Travel anxiety help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about trying to figure out what you don't like and fix it? I used to hate airports and lines but having the lounges helps, so I pay for that.

Are you stressed about not getting stuff done before you leave? Make a list?

Carry photos of your pets?

What are some concrete things you can do to fix the things that don't work?

I make sure we don't make complicated plans if it can be helped though that's not aways possible: a direct flight and then rental car is my preferred way and I am less anxious when that's what we do. I'm "ok" about airports. I'm just stressed about leaving my home which feels really safe and being "in the world", the entire journey, potential plane delays and aggravations, other passengers... I realize it's not rational because I do leave my house most days, but I just don't like being out of my comfort zone anymore or being in a crowd. Public transportation feels hard and I dread it (not trains so much but subways, buses rarely come up), I can't stand Ubers or cabs. When possible I'd rather walk for many miles than do any of this. I feel like I've sort of banked decades of negative experiences of all kinds in my head and they've created a knot of worry and anticipation.

You can zero in on what is triggering the anxiety - for you it sounds like it is mostly transit-related discomforts and the general insecurity of leaving your home base. You could choose to focus on those things, but you can also identify why you ARE going where you're going and connect that to a value or priority in a way that works for you.

It is also perfectly fine for you to travel only in ways that you are comfortable with or skip the trip. I am a more flexible traveler than you, but I am also 44 years old and don't want to couch surf, take redeyes/Chinatown bus/etc., eat cheap anymore either. Sometimes you can't avoid things like connections, and some destinations make renting a car very unpleasant vs. using public transportation. If you don't want those things, you can just choose not to go to those places. Other people in your life will judge and then accommodate. It is fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the one that has to organize all the bookings, pack the luggage, find a petsitter, secure the house etc etc? It can be a lot of work and is stressful. I even get "packing dreams" where my clothes explode out of the suitcase or I'm still stuffing things in with the taxi waiting outside. Times when I'm traveling alone and someone is staying at home are less stressful because I don't have to organize petsitters, mail stops or worry whether I turned off appliances or locked things up.

Reading some of the other topics here such as the three days at Disneyworld one, planning for some of these vacations is like planning a military operation, so no wonder people are stressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Counseling. It's a very bad idea to try to acquire and consume prescription psychotropic medications on your own initiative, encouraged by strangers on the Internet. A professional might prescribe medication, or that might not be necessary - anxiety can be treated through a variety of mechanisms, including psychotherapy and lifestyle changes. There are different types/classes of medications which are sometimes prescribed for anxiety, one size does not fit all, e.g. antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers.

See a professional, don't rely on AI or anonymous forums for advice when it comes to mental (or any other kind of, for that matter) health.

Yes, and by that token, you should disregard the PP’s entire post.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP—I have travel anxiety too and here’s what helps me:

Traveling by car when possible since I feel a greater sense of control

Making sure I keep the small number of things I could not easily replace if lost/forgotten (like prescription meds, passport) close and telling myself it’s not a big deal if I forget things I can easily acquire when I land (toothbrush, etc).

Delegating things to my spouse in the process if I find they are heightening my anxiety (figuring out damn airport parking app etc).

Giving myself plenty of time when flying. Feeling rushed heightens anxiety for me.

Finally, taking beta blockers. These aren’t benzos and keep you in full control cognitively but prevent you from going into a full blown panick attack, and that was always one of my fears—that I’d pass out while walking my toddler through the security line or something.

Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the one that has to organize all the bookings, pack the luggage, find a petsitter, secure the house etc etc? It can be a lot of work and is stressful. I even get "packing dreams" where my clothes explode out of the suitcase or I'm still stuffing things in with the taxi waiting outside. Times when I'm traveling alone and someone is staying at home are less stressful because I don't have to organize petsitters, mail stops or worry whether I turned off appliances or locked things up.

Reading some of the other topics here such as the three days at Disneyworld one, planning for some of these vacations is like planning a military operation, so no wonder people are stressed.

I used to be. Now the only thing I do is the luggage and house intense cleaning, setting up for pet sitter, securing before the trip. As my anxiety got worse I'm actually not able to do any of the planning when it comes to flights. I will do hotels sometimes. I find hotel booking 100% fine if driving, but not flying. I get that it's not logical. It's like taking steps towards securing the trip details makes it real in all its horror for me. And it's easier for me to go to Utah or Colorado than it is going to a big city like NYC (which I have to go to sometimes) or to Europe (which I have to go to yearly). Some trips feel more relaxing and almost fun, but I think crowds, busy places are just very very hard for me though once there I do enjoy some aspects. And I don't really have a way to avoid these trips bc it's for family. For Europe I now avoid large cities as much as possible but I still have to fly into them and that's distressing.

[Anonymous]

I think getting some therapy for stress and anxiety would really be good for you.

I ALSO think that it would be wholly reasonable for you to skip as many trips as you can. You don’t have to go on the family vacations. Minimize it as much as possible to work and the family travel you really must do.

In general it is a bad idea to accomodate anxiety. But you don’t really seem anxious per se - you just really seem to dislike travel and it is stressing you out. You should definitely work with a therapist on addressing stress, but I think it would be totally valid for you to minimize the travel you dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the one that has to organize all the bookings, pack the luggage, find a petsitter, secure the house etc etc? It can be a lot of work and is stressful. I even get "packing dreams" where my clothes explode out of the suitcase or I'm still stuffing things in with the taxi waiting outside. Times when I'm traveling alone and someone is staying at home are less stressful because I don't have to organize petsitters, mail stops or worry whether I turned off appliances or locked things up.

Reading some of the other topics here such as the three days at Disneyworld one, planning for some of these vacations is like planning a military operation, so no wonder people are stressed.

I used to be. Now the only thing I do is the luggage and house intense cleaning, setting up for pet sitter, securing before the trip. As my anxiety got worse I'm actually not able to do any of the planning when it comes to flights. I will do hotels sometimes. I find hotel booking 100% fine if driving, but not flying. I get that it's not logical. It's like taking steps towards securing the trip details makes it real in all its horror for me. And it's easier for me to go to Utah or Colorado than it is going to a big city like NYC (which I have to go to sometimes) or to Europe (which I have to go to yearly). Some trips feel more relaxing and almost fun, but I think crowds, busy places are just very very hard for me though once there I do enjoy some aspects. And I don't really have a way to avoid these t inrips bc it's for family. For Europe I now avoid large cities as much as possible but I still have to fly into them and that's distressing.

I think you have a point about crowded places. I travelled in the "olden days" when the crowds weren't like today. I didn't have to book timed tickets or restaurants or trains or hotel rooms. Now it's like mounting an expedition, and then you get processed like cattle in pens. Like you, we head for the small towns seldom covered in guidebooks and avoid major cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think getting some therapy for stress and anxiety would really be good for you.

I ALSO think that it would be wholly reasonable for you to skip as many trips as you can. You don’t have to go on the family vacations. Minimize it as much as possible to work and the family travel you really must do.

In general it is a bad idea to accomodate anxiety. But you don’t really seem anxious per se - you just really seem to dislike travel and it is stressing you out. You should definitely work with a therapist on addressing stress, but I think it would be totally valid for you to minimize the travel you dislike.

Do you always need therapy just because something makes you anxious? I don't like heights so I don't go parachuting or rock climbing. I do like open water swimming and go in races in murky deep rough waters. That kind of swimming freaks out most people I meet including rock climbers, but they don't seek therapy. They just don't do it.

[Anonymous]

It’s possible that hypnotherapy geared to travel anxiety specifically could help you to reframe and refocus your thinking and help alleviate your anxiety. There are programs that you can download and use at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? Xanax. I take it once or twice a year, solely during long haul travel. It makes a big difference and I am not addicted, as some people here advise will happen!

same

I get the prescription and always carry it with me. I don’t end up taking it but I like knowing I have it.