Avoid holiday with family only because of sister and her bf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should attend to see your relatives. I say this, when I told another OP yesterday that her own parents barely deserved a few minutes of visit time because they were unabashed MAGA. She is coming home to visit both in-laws and parents.

But this is different: you are going to see a large group of people and only one is morally in the wrong, and he's not even your blood relative. You don't need to greet him, or talk much to your sister. Just hang out with the others.

I agree especially if you didn't otherwise get to see this other extended family. Don't let him boot you out of your own family space.

[Anonymous]

I think you should definitely go and avoid them. Don’t let them keep you from spending time with family members you like. Before and afterwards, talk to your kids about it.

[Anonymous]

A gathering of 30 people? I would go and just avoid him.

If you skip every gathering that might have someone offensive in it, you'll never leave your house. Just choose who you actually interact with. And keep an eye on your kids to make sure he doesn't corner them. But don't pass up an opportunity to see the rest of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A gathering of 30 people? I would go and just avoid him.

If you skip every gathering that might have someone offensive in it, you'll never leave your house. Just choose who you actually interact with. And keep an eye on your kids to make sure he doesn't corner them. But don't pass up an opportunity to see the rest of the family.

I agree. Go. It's only a problem for you if this guy specifically targets your kids, at which point you reassess.

[Anonymous]

Mom of biracial kids here with my humble opinion. I would go since it is a large group but avoid him. But I would be listening and the second some crap came out of his mouth I would be out of there. No ifs, ands, or buts. You get no chances when it comes to being decent around kids. And if anybody asks, which they will, you tell the truth and let the rest of them deal with the fallout. They don't back you up and try to keep the peace? Then you've learned a valuable lesson...are these people you actually want to have influencing your children? I know it sounds harsh, but I no longer speak to a MAGA wing of my extended family and I while I miss them, I don't feel an iota of guilt. You owe it your kids to not put up with racist BS if that is the flavor of MAGA (as someone asked above).

[Anonymous]

I would also show my kids a picture of him and tell them to avoid him. Not scare them but just tell them he’s a jerk. This is assuming they’re 5 or older. Younger than that I would go no worries and just keep an eye on the kids. The won’t follow what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree - don't go. Protect your kids. See your extended family separately instead.

OP, you could also go in order to spend time with the relatives you want to see but I would protect my kids from someone like that.

[Anonymous]

What kinds of things does he say?

[Anonymous]

If it were a much smaller gathering, I would say to avoid it. However, with thirty people it might be easier to just avoid. If there is another family member you could considering- they may help run interference.

[Anonymous]

You have to be a complete idiot to go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

PP with biracial kids. Nope, nope, nope. You judge people on their actions. Overt racism results in ugly words and actions. NEVER OK. Why don't people understand this?????????????????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a large family gathering on Christmas Day each year (about 30 people).
I haven’t spoken to my sister all year because she’s constantly defending the racist things her MAGA bf and his friends say/post online.
They are coming to Christmas again this year - an Aunt is hosting who doesn’t really know the details and my parents refuse to get involved.

On one hand I can’t stand this guy and really do not want to be around him on Christmas Day, nor do I want my biracial kids within 20 feet of him. But on the other hand I’ll miss my extended family and don’t want to miss out all because of one jerk.

Anyone nope out of holiday gatherings because they can’t stand people?

What are the racist things that this man says? That he thinks immigration laws should be enforced? That has nothing to do with your biracial kids and you go. And then you should think about how you judge people based on your political beliefs. Other overt racism? OK, maybe not.

PP with biracial kids. Nope, nope, nope. You judge people on their actions. Overt racism results in ugly words and actions. NEVER OK. Why don't people understand this?????????????????????

I think you missed the point that the PP was trying to make. If it’s a difference of opinion on policies that reasonable people could disagree about then you just need to get over it. People are allowed to have different opinions. Now if the dude is being overly racist then that’s a different story altogether especially with your children involved. OP has not provided any examples of his offensive comments so it’s difficult to say whether she should avoid the party or not. My strong belief is that avoiding social interactions is not a way to build strong healthy societies. Even if you disagree with people, you still need to learn to live with them in most cases. Not in all cases, most cases.

[Anonymous]

Op, you do not need to be around him, not with 30 people there

[Anonymous]

Don’t attend
Stop following them/him on social
Media