High school homework 2e/ADHD—I need some hope/success stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same story, but graduated from college a few years ago. I think dc ended up with 9 APs in hs. It was not pretty. Meds, therapy, extended time, EF coach, tutors. I think tutors are essential to keep kids on track. Also whiteboard with due dates for every assignment. It is a slog, and you need to stay on top of it. They just get overwhelmed and shut down.

Thanks for this. Is there anything you’d change/do differently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same story, but graduated from college a few years ago. I think dc ended up with 9 APs in hs. It was not pretty. Meds, therapy, extended time, EF coach, tutors. I think tutors are essential to keep kids on track. Also whiteboard with due dates for every assignment. It is a slog, and you need to stay on top of it. They just get overwhelmed and shut down.

Thanks for this. Is there anything you’d change/do differently?

It was a late diagnosis, at 16. Signs were there, but we did not put 2 and 2 together. I wish dc was medicated earlier, started therapy earlier, etc. Wish I never engaged in supervising hw. Outsource if you can. But watch them like a hawk, they do stupid things that they regret later. They are smart and capable, but impulse control is not there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same story, but graduated from college a few years ago. I think dc ended up with 9 APs in hs. It was not pretty. Meds, therapy, extended time, EF coach, tutors. I think tutors are essential to keep kids on track. Also whiteboard with due dates for every assignment. It is a slog, and you need to stay on top of it. They just get overwhelmed and shut down.

Thanks for this. Is there anything you’d change/do differently?

It was a late diagnosis, at 16. Signs were there, but we did not put 2 and 2 together. I wish dc was medicated earlier, started therapy earlier, etc. Wish I never engaged in supervising hw. Outsource if you can. But watch them like a hawk, they do stupid things that they regret later. They are smart and capable, but impulse control is not there.

Yes, this exactly. Thank you. Smart and capable but prone to stupid things. I don’t want him to limit his options in the future because of dumb stuff now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my ADHD 23kid, who is in 8th grade. Homework takes forever! We started using an executive functioning coach/tutor this year. I can't keep helicopter parenting him anymore. They help him plan each week and calendar when he's going to do his homework, and I'm available to help, but only if he proactively asks for my help, and I tell him that if he has incomplete assignments or a grade lower than a B, he can't have his phone or see his friends over the weekend. It's mostly working. He also has to see an after-school tutor if he gets a grade below a B in any class. It's kind of working.

Thank you for this. Can you recommend a source for hiring a good executive function coach?

[CareDream]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my ADHD 23kid, who is in 8th grade. Homework takes forever! We started using an executive functioning coach/tutor this year. I can't keep helicopter parenting him anymore. They help him plan each week and calendar when he's going to do his homework, and I'm available to help, but only if he proactively asks for my help, and I tell him that if he has incomplete assignments or a grade lower than a B, he can't have his phone or see his friends over the weekend. It's mostly working. He also has to see an after-school tutor if he gets a grade below a B in any class. It's kind of working.

Thank you for this. Can you recommend a source for hiring a good executive function coach?

We were fortunate to find an executive function coach through a neighbor of ours, his grandson works with her and they’ve all been very happy with the coach and the work they’re doing together.
Fast forward - this coach has been a game changer for us! She’s terrific! She works with both my kids now - separately and we’ve been very pleased with the progress we’re seeing. Her rates are also quite reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same story, but graduated from college a few years ago. I think dc ended up with 9 APs in hs. It was not pretty. Meds, therapy, extended time, EF coach, tutors. I think tutors are essential to keep kids on track. Also whiteboard with due dates for every assignment. It is a slog, and you need to stay on top of it. They just get overwhelmed and shut down.

Why force a kid like this to do 9 APs? 4 or 5 or even 6 APs is perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same story, but graduated from college a few years ago. I think dc ended up with 9 APs in hs. It was not pretty. Meds, therapy, extended time, EF coach, tutors. I think tutors are essential to keep kids on track. Also whiteboard with due dates for every assignment. It is a slog, and you need to stay on top of it. They just get overwhelmed and shut down.

Why force a kid like this to do 9 APs? 4 or 5 or even 6 APs is perfectly fine.

I did not force anything. It was dc’s choice, who applied and was accepted in the UK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My similar kid is now in college and doing really well. (its a small lower ranked LAC that is perfect for him).

What helped him was - staying in honors classes (regular classes were same in terms of missed assignments but the work was more boring so he didn't do it)

adderall in the morning so he was better at school and turned in work, etc - the meds were most important here

tutors that helped him study

extra time on tests.

+1 all of the above helped my 2e senior with ADHD (also in Catholic high school). DC only needed tutors in math though. I also enrolled DC in an EF skills boot camp prior to freshman year.

As homework ramped up junior year, we added a booster dose of meds at lunch. Also, starting in junior year, on Saturday mornings I sat down with DC to make sure DC has mapped out their homework/study plan for each day of the week. (DC also does a lot of ECs on top of an all honor class workload). As a senior DC can now do this mapping without me.

DC has gotten straight As in HS.

[Anonymous]

We started with meds and an EF coach after the diagnosis. Meds were useful, EF coach was not useful -- the pace of school was too fast already to try to learn a bunch of new skills that would help manage the exisiting work load. They were essentially teaching a process that would have been great to start in 5th grade, but not focusing on on the kid's actual current work.

So we got a 1:1 tutor to function as a study buddy. 2-3 check ins per week on what was covered in each class, how is note taking going, what is assigned for tomorrow and the rest of week, what is the status of long term projects, what is the status of graded work. They reviewed the on line portal together, which also helped us all figure out which teachers were not using it well, so they could create different strategies for staying on track in those classes. He also helped strategize on which assignements were most important based of grade value - start with those, in case you don't finish today. Weekly 1 hour tutoring on whatever subject was proving to be a struggle that week. Additional sessions as needed.

The biggest benefit of this tutoring realtionship was the weekly discussion of what was learned. Not only was the review useful for class ("tell me what you covered today?"), DS's confidence was raised by realizing how much he was learning and knew, even though it wasn't always reflected in the grades due to EF problems. They had some really wonderful intellectual discussions, and this also helped DS begin to know what he wanted to study in college.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I can give you a success story, there is hope! DS was in public in MS in all honors courses and grades were good but with a lot of hand holding from me and managing assignments and hw help. It was nightly, he hated it. He tried several meds in MS but never liked how they made him feel.

He dropped to all gen ed classes in 9th grade, his choice and became resistant to my assistance and grades tanked. He also became resistant to a tutor and it was a rough year, both academically and with behavior.

We switched to private school and he continued with a gen ed classes, no honors, his choice, and in 10th was back to open to help with putting organization systems in place, like he managed it but we would check in on what was due when in each class. Same for 11th but with much less support.

He managed senior year completely on his own. He needed help with college apps but not with any course work.

He could have taken AP or dual enrollment classes and considered it but didn’t want to risk it after 9th, since things were going so well now.

[Anonymous]

My kid is in public. ADHD and very bright. Took all the hardest classes. He had trouble keeping track of assignments. What helped the most was his IEP and a great special ed teacher who worked with him.

Since your school doesn't have this, you will either have to do it privately or switch to a different school.

I would hesitate to move him out of the harder classes if they are at the right level of challenge for him content wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in public. ADHD and very bright. Took all the hardest classes. He had trouble keeping track of assignments. What helped the most was his IEP and a great special ed teacher who worked with him.

Since your school doesn't have this, you will either have to do it privately or switch to a different school.

I would hesitate to move him out of the harder classes if they are at the right level of challenge for him content wise.

16:21 again to add the success story. Kid had some rough spots especially in middle school but is doing really really well now. Just got into top choice college (10% admission rate) and is a National Merit Semifinalist.

These kids can do great things when they are supported in the right way. My kid would have been bored and demoralized if we had made him take easier classes.

[Anonymous]

15:52 again and don’t want to make it a private vs public thing, but wanted to clarify one of the reasons DS never went back to honors was that when he switched to the private school in HS it was so much more rigorous. He found the general ed classes to be more rigorous and more intensive, especially with writing, than what he had in public. The structure was really good for him too. This helped a lot, with our fading support, which set him up for success to be independent by his senior year. He definitely needed more of the traditional curriculum and grading. It’s nothing against public, our other kid is doing well in it.

[Anonymous]

CareDream wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my ADHD 23kid, who is in 8th grade. Homework takes forever! We started using an executive functioning coach/tutor this year. I can't keep helicopter parenting him anymore. They help him plan each week and calendar when he's going to do his homework, and I'm available to help, but only if he proactively asks for my help, and I tell him that if he has incomplete assignments or a grade lower than a B, he can't have his phone or see his friends over the weekend. It's mostly working. He also has to see an after-school tutor if he gets a grade below a B in any class. It's kind of working.

Thank you for this. Can you recommend a source for hiring a good executive function coach?

We were fortunate to find an executive function coach through a neighbor of ours, his grandson works with her and they’ve all been very happy with the coach and the work they’re doing together.
Fast forward - this coach has been a game changer for us! She’s terrific! She works with both my kids now - separately and we’ve been very pleased with the progress we’re seeing. Her rates are also quite reasonable.

How often do your kids meet with the coach? We’re looking for someone to work with my daughter and heard this sites a good resource for these types of services. Thank you

[Anonymous]

My kids meet with her for an hour each week - 2-30 minute sessions. Her rates are very reasonable too esp compared to others I’ve come across. Hope this helps!