Another Facebook question -- for frequent users

[Anonymous]

I post songs, quotes from songs, links to songs. I'm 34, but I'm still into music!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of the dynamic of FB depends on how many friends you have and how active you and those friends are. If you only have a dozen friends, and they aren't very active, it inhibits the social networking purpose of FB. I'm not saying that people should gather up as many friends as possible, but I do think it's more fun when you have a couple hundred friends or so, as it enhances the idea of being connected because there are more people responding to posts.

I have the opposite impression. Only my real friends (not the "friend collectors") respond to my posts, and I only respond to the posts of people I really know. I have a few FB friends who have over 200 people on their list, and I generally don't bother with them. None of my real friends are friend collectors-- we're active, but selective.

If I did have hundreds of people seeing my posts including half my HS class, every admin I've ever worked with, etc, I probably wouldn't post at all.

[Anonymous]

You can't really judge someone just because they have a lot of Facebook friends. I have about 400 Facebook friends and I'm definitely not a friend collector, I just accept the friend requests of people that I know unless I have a good reason not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have the opposite impression. Only my real friends (not the "friend collectors") respond to my posts, and I only respond to the posts of people I really know. I have a few FB friends who have over 200 people on their list, and I generally don't bother with them. None of my real friends are friend collectors-- we're active, but selective.

If I did have hundreds of people seeing my posts including half my HS class, every admin I've ever worked with, etc, I probably wouldn't post at all.

I agree. I don't consider myself a "friend collector", but I rarely turned down a friend request. At first it was nice to get in touch with friends from school and old jobs, but the more friends I had, the less comfortable I felt sharing what's going on in my life. And the more friends I had, the more annoyed I found myself at the things in OP's list.

After getting caught in the middle of stupid high school-esque drama on FB, I deactivated my account last month. At first I thought I'd miss it, but let me say being off FB has been so liberating! I don't have people mad at me because I didn't comment on their photos. I don't have friends hassling me to support their Mary Kay endeavours. No more feeling bad because I didn't invite so-and-so to DH's birthday dinner. It all sounds so immature, but I know I'm not the only one who dealt with this nonsense. If and when I do return, my friends list is getting trimmed to about 30 people.

[Anonymous]

I have around 70 FB friends, but really wish I had the guts to trim it down to about 40. That would account for all the friends and family I actually interact with, and get rid of people I knew 15 years ago, people I met once and will likely never see again, etc. But a friend who shut down her account told me that at least three of her FB friends contacted her to complain about how their numbers went down when she did. Yes, actual grown-ups are paying attention to how many friends they have on FB... on a daily, on-going basis! I'm afraid someone would notice if I purged...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
--Posted a status update (not limited to mommy friends) involving potty training, poop, pee, vomit, diapers, etc.

Ugh, I'm with you on these. I think it helps that I wasn't on facebook until my kids' bodily functions were a little more in control, so I was never tempted to publicize news of these events. I get the need to commiserate with friends, but I think calling or emailing your best friend and complaining ("I can't believe baby pooped all over the car seat!") is a more dignified approach than sharing the news with your 200 facebook friends.

I don't really see the problem with this. A mom friend of mine from high school posted recently about wishing there was a potty-training school and like 10 of us chimed in. I haven't ever posted about something like this but is it any different than other mundane posts? It's what she is going through and on her mind, that is what FB is for. Really, if you are not interested in the mundane day-to-day than FB is not the place to go!

FWIW I have WAY less than 200 friends - I'm very selective in that I use FB for a specific purpose: catching up with old friends who I'm probably not going to call or email but enjoy catching small glimpses into their day/life and sometimes exchanging comments. I'm on maybe 3x a week and I rarely update my status, so I'm not included in OP's list, but I take FB for what it is and I've changed my settings accordingly. First lesson was to turn off the email notification so I wasn't emailed every time a friend of a friend happened to comment "cute picture!" Ugh.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe you should be into music, or vacation, or good food.... Does wonders for the soul. You sound terribly angry.

I know someone who positively rants about politics I care nothing about. Always a rant. Never just an opinion. Actually sounds psycho. Finally just blocked them. I would rather hear about lighter subjects, thanks.

If someone offends you that much, just block them and get it over with. If FB offends you that much, just drop your account. We can't all be you.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP sounds angry at all.

I blocked all the FB friends whose status updates were too frequent or otherwise annoyed me. This plan backfired when I started missing out on important news that I should have acknowledged, and it made me look like a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe you should be into music, or vacation, or good food.... Does wonders for the soul. You sound terribly angry.

I know someone who positively rants about politics I care nothing about. Always a rant. Never just an opinion. Actually sounds psycho. Finally just blocked them. I would rather hear about lighter subjects, thanks.

If someone offends you that much, just block them and get it over with. If FB offends you that much, just drop your account. We can't all be you.

OP here. Thanks for the different perspectives. On another note, I am constantly amazed by the ability of DCUM readers to perceive ANYTHING as negative or combative. I sound "terribly angry"? I am literally laughing right now that anyone could get that from my post. It must be difficult to go through life feeling like there is anger and negativity everywhere you look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP sounds angry at all.

I blocked all the FB friends whose status updates were too frequent or otherwise annoyed me. This plan backfired when I started missing out on important news that I should have acknowledged, and it made me look like a bitch.

Sorry, but if you are over the age of say 22, important news should not be sent only over Facebook. If people get annoyed with you it is their fault, not yours. How insulting. If someone wants to communicate with you, they need to be an adult and communicate. I would be pissed if someone close to me relied only on facebook to tell me about something important in their life. I feel obligated to check my email and cell phone every day but I don't feel an obligation to check FB but a few times a week, and usually then I just scan the news feed.

[Anonymous]

OK, so nobody has owned up to being the lovey-dovey-husband poster or the non-subtly-trying-to-seem-wealthy poster. I know you must be out there. Own up--why post this kind of stuff?

[Anonymous]

The lovey dovey husband posters and trying to convince themselves that it is really true.

[Anonymous]

Oops!

I meant, they ARE trying to convince themselves it is true, by posting it so often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oops!

I meant, they ARE trying to convince themselves it is true, by posting it so often.

I would have to agree with this. I am good friends with a couple who respond to each other's lovey dovey posts all the time. Like they are having a public conversation on ow in love they are. So irritating. If you were really that much in love, you would be spending time together rather than corresponding on two separate laptops in the same house. And this is a marriage that has had their share of issues (infidelity, recent separation) so we all know that things aren't as perfect as they would like it to seem.

[Anonymous]

We could also look at it from the other side. Maybe OP is so boring and bitter that she's just jealous of her friends who are sharing their happiness online. OP's life seems to be very boring not worth to share, maybe her child is so ugly what makes it harder to get nice pics and she's ashamed of posting the pics she takes often...
OP has no good memories from the past so no song appeals to her. There are no songs to remember happy moments in the past, etc, etc...

I tag songs using an app on my phone and it goes straight to FB I love it! I also share on a regular basis pics of funny license plates I see while driving.