Dominant / submissive dynamics in relationship

[Anonymous]

DH and I have this dynamic, some of which is outside of the bedroom. He is very good at pushing me to my limits, to the point where my eyes well up, but not to the point of crying. There is a perfect balance of mental and physical dominance. The level of intensity is incredible. We know each others roles in the relationship, but there is not role playing at all. It is who he is, calculated, respectful, methodical, deviant, loving. And knowing it is all about me / for me makes it truly incredible. It is what makes me want to submit, I have no worries when I am with him, there is a complete trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This dynamics only works for people who are PRESENT. Most men are not present and can't focus on the moment enough to engage in this dynamics.

Those who will give their partner the best Os ever.

Women love being dominated.

I don't know about all women but I'm pretty dominant in my life outside the bedroom. Am definitely enjoying being submissive with my new-ish boyfriend. Don't let anyone ever tell you that post-menopause sex is a chore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that none of the responders are into the woman dominating...the role I find myself in.

As the woman or the man?

[Anonymous]

We have always enjoyed this type of relationship. It keeps things very exciting but it's in the bedroom only although we do have our own little code words and signs we use in vanilla company. We get to try different things, keep what we like, reject what we don't. Collect toys and implements. Once in a while, we switch and she gets a whole month to dominate me and I obey without question. So turn-around is fair play. I'd never want another vanilla relationship. We've been together 12 years and I also had this with my previous relationship of 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have always enjoyed this type of relationship. It keeps things very exciting but it's in the bedroom only although we do have our own little code words and signs we use in vanilla company. We get to try different things, keep what we like, reject what we don't. Collect toys and implements. Once in a while, we switch and she gets a whole month to dominate me and I obey without question. So turn-around is fair play. I'd never want another vanilla relationship. We've been together 12 years and I also had this with my previous relationship of 15 years.

Again, is this so unusual these days as to be non-vanilla? This kinda sounds like every satisfying long-term sexual relationship ever, not really D/s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that none of the responders are into the woman dominating...the role I find myself in.

As the woman or the man?

The woman. I don't mind, but I'd like to mix it up.

[Anonymous]

DW here and I like to be the Dom. I have a $trap0n and I play the man.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this something you and your partner have explored sexually? Or is this not something either of you like?

I find it can be a lot of fun; just a unique kind of role play.

No. I wouldn't suggest it to any guy. The chance of being accused of rape is way too high. Just don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have always enjoyed this type of relationship. It keeps things very exciting but it's in the bedroom only although we do have our own little code words and signs we use in vanilla company. We get to try different things, keep what we like, reject what we don't. Collect toys and implements. Once in a while, we switch and she gets a whole month to dominate me and I obey without question. So turn-around is fair play. I'd never want another vanilla relationship. We've been together 12 years and I also had this with my previous relationship of 15 years.

Again, is this so unusual these days as to be non-vanilla? This kinda sounds like every satisfying long-term sexual relationship ever, not really D/s.

It's still DCUM so I spared you all the details but trust me, we are very much in the lifestyle. If I didn't spare you the details, I'd also take a lot of judgmental abuse on here over the type of things we get up to. And I get it. Most people in that lifestyle know better than to share what they do with those who would not understand or may even want to get authorities involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW here and I like to be the Dom. I have a $trap0n and I play the man.

As a man who has been on the receiving end, that can be an exciting experience.

[Anonymous]

I’m a man who loves to be disciplined as foreplay and my wife accommodates.

[Anonymous]

Disciplined how?

[Anonymous]

Hairbrush, wooden spoon, belt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men today are simply scared and I don't blame them. Spank her today, she enjoys it and a week later she filed a report for sexual assault.

If you are single man looking for this kind of dynamics go for a sex worker advertising this service, or do it with a fiance/wife who has given consent over and over .
With a casual acquaintance, FWB, random hookup NOPE don't do it. Her words and against yours. And you will lose 9/10 times.

I'm recently divorced and had sex with couple of younger guys in their 30s. They were so scared to touch me asking consent for every little detail that it just became a turn off..at first I thought I was giving an off vibe, but when it happened the second time and a girlfriend shared similar experience it seems that it's not uncommon.

This seems like a "you" problem. Men asking for consent is what most women want. As a man, I'd rather just ask than have to guess if she's into something and worry bout misinterpreting a signal.