Is there a way to tactfully tell 17 year old DS that he needs to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

He knows. He doesn’t feel good about it. His doctor can discuss it with him. You can join a gym as a family, plan vacations with outdoor activities, buy healthy snacks and make sure he sees his doctor. If you attend part of the doctor appointment, tell the doctor that diabetes runs in the family and ask him to address it with you both so you “know how to protect your son’s health as a parent.”

[Anonymous]

Echoing stuff that's already been said here. Don't harp on his weight. Make sure that there's tons of healthy foods that are also filling. Get a gym membership or some other outlet for more physical activity. I have HS and college aged boys who had weight issues in early puberty. One lost the weight gradually and naturally; one got obsessed and required some intervention. You want the former not the latter, believe me.

[Anonymous]

You can’t do jack about it other than the limited time he is eating with you, you make good choices.

He knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, 17, has gained over 30 lbs in the past year. The main reason behind the weight gain ( besides eating more calories than he’s burning, obviously) is that he isn’t playing sports nearly as much as he did in years prior. He realized that he isn’t playing at a level that’ll get him recruited for college and has focused on other, non athletic extra curricular activities . He’s also taking on a very rigorous course load at school, so a lot of his time is spent sitting at a desk.
I am worried about the health ramifications as diabetes runs on both sides of our family.

Is there a tactful way to approach this topic with him?

TIA

NO

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you can tell him specifically, but you can make things at home more encouraging.

If you are bringing snacks or processed foods into the house, stop. Make it seem like “the family” needs to get more healthy, and then any food that’s happening at home can be aimed at healthy, more nutritious, and less fattening. Cut down on things that tend to be more nutritionally bankrupt. Up the salads and vegetables. Try to figure out what kind of snack foods that are healthy he might accept. That sounds dumb but at my house pickles are something crunchy that have flavor but aren’t high calorie. Cut down the takeout or food delivery.

If you have space for an exercise machine like a treadmill or whatever, do you think that’s something he would use?

[Anonymous]

He'll figure it out when and if he's ready.
My daughter slowly gained weight throughout high school. She was never obese but her BMI was in the lowest band of overweight.
When she was a senior in high school she decided that she was interested in losing weight and started an exercise program as well as some diet modifications (no eating after 8pm, smaller portions, etc) and she lost 20 pounds over the course of a year.

[Anonymous]

Can’t out run the fork. I assume you’re the one cooking so change what the family is eating. And take family walks. You do need to teach him how to be active without sports because he likely won’t have sports for the rest of his life. Walking, biking, running, playing tennis- whatever he’d like. What do you and dh do for exercise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, 17, has gained over 30 lbs in the past year. The main reason behind the weight gain ( besides eating more calories than he’s burning, obviously) is that he isn’t playing sports nearly as much as he did in years prior. He realized that he isn’t playing at a level that’ll get him recruited for college and has focused on other, non athletic extra curricular activities . He’s also taking on a very rigorous course load at school, so a lot of his time is spent sitting at a desk.
I am worried about the health ramifications as diabetes runs on both sides of our family.

Is there a tactful way to approach this topic with him?

TIA

Use the bolded part. No 17 year old should be gaining fat unless they have some genetic predisposition and something is awry. Most 17 year old boys can eat 5000 calories a day and still stay low bodyfat.

Cut out carbs, don't feed him pastas, breads, fruit juices, french fries, chips, desserts, sodas, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS, 17, has gained over 30 lbs in the past year. The main reason behind the weight gain ( besides eating more calories than he’s burning, obviously) is that he isn’t playing sports nearly as much as he did in years prior. He realized that he isn’t playing at a level that’ll get him recruited for college and has focused on other, non athletic extra curricular activities . He’s also taking on a very rigorous course load at school, so a lot of his time is spent sitting at a desk.
I am worried about the health ramifications as diabetes runs on both sides of our family.

Is there a tactful way to approach this topic with him?

TIA

Use the bolded part. No 17 year old should be gaining fat unless they have some genetic predisposition and something is awry. Most 17 year old boys can eat 5000 calories a day and still stay low bodyfat.

Cut out carbs, don't feed him pastas, breads, fruit juices, french fries, chips, desserts, sodas, etc.

Uh no. Not everyone is built the same way I’m the poster that kids decided to list later with friends. Unfortunately he has more of my genes and does not magically burn calories like that. This worked great when he was training hard year round and playing football. He ate a ton and put on muscle. Then he gained a lot of like 50+ pounds in a year. My kid is 6’1 and now healthy at around 200 lbs. eating right and working out. He was 250+ and not doing any activity at one point. But harping on him wouldn’t have helped.

Stopping organized sports was huge for him and we realized this. He had played something since preschool so it’s not that easy to just go running, biking or do it on his own. As I said, it took him a while and we were concerned but didn’t harp. Yes, we offered to pay for a gym membership when HE asked. No 17 yo wants to workout with the family.

Don’t discount the mental part of stopping something they did for so long. It just takes time. He’s not going to get diabetes tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I mean he gained 50 pounds when he stopped playing, stopped working out and ate so much food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS, 17, has gained over 30 lbs in the past year. The main reason behind the weight gain ( besides eating more calories than he’s burning, obviously) is that he isn’t playing sports nearly as much as he did in years prior. He realized that he isn’t playing at a level that’ll get him recruited for college and has focused on other, non athletic extra curricular activities . He’s also taking on a very rigorous course load at school, so a lot of his time is spent sitting at a desk.
I am worried about the health ramifications as diabetes runs on both sides of our family.

Is there a tactful way to approach this topic with him?

TIA

Use the bolded part. No 17 year old should be gaining fat unless they have some genetic predisposition and something is awry. Most 17 year old boys can eat 5000 calories a day and still stay low bodyfat.

Cut out carbs, don't feed him pastas, breads, fruit juices, french fries, chips, desserts, sodas, etc.

Uh no. Not everyone is built the same way I’m the poster that kids decided to list later with friends. Unfortunately he has more of my genes and does not magically burn calories like that. This worked great when he was training hard year round and playing football. He ate a ton and put on muscle. Then he gained a lot of like 50+ pounds in a year. My kid is 6’1 and now healthy at around 200 lbs. eating right and working out. He was 250+ and not doing any activity at one point. But harping on him wouldn’t have helped.

Stopping organized sports was huge for him and we realized this. He had played something since preschool so it’s not that easy to just go running, biking or do it on his own. As I said, it took him a while and we were concerned but didn’t harp. Yes, we offered to pay for a gym membership when HE asked. No 17 yo wants to workout with the family.

Don’t discount the mental part of stopping something they did for so long. It just takes time. He’s not going to get diabetes tomorrow.

As the PP mentioned.

[Anonymous]

You could say nothing because he already knows.

Or you could offer to take him to a nutritionist because they can work with him to figure out what he should be eating since he’s not doing sports anymore. They will meet him where he is. Losing weight can be hard and it’s hard to know where to start. A lotta mixed messages out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could say nothing because he already knows.

Or you could offer to take him to a nutritionist because they can work with him to figure out what he should be eating since he’s not doing sports anymore. They will meet him where he is. Losing weight can be hard and it’s hard to know where to start. A lotta mixed messages out there.

Or what NOT to eat. Carbs.

[Anonymous]

Did he start drinking beer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, 17, has gained over 30 lbs in the past year. The main reason behind the weight gain ( besides eating more calories than he’s burning, obviously) is that he isn’t playing sports nearly as much as he did in years prior. He realized that he isn’t playing at a level that’ll get him recruited for college and has focused on other, non athletic extra curricular activities . He’s also taking on a very rigorous course load at school, so a lot of his time is spent sitting at a desk.
I am worried about the health ramifications as diabetes runs on both sides of our family.

Is there a tactful way to approach this topic with him?

TIA

why do you have to be tactful? just tell him he is overweight and that you are worried.