“Really great man = average woman”

[Anonymous]

I see this posted on social media all the time now. Do you agree?

To explain the quote, the people who post this say even that even a man who has an impressive job, provides for his family, cooks, cleans, takes care of kids, and is emotionally intelligent is just like any average woman.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

I think it means that people fawn all over a man/dad who is able to accomplish what the average woman/mom is expected to handle on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it means that people fawn all over a man/dad who is able to accomplish what the average woman/mom is expected to handle on a daily basis.

This. If a mom bakes 3 dozen perfectly-frosted cupcakes for the bake sale, shows up early to set up, and stays late to clean, she gets a thank you. A Dad works the same sale for an hour and "OMG, he's such an involved father!!!" A mom coordinates all the kid's medical, dental, orthodontic appointments, and nobody blinks because it's expected. A dad knows which shots his own kid still needs, or takes the kid for a sick visit, and "WOW, what a loving and attentive father!" A mom maintains the troop roster, and the snack rotation, and brings the first aid kit, and makes sure everyone has uniforms (plus always having extras, just in case), and it's background work that goes unnoticed. A dad shows up to help coach and "It's SOOOO great to see a dad involved with his kids".

It's actually insulting to MEN, because its roots are in the basic assumption that men are do-nothing dipshits who need a gold star and a cookie for being involved with their own kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the average woman is working an impressive job, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, and emotionally intelligent.

There is usually a husband, parents, nannies, cleaners etc involved. Lots of women buy ready made meals, get take out etc.

And I don't think women are simply emotionally intelligent by virtue of being female.

I know the trope is the superwoman mother and the useless father but I don't actually see either in real life. In my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances - the mothers and fathers are all involved in whatever it takes to manage the home and family, lots have help and use conveniences, and none are useless or perfect.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with this universally.

I do agree that a really great dad = average mom.

[Anonymous]

Who is fawning over the men - the other mothers at the bake sale? the receptionist at the doctor's office?

I haven't really seen men get fawned over by basic things but I guess in my circle, we don't really fawn over anyone.

[Anonymous]

It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like more white women feminism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

Who is celebrating them and seeing them as a god? Who is excoriating the women?

People seem to be caught up in their own heads. This just doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

These men are few and far between, and many flake and stop being awesome.
The expectations for men are much lower than they are for women. I don’t really understand the controversy here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like more white women feminism

How? Be specific.

[Anonymous]

Well I guess if women / mothers are saying they are doing everything then they are responsible for fawning over their sons and having low expectations and excoriating their daughters and having high expectations. If they are the ones single handedly raising society's men and women, they are the ones instilling these values, creating this, and enforcing and validating it.

So we need to tell mothers to stop fawning over men and boys and to stop excoriating daughters and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like more white women feminism

I came to write that as long as people don't praise my DH as being a great MOM, I am fine. An involved great dad for me means a mom knew how to delegate tasks to that dad.

There is no equivalency between a dad and a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like more white women feminism

I came to write that as long as people don't praise my DH as being a great MOM, I am fine. An involved great dad for me means a mom knew how to delegate tasks to that dad.

There is no equivalency between a dad and a mom.

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true.

The man who does the bare minimum is celebrated. The woman who does more than the bare minimum is still excoriated. If they can cook and clean up after themselves they're seen as some sort of god.

Literally, the bar is in hell for men, and many still come with a shovel.

Who is celebrating them and seeing them as a god? Who is excoriating the women?

People seem to be caught up in their own heads. This just doesn't happen.

+1. This isn't a real thing. It's a resentful fantasy. My wife hasn't cooked a meal in months, been to a kid's doctor's appointment in years, or signed up for summer camp ever. No "excoriates" her for not doing those things or praises me for doing them.