Would you choose a school that is better academically or a better social fit?

[Anonymous]

We are a minority family in a strong public with minimal diversity. Local privates are equivalent to maybe better with more diversity. For now, we are going to supplement with outside academic enrichment, do the privates’ entrance exams/applications for the upcoming year and see how it all plays out. No advice really, just solidarity

[Anonymous]

I would not send my child to a school where there are so few who look like them.

[Anonymous]

NP. Children differ. Schools also differ. Different families will make different choices - and that is ok.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends. How much is your child going to have in common with the other minority kids at their public school if she is well behaved and academically advanced? Just having the same skin color doesn’t make it an appropriate social environment. I would put my kid where their behavior and academics are closely matched with the other kids-regardless of skin color

[Anonymous]

I have one in public (W MoCo school) and another in private. One education is not better than the other, they are just different. Both DCs are getting the most out of their education because it is a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:East Asian here. Always academics. Always. The social resolves itself, and if it doesn't, it was never going to resolve itself.

Case in point: one of my kids has autism. He's been in various schools - we lived abroad and he attended majority East Asian private international schools - and he was never able to socialize, due to his neurodivergence. My other, younger, children spent most of their education in American public schools, where they are in the ethnic minority, and they have made all kinds of friends from all cultures and origins.

So... academics.

Also. A quarter of people that look like you??? That's such a large minority that you can't really complain, OP! What kind of fragile snowflake are you? My goodness.


"Snowflake"

You are an idiot.

OP disregard this fool.

Minorities in this country are in trouble. By 2028 The Heritage Foundation will have taken over most public schools in this country and academics will be a thing of. the past.

I would put your kid in the safest place for the long haul.

If Project 2025 and the Heritage Foundation were not a thing I would say academics all day everyday, but we need to live in reality and reality is minorities and girls in school are not going to be safe and or even educated by 2028.

When someone uses the term "snowflake" they are MAGA ill informed garbage.

[Anonymous]

We were in a similar situation and chose academics. The private has fewer minorities, but more kids “like him” in terms of behavior and drive. So yes, fewer faces that look like his, but he felt validated and more accepted when it came to personality, values, and academic interests.

[Anonymous]

I’m 11:28 poster. I forgot the caveat that if switching to a better academic environment means the kid would be That One Black Kid (or one of two in the entire school), then no, not worth it. There needs to be more than that.

[Anonymous]

Social over academic all the way. Soft skills will carry you further than academics with the exception being you want to be in academia. Even if you end up a Dr or attorney, you gotta bring in business as a Partner to strike it rich. Or be a people person in dealing with people.

Academics is something you can find ways around whether in public, transferring into schools or unless you're going to top Ivy sorry no huge difference between U Michigan and Miami U - what I mean is - unless it's the top 10 brand school, the difference between grad from Northwestern and Vanderbilt or Emory isn't an arm and a leg - top 30 is not that huge difference from top 35th or 26th.

So yeah, make your As wherever you are is great. But culturally - who you make friends with, who you know, lessons on making relationships and your confidence - that is what determines your success long term.

I hire top talent for global F50 C level and have managed college recruiting in my 25 yr career. I promise that it's always the relationship you develop that gets you further in life than anything else.

[Anonymous]

We just chose the social element. In my case my kid is in private school and bored and the question was whether to send him to a different more rigorous private. But it took him so long to make friends and he was so upset at the thought of leaving his friends that we decided to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:16 again. In the DC area, OP, there are only a very small handful of privates that are better than the best publics of southwest MCPS and some FCPS schools. St Albans/NCS and Sidwell come to mind.

Please name these best public schools. I'm looking to move.

[Anonymous]

We chose social over academics for our social kid. After 12 years, we got a well adjusted social kid, who is just ok in academics, but never complained about going to school a single day in his life. And he still loves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social over academic all the way. Soft skills will carry you further than academics with the exception being you want to be in academia. Even if you end up a Dr or attorney, you gotta bring in business as a Partner to strike it rich. Or be a people person in dealing with people.

Academics is something you can find ways around whether in public, transferring into schools or unless you're going to top Ivy sorry no huge difference between U Michigan and Miami U - what I mean is - unless it's the top 10 brand school, the difference between grad from Northwestern and Vanderbilt or Emory isn't an arm and a leg - top 30 is not that huge difference from top 35th or 26th.

So yeah, make your As wherever you are is great. But culturally - who you make friends with, who you know, lessons on making relationships and your confidence - that is what determines your success long term.

I hire top talent for global F50 C level and have managed college recruiting in my 25 yr career. I promise that it's always the relationship you develop that gets you further in life than anything else.

I was going to say academic, but for the same reasons you just said. I was the only minority in my entire school, so I was forced to learn how to make relationships and be confident around people very different from me just to survive. In the end, I learned that all people are unique individuals, and the way to develop strong relationships is to keep an open mind, care about the other person, and accept that sometimes, you can't be friends with everyone. That's something you can learn anywhere. Knowing what you need to know academically though, is harder to do if you go to a school that doesn't teach that well, so I'd choose academics.

[Anonymous]

We chose academics over social, but knew our kid was a social butterfly and would likely easily adjust to the new environment. The current private is no academic powerhouse, but the bar was so low at the public. What we pay for at the private is at least akin to the public education we had growing up... and there are zero behavioral issues. DC9 now knows how to spell words like "friend" and "principal," can identify parts of speech, and is learning about geographic regions, scientific method, and has plenty of math practice. Handwriting is getting better every month now that there is written work being prioritized over Chromebook time. I do try to choose extracurricular settings that put DC in contact with different kinds of kids and families (immigrant families, non-Asian minorities, other languages besides Spanish/English, lower SES, male/minority coaches). School is not very diverse.

[Anonymous]

IME the academic move of my parents putting me in private school actually placed me better socially long-term. It was private that made me comfortable socializing and relating to higher class people in the workplace. I would not have been able to do that at all coming straight from my poor SES public. If you don't expect your kids to go into professional, higher income office settings, I don't think this applies.