What to do when teen breaks a “small” rule

[Anonymous]

It helps to clarify the age, op. 13 is different than 16 on these things.

Since she’s 13, I’d dig a little deeper on why she’s sharing out the iPad, and she’d probably lose access to it for a while.

On the caffeine drinks, I’d again dig a little deeper in the why, and get into some facts on caffeine amounts and the danger of them. I’d figure out where/when she’s buying them and eliminate that opportunity.

That said, this is because she’s only 13. If she were a few years older, it would be different. I would approach this with curiosity first though, and try to figure out what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thanks for the feedback. I’m surprised how many others have no problem with their young teens drinking super highly caffeinated drinks. And yes I’m talking about her lending her iPad (technically not hers since we paid for it) and giving her friend the password when we’ve specifically said no.
I didnt think those kinds of things were terribly onerous rules for a 13-year-old.

The drink you are insane

The iPad different issue

If you kid did that with the iPad she loses computer privileges period. Punishment fits crime. She’s also lose her phone for not being able to communicate effectively and use passwords. She’s not responsible you raised a brat.

[Anonymous]

13!
That’s still little kid. Punish & set rules.
No freedom or too much independence at this age. It will only lead to a kid who does drugs, alcohol, & gets into trouble all before highschool even starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thanks for the feedback. I’m surprised how many others have no problem with their young teens drinking super highly caffeinated drinks. And yes I’m talking about her lending her iPad (technically not hers since we paid for it) and giving her friend the password when we’ve specifically said no.
I didnt think those kinds of things were terribly onerous rules for a 13-year-old.

I would not allow it.

[Anonymous]

Your rule on energy drinks is silly and completely unenforceable. Not punishing isn't the same as approving.

Take the iPad away for a while if she doesn't need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thanks for the feedback. I’m surprised how many others have no problem with their young teens drinking super highly caffeinated drinks. And yes I’m talking about her lending her iPad (technically not hers since we paid for it) and giving her friend the password when we’ve specifically said no.
I didnt think those kinds of things were terribly onerous rules for a 13-year-old.

These are very different issues.

I would draw the line at loaning the iPad because it’s mine and I don’t want to replace it. I would drive to the friend’s house and pick it up. Yes, daughter would be embarrassed but it’s a reasonable consequence for not following the rules about family items.

The soda is different. It’s her body and she will notice that it’s not a good idea on her own. You’re creating a power struggle over nothing AND you’re making her more likely to do it just to spite you. The one thing I would insist is that everything is done as usual the next day—so no skipping activities because she’s too tired, etc. But really, just Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thanks for the feedback. I’m surprised how many others have no problem with their young teens drinking super highly caffeinated drinks. And yes I’m talking about her lending her iPad (technically not hers since we paid for it) and giving her friend the password when we’ve specifically said no.
I didnt think those kinds of things were terribly onerous rules for a 13-year-old.

These are very different issues.

I would draw the line at loaning the iPad because it’s mine and I don’t want to replace it. I would drive to the friend’s house and pick it up. Yes, daughter would be embarrassed but it’s a reasonable consequence for not following the rules about family items.

The soda is different. It’s her body and she will notice that it’s not a good idea on her own. You’re creating a power struggle over nothing AND you’re making her more likely to do it just to spite you. The one thing I would insist is that everything is done as usual the next day—so no skipping activities because she’s too tired, etc. But really, just Let it go.

Oh yeah, and I would change the password on the iPad. If she shows you she’s not responsible enough to handle it, she’s back on a kid account with no access.

[Anonymous]

She not talking about soda, she’s talking about the Bloom or Alani drinks they market to girls now. They’re crap- basically Red Bull? My fourteen-year-old is obsessed with them. I told her can have one a week, but I still hate them. I disagree with most about that one- it’s okay to say no there.

[Anonymous]

Make her watch Empire Records

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make her watch Empire Records

Oooo ooo and the episode of saved by the bell where Jesse is addicted to speed but they changed it to “caffeine pills!” That is perfect!

If you make a 13 year old sit down and watch old tv with you, she will get way better at hiding her Red Bull cans.

[Anonymous]

I would have an issue with loaning out the iPad. There doesn’t seem to be a reason for that, it’s expensive and you bought it.

As for the energy drinks, let it go. How many is she drinking? An Alani every now and then isn’t that bad. I buy them for my high schooler and she has one daily before school. It’s not great but they are one of the lower caffeine drinks and much less than the coffee I drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have an issue with loaning out the iPad. There doesn’t seem to be a reason for that, it’s expensive and you bought it.

As for the energy drinks, let it go. How many is she drinking? An Alani every now and then isn’t that bad. I buy them for my high schooler and she has one daily before school. It’s not great but they are one of the lower caffeine drinks and much less than the coffee I drink.

If you're drinking normal coffee or espresso, that is to say something not infused with extra caffeine, then you're wrong. The energy drinks have 200mg+ per can. Standard brewed coffee has under 100 mg per 8 oz.

Of course, you could be drinking 32 oz + in the morning, which would be a lot in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Wow disagree with the others. I'd rather my kid tried beer at a party than drank Monster. Yes you can control what your minor child puts in their body FFS. Do your kids all try coke too and you're like, it's their body!!! Like literally what you are talking about.

If she loans an expensive item out when you told her, it is taken away. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have an issue with loaning out the iPad. There doesn’t seem to be a reason for that, it’s expensive and you bought it.

As for the energy drinks, let it go. How many is she drinking? An Alani every now and then isn’t that bad. I buy them for my high schooler and she has one daily before school. It’s not great but they are one of the lower caffeine drinks and much less than the coffee I drink.

If you're drinking normal coffee or espresso, that is to say something not infused with extra caffeine, then you're wrong. The energy drinks have 200mg+ per can. Standard brewed coffee has under 100 mg per 8 oz.

Of course, you could be drinking 32 oz + in the morning, which would be a lot in many ways.

The small cans of Alanis that are popular have 100 mg of caffeine. The larger cans have 200 mg.

How many of us actually drink an 8oz cup of coffee? I don’t.

[Anonymous]

^ and I was only referring to what I buy, in my house, which is the small cans of Alanis. I watch my kid take one to the bus stop. She’s older than OP’s DD so this isn’t even relevant.