Building relationships with teachers for college recommendations

[Anonymous]

Find out from counselor if there is a preferred time of year to ask for recs (at my school it’s junior year, but after spring break). So your student would say to the teacher (as semester is ending), I really enjoyed your class and although you won’t be teaching me next semester, would you mind if I came to talk to you at some point this spring about getting a recommendation letter? (This assuming the school asks students to wait til spring—but you definitely want the student to find out the process from the counselor first.) I am a teacher & we are used to having rec letter conversations with students and making them feel at ease during this chat. It doesn’t matter if the student is an extrovert, it’s still a situation where students feel nervous and uncertain and because we know this, we try to make that conversation meaningful and not scary. But the student must raise the topic— not a parent. Cute story: Earlier this year I sent a student directly from my class to talk to another teacher about a rec—she was intimidated and needed the extra push; she had been putting it off. I told her to take a friend along and have the friend wait out in the hallway (out of sight and not eavesdropping or anything) and she’d know her buddy was out there silently supporting her. This seems silly but the student said it really helped her get mentally ready to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this year he has two classes he really likes and participates a good amount - Forensic Science and AP Psych but he gets new teachers in both classes at the semester.

FWIW - he’s and A/B student and is not targeting highly selective schools.

LORs matter very little outside the T300ish. Encourage him to try to get to know one teacher well then move on.

Top 300? My son is not going for highly selective schools but certainly schools in the top 300.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this year he has two classes he really likes and participates a good amount - Forensic Science and AP Psych but he gets new teachers in both classes at the semester.

FWIW - he’s and A/B student and is not targeting highly selective schools.

AP Psych is one semester? Sounds like these are great classes for recs. Are all classes at this school one semester only? If so, all kids are in the same boat and teachers will be used to it.

Both classes are for the full year but they switch teachers at the semester.

Why do they switch teachers?

Don’t know - ask MCPS

[Anonymous]

I’ve written hundreds of letters of recommendation for kids like you describe. The vast majority of letters that I write don’t say anything unique or life-changing in them.

“this student was always polite, stayed on task, performed well.”

Every student like that I’ve written for has gotten into a college somewhere. I’m convinced the only purpose of a letter of recommendation is to prove to the admissions office that you weren’t a complete jerk who alienated every adult in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this year he has two classes he really likes and participates a good amount - Forensic Science and AP Psych but he gets new teachers in both classes at the semester.

FWIW - he’s and A/B student and is not targeting highly selective schools.

AP Psych is one semester? Sounds like these are great classes for recs. Are all classes at this school one semester only? If so, all kids are in the same boat and teachers will be used to it.

Both classes are for the full year but they switch teachers at the semester.

Why do they switch teachers?

Not the OP, but this is common in MCPS. It was also like this when I was a student in MCPS in the early 90s.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend he asks a teacher of a class he particularly enjoys and does well in. That is enough, they don't have to share hobbies and clubs.

My kids graduated this year in 2025 and they each asked a teacher who they genuinely admired. They got great recommendation letters, but I would add that these letters were mostly fairly general and standard letters of praise with only maybe a paragraph that seemed very specific to the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve written hundreds of letters of recommendation for kids like you describe. The vast majority of letters that I write don’t say anything unique or life-changing in them.

“this student was always polite, stayed on task, performed well.”

Every student like that I’ve written for has gotten into a college somewhere. I’m convinced the only purpose of a letter of recommendation is to prove to the admissions office that you weren’t a complete jerk who alienated every adult in your life.

Does any letter vary if the kid stands out?

[Anonymous]

Teachers are accustomed to having shy kids they barely recognize ask for recommendations. It’s no big deal. We make up a few generalizations about them & everybody moves on.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I’m used to students asking me for recommendations. I find a time to meet with each one. We talk about the course, what they are getting out of it, and what they want my letter to highlight.

I take notes and craft the letter based on my classroom observations and this conversation. This helps me write specific, targeted letters and it helps me know the quieter students a bit better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I’m used to students asking me for recommendations. I find a time to meet with each one. We talk about the course, what they are getting out of it, and what they want my letter to highlight.

I take notes and craft the letter based on my classroom observations and this conversation. This helps me write specific, targeted letters and it helps me know the quieter students a bit better.

This is what my introverted son's recommenders did. He also supplied a detailed brag sheet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are accustomed to having shy kids they barely recognize ask for recommendations. It’s no big deal. We make up a few generalizations about them & everybody moves on.

Yikes

[Anonymous]

Not everyone magically builds connection to teachers. My recommendation is to have him regularly go to office hours. The other option is to join a club that one of his teachers is the sponsor for. Both of these options will give him more FaceTime with the teacher outside of the actual class and help him feel more comfortable asking. If the teacher switches at the semester then he should continue to drop in at the former teacher office hours through the following semester to check in until he is ready to ask for a rec.