Questions re: potentially lame costume, and trick-or-treating date

[Anonymous]

as another asian person, i wouldn't mind it as long as there wasn't some overdone caricaturing (like eyemakeuping slanty eyes)

[Anonymous]

The blackface analogy is no good. That implies that people in China are somehow born in silk dresses, and cannot take them off, and that wearing a silk dress is a bad thing. If it is so offensive to Chinese people for non-Chinese folks to wear their traditional clothing, why are they sold in every tourist shop all over China? After all, I've never actually seen a Chinese person wearing one of these dresses, unless she was working in a restaurant. They're clearly made for dress-up. Even the Chinese use them for that purpose!

Would we be horrified to see an Asian kid wearing a leather vest and chaps? On my god! He's mocking our manly culture of cowboys! *clutches pearls*

How about this? The kid wears the dress, and if someone who's either profoundly stupid or spoiling for a fight asks "what is she dressed as", just say "she's wearing it to honor the strong and brave Chinese people who built the American railroads."

[Anonymous]

It's offensive to dress as a native american for Halloween??

[Anonymous]

I have Native American heritage. Am I allowed to put my child in Native American dress? Do I have to carry my geneaological records when we trick-or-treat?

[Anonymous]

asian pp again... i'd say she was a "chinese princess." why not?

[Anonymous]

11:50 here,

I think it's about as offensive as a kid dressing up like a Mexican wearing a poncho and sombrero. I don't think it's as bad as putting a kid in black face. But I think you can avoid being somewhat offensive if you dressed her in the Chinese dress as Mulan or some other actual PERSON, be it real or fictional.

As an Asian person, I wouldn't be super offended but I would feel uncomfortable like you viewed my culture as somewhat of a joke, like those clothes are costumes etc. Chinese people don't wear those clothes on a regular basis anymore, but the do for special occasions (my cousin wore one at her wedding) and there are some rural areas of the country where people still wear traditional dress. Those dresses that you see in gift shops were invented in the 1940's and 50's when western influence entered China and you only saw those in large cities like Beijing and Shanghai anyway. Like every other country, traditional dress varies by region and because China is so large, the variations can be extreme. When you wear something stereotypical like that it can and will (by some people) be viewed as offensive. Also, the reason whey they sell them all over the place is because westerners buy them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the costume idea is okay, though it might be offensive to some people unless she is dressing up as a character (Mulan?) - think dressing up like an Indian, etc.

The day and time for trick or treating depends on your neighborhood. Our neighborhood puts it in their newsletter so you might check there or your neighborhood list serv.

Good heavens! She is three years old who the hell is going to find this offensive. OP I think your idea is great and is also safe because she won't be wearing a mask and dress will not be too long. Tough luck if some supersensitive twit is offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:50 here,

I think it's about as offensive as a kid dressing up like a Mexican wearing a poncho and sombrero.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some people are easily offended. I have often received lovely traditional garb from friends who travel, and worn it to Halloween parties. When else am I going to wear a gorgeous sari, or a kimono? Do you think my Indian friend who brought me the sari thought that perhaps I should wear it to work? And if I did, how long would it be before someone posted on here "I just saw a blond woman on metro all decked out in a fancy sari. She's not Indian! How weird!"

What is the point of having these items if you don't wear them? And when ELSE can you wear them, if not on Halloween? Serious question.

Well... you could try wearing your sari or kimono to a dinner party or to a nice restaurant. If you feel uncomfortable enough in clothing that you only feel that you can wear to events where you are pretending to be someone else, maybe you should just thank the gift-giver for being so thoughtful, admire it, and stow it in your closet. That's not about being "easily offended" -- that's about treating other cultures with respect.

[Anonymous]

Will my son possibly offend firefighters if he wears his firefighter costume trick-or-treating? Should I require him to say he is "Fireman Sam" or some other "actual" firefiighter character so as to not risk offending?

[Anonymous]

my mom dressed me as different nationalities fo several Halloweens- I was a "Dutch girl" one year with yellow yarn for hair, clogs, milk maid outfit, another year I was a "Spanish lady," with a fan, lace shawl and mantilla. I loved it, and never realized it was possibly offensive until today. I was also a gypsy several years in a row, I assume that is out of the question now too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will my son possibly offend firefighters if he wears his firefighter costume trick-or-treating? Should I require him to say he is "Fireman Sam" or some other "actual" firefiighter character so as to not risk offending?

Poor analogy. Many little boys want to BE firefighters. I doubt this woman's daughter wants to be Asian or has asked to be Asian. She's being dressed up as Asian because this woman considers it cute or doll-like and she's even adding make-up. What is she teaching her daughter about Asians or Chinese people?

OP, if you don't want to pay for a costume -- and you can go to to a neighborhood thrift store and get a hardly used one for $2.00, but that's neither here nor there -- maybe she could be a black cat. Maybe she could be a pink princess. Maybe the two of you could make something together.

[Anonymous]

I think it's about as offensive as a kid dressing up like a Mexican wearing a poncho and sombrero.

I can't tell if you're saying it IS or ISN'T offensive to dress as a Mexican in a poncho and sombrero. Is a poncho & sombrero a negative stereotype of Mexicans? (that's a serious question)

My nanny (S. American) gave my little boy a traditional outfit from her country to wear to preschool on "International Day," which is when the kids dress up to represent different cultures/countries of their choice. We're not Latino. Was it offensive to let my child wear the outfit? I thought he looked adorable, and my nanny is the one who dressed him in it and she thought he looked great, so I know she wasn't offended!

On a previous International Day, I had him represent Italy - he wore a chef's hat & apron with an Italian flag on it, and he carried a wooden spoon. I also drew a little curly mustache on his face. I'm half Italian. Offensive to Italians? Offensive if we had no Italian heritage at all? Before that, one of my kids dressed to represent the American West as a cowboy. We don't have any "cowboy" heritage as our families weren't in the US during that era. Offensive to real cowboys?

Just trying to figure out where you draw the line between a child thinking another culture is interesting and having fun dressing up in traditional garb, and insulting people.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe I neglected to consider the feelings of the marine life community when I bought my DS's shark costume. DS is doomed to be a bigot for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's about as offensive as a kid dressing up like a Mexican wearing a poncho and sombrero.

I can't tell if you're saying it IS or ISN'T offensive to dress as a Mexican in a poncho and sombrero. Is a poncho & sombrero a negative stereotype of Mexicans? (that's a serious question)

My nanny (S. American) gave my little boy a traditional outfit from her country to wear to preschool on "International Day," which is when the kids dress up to represent different cultures/countries of their choice. We're not Latino. Was it offensive to let my child wear the outfit? I thought he looked adorable, and my nanny is the one who dressed him in it and she thought he looked great, so I know she wasn't offended!

On a previous International Day, I had him represent Italy - he wore a chef's hat & apron with an Italian flag on it, and he carried a wooden spoon. I also drew a little curly mustache on his face. I'm half Italian. Offensive to Italians? Offensive if we had no Italian heritage at all? Before that, one of my kids dressed to represent the American West as a cowboy. We don't have any "cowboy" heritage as our families weren't in the US during that era. Offensive to real cowboys?

Just trying to figure out where you draw the line between a child thinking another culture is interesting and having fun dressing up in traditional garb, and insulting people.

If you read the original poster's question, the child in question is three -- and, unless unduly precocious, is not particularly interested in Chinese culture. International Day at the school is (supposedly) a day on which the kids LEARN about the culture they are representing, not just dress up about it. There is a substantial difference between that sort of activity and the parent unilaterally dressing up (and making up) a 3 y.o. as a "Chinese" for Halloween.