“Really great man = average woman”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see this posted on social media all the time now. Do you agree?

To explain the quote, the people who post this say even that even a man who has an impressive job, provides for his family, cooks, cleans, takes care of kids, and is emotionally intelligent is just like any average woman.

What do you think?

Entirely accurate. Look at how many men leave their wives when they get sick, while women take care of their husbands. A man who takes care of his wife is considered so amazing.

[Anonymous]

It's true. My husband and I vent about it all the time, and he finds the fawning to be insulting and infantilizing, when he's just out being a dad and trying his best to be an equal partner.*

*He acknowledges that this is partly because he's often the ONLY guy doing these things like working the school fair, bringing in snacks, taking the kids to the dentist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

Who is celebrating them and seeing them as a god? Who is excoriating the women?

People seem to be caught up in their own heads. This just doesn't happen.

My husband and I are egalitarian parents and he truly does his half. When we had two under two, he got ENDLESS compliments from strangers in public when it was just him with the two of them. I mean, he could not take them to the park for an hour without someone commenting on how he was such a great dad. Twice during that time strangers BOUGHT HIM COFFEE because he was such a great dad and had his hands full!

I've never had a stranger compliment my parenting.

And I remember one time, when I was pregnant with #3 and had a cold, we were at my mothers and trying to pack up to leave and watch the two kids, and it was a bit crazy. We were both working together to get things done, and my mother is just fawning. "Oh, you are such a great dad! Look at all you're doing!" and I eventually had to stop and say "Mom, I'm doing the same things, and I'm also PREGNANT and SICK!"

So, yeah. This is a thing for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who denies this is either a shitty parent themselves or a man. It's 100% a true phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Agree 100%! And this is why women dominate the patriarchy. They are so superior to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree 100%! And this is why women dominate the patriarchy. They are so superior to men.

This thread is really bothering you, eh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is fawning over the men - the other mothers at the bake sale? the receptionist at the doctor's office?

I haven't really seen men get fawned over by basic things but I guess in my circle, we don't really fawn over anyone.

+1

I have never seen this once in 17 years of parenting. I think it’s a dumb trope in kid movies from the 90s. Not real life. Most of the men I know are actually really involved fathers despite having high paying, demanding jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree 100%! And this is why women dominate the patriarchy. They are so superior to men.

Found the man in denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is fawning over the men - the other mothers at the bake sale? the receptionist at the doctor's office?

I haven't really seen men get fawned over by basic things but I guess in my circle, we don't really fawn over anyone.

+1

I have never seen this once in 17 years of parenting. I think it’s a dumb trope in kid movies from the 90s. Not real life. Most of the men I know are actually really involved fathers despite having high paying, demanding jobs.

Lol what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it means that people fawn all over a man/dad who is able to accomplish what the average woman/mom is expected to handle on a daily basis.

This. If a mom bakes 3 dozen perfectly-frosted cupcakes for the bake sale, shows up early to set up, and stays late to clean, she gets a thank you. A Dad works the same sale for an hour and "OMG, he's such an involved father!!!" A mom coordinates all the kid's medical, dental, orthodontic appointments, and nobody blinks because it's expected. A dad knows which shots his own kid still needs, or takes the kid for a sick visit, and "WOW, what a loving and attentive father!" A mom maintains the troop roster, and the snack rotation, and brings the first aid kit, and makes sure everyone has uniforms (plus always having extras, just in case), and it's background work that goes unnoticed. A dad shows up to help coach and "It's SOOOO great to see a dad involved with his kids".

It's actually insulting to MEN, because its roots are in the basic assumption that men are do-nothing dipshits who need a gold star and a cookie for being involved with their own kids.

This.

Plus the very fact that we have the term "working mom" but not the term "working dad" illustrates the disparate assumptions about what moms do versus what dads do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

Who is celebrating them and seeing them as a god? Who is excoriating the women?

People seem to be caught up in their own heads. This just doesn't happen.

+1 I think these tropes are very unhelpful.

Maybe it's because we have kids in daycare and public ES but it's mostly 2 working parents and both are juggling dropoffs, Dr appts, etc.

[Anonymous]

I did get the fawning over stuff when I had the kids in public when they were young, and it was insulting.

My wife and I bring different things to the table, but share the lift on getting kids where they need to go, dressing and feeding them, and keeping a home.

There's a huge amount of this nonsense on Instagram where women are all talking about how incompetent their men are at basic functions and that is not something I see in my crowd of MC/UMC fathers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

Who is celebrating them and seeing them as a god? Who is excoriating the women?

People seem to be caught up in their own heads. This just doesn't happen.

My husband and I are egalitarian parents and he truly does his half. When we had two under two, he got ENDLESS compliments from strangers in public when it was just him with the two of them. I mean, he could not take them to the park for an hour without someone commenting on how he was such a great dad. Twice during that time strangers BOUGHT HIM COFFEE because he was such a great dad and had his hands full!

I've never had a stranger compliment my parenting.

And I remember one time, when I was pregnant with #3 and had a cold, we were at my mothers and trying to pack up to leave and watch the two kids, and it was a bit crazy. We were both working together to get things done, and my mother is just fawning. "Oh, you are such a great dad! Look at all you're doing!" and I eventually had to stop and say "Mom, I'm doing the same things, and I'm also PREGNANT and SICK!"

So, yeah. This is a thing for sure.

This! People think a dad taking his kids to the playground (an extremely easy and almost passive parenting activity) is impressive. I've spent hours at playgrounds as a mom and no one has ever thought this was impressive. Not that I think they should -- again, it's a normal, easy activity. But somehow when a man does it, he's a savior. Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the average woman is working an impressive job, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, and emotionally intelligent.

There is usually a husband, parents, nannies, cleaners etc involved. Lots of women buy ready made meals, get take out etc.

And I don't think women are simply emotionally intelligent by virtue of being female.

I know the trope is the superwoman mother and the useless father but I don't actually see either in real life. In my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances - the mothers and fathers are all involved in whatever it takes to manage the home and family, lots have help and use conveniences, and none are useless or perfect.

I am divorced and childless (not by choice) so I admit up front I may not see all the things, but the superwoman mother and the useless father is all I see around me. Perhaps it is cultural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree 100%! And this is why women dominate the patriarchy. They are so superior to men.

This thread is really bothering you, eh

The delusional blathering is entertaining. You want to be sooo oppressed but also claim to be soooo superior, depending on what's convenient at the moment. Pick a lane. Or better yet don't. It's funny,.