DMV men on the apps. What's wrong with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty secure woman but I notice men in this area seem to have weird emotional instability especially the attractive ones. For example I use travel mode and few of the men in other states are rude or confrontational yet the ones in this area reek of insecurity and control. For ex some demand how I look without makeup glasses or contacts to see the natural me as their first message. Others send weird snarky emojis as their first message or go on about how they or their family are rich entrepreneurs in the area. Or say they date a lot of lawyer or doctors. It's so bizarre to disclose all that. The insecurity is crazy and only with DMV men. Wonder why.

This is rude, and I wouldn't respond.

But ... it's likely because they are tired of meeting people who look nothing like the pictures on the apps. This is a technique designed to get 1) a current picture, 2) a picture that isn't completely filtered + professional makeup. Women don't like it either when men show up 10 years older and 25 lbs heavier than their picture, oh, and the app pic had hair and the guy no longer does.

Then plan a first meeting that's quick and don't make a second date if you don't like them. Or do a video chat beforehand. But coming at everyone with suspicion ahead of time is not attractive, whether you're female or male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and also to add I wonder if this only happens to beautiful women because I noticed that I attract this type a lot. Either that or attractive men who are insecure are used to women chasing them and need that ego boost. When they're afraid of losing control is when they put down the woman.

Insecure men don't tend to get chased by women. Physically attractive or not. It takes a 9 to a 6.

[Anonymous]

All you can do is be the type of match you want - transparent. You can improve transparency by posting a cute photo of you without makeup or extremely low-makeup and caption it something about your "natural "face. You can also add the dates to your photos. That suggests you are serious about representing yourself accurately.

Also - all these men who are shocked.SHOCKED by a woman looking different without makeup on. Have they never dated/lived with a woman before? Why is this such a shock?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and also to add I wonder if this only happens to beautiful women because I noticed that I attract this type a lot. Either that or attractive men who are insecure are used to women chasing them and need that ego boost. When they're afraid of losing control is when they put down the woman.

Insecure men don't tend to get chased by women. Physically attractive or not. It takes a 9 to a 6.

My ex would get chased by women. When I met him he said he was used to women chasing him but he was deeply insecure but he was very attractive. I didn't chase him. I never chase men no matter how attractive they are. I always think a man should chase the woman because many men have deep-seated insecurities more so than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you can do is be the type of match you want - transparent. You can improve transparency by posting a cute photo of you without makeup or extremely low-makeup and caption it something about your "natural "face. You can also add the dates to your photos. That suggests you are serious about representing yourself accurately.

Also - all these men who are shocked.SHOCKED by a woman looking different without makeup on. Have they never dated/lived with a woman before? Why is this such a shock?

Thank you but I disagree. I think people should represent themselves how they normally would dress or wear their makeup. Transparency is showing the real you so you are showing the real you when you are are wearing what you wear everyday. A new. It's a problem with a guy if he is reactive to that or not. It shows you what type of person they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you can do is be the type of match you want - transparent. You can improve transparency by posting a cute photo of you without makeup or extremely low-makeup and caption it something about your "natural "face. You can also add the dates to your photos. That suggests you are serious about representing yourself accurately.

Also - all these men who are shocked.SHOCKED by a woman looking different without makeup on. Have they never dated/lived with a woman before? Why is this such a shock?

Thank you but I disagree. I think people should represent themselves how they normally would dress or wear their makeup. Transparency is showing the real you so you are showing the real you when you are are wearing what you wear everyday. A new. It's a problem with a guy if he is reactive to that or not. It shows you what type of person they are.

I'm not suggesting all your photos be makeup-free, just one. I agree that generally you should represent how you look when dating (which ideally should be your best possible appearance), but if you end up in a real relationship with someone, they are going to be spending plenty of time with you in your "natural" state, so I don't see how sharing a natural picture isn't "the real you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in an area where the men are pretty crazy as well (literally they will demand upfront I need to cook for them before we've even met).

It's a numbers game. I got super clear what I wanted and swiped through about 6000 men. Chatted with maybe 100-200 of those, had a handful of dates, finally met a really great guy I am absolutely crazy about and who adores me.

The trick I've found is weed them out early and move on quickly. I work for a sales company, and when it comes to sales, you go in knowing 99% of people aren't qualified, so you ruthlessly weed them out so they're not wasting time on your calendar. Then it's really just a matter of meeting up to see if you vibe.

I’m not in DMV and where I live the choices are likely much worse (not highly educated). But I am divorced and didn’t need to have a boyfriend. So I had standards and stuck to them. I chatted before dates and if there was any ambiguous player behavior I ignored. I was looking to see who made an effort. If that is your first criteria you will be ok on the apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound fat.

You sound like Trump.

[Anonymous]

I am in Midwest and men routinely asked me if I had a US citizenship (I have an accent), and if I'm a homeowner. I just do video interviews before giving my number to anyone, and block them if there were any stupid offensive questions of that sort, or too much interested in my finances/job. If they think all women with accent are gold diggers or trying to catfish them, they should date US born women their age and with the same level of language fluency and education and with the looks similar to their own. I am very cute and have an introduction video in a gym outfit without makeup, so I do get a lot of male interest. But quality is not quantity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and also to add I wonder if this only happens to beautiful women because I noticed that I attract this type a lot. Either that or attractive men who are insecure are used to women chasing them and need that ego boost. When they're afraid of losing control is when they put down the woman.

Insecure men don't tend to get chased by women. Physically attractive or not. It takes a 9 to a 6.

My ex would get chased by women. When I met him he said he was used to women chasing him but he was deeply insecure but he was very attractive. I didn't chase him. I never chase men no matter how attractive they are. I always think a man should chase the woman because many men have deep-seated insecurities more so than women.

Why do you think men should chase women? Could it be you still believe in patriarchial norms and traditions only when it suits you?