Daughter has secret Instagram account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to block apps and specific websites with parental controls. And they will still probably log in and create one on a friend’s device. But at least they won’t be using it 24/7.

We already have 1 hour screen time limit for all apps together and phone handed in to us at 7pm.

Wait…your 14 year old has to turn her phone in at 7? No wonder she’s sneaking around.

DP. Honestly, I agree with this and I'm a parent who didn't allow Instagram until 15, so I also agree 14 too young. My 13 yo gets limited time on Snapchat and phone charged in my room at night. Pushing boundaries is very age appropriate for teens, but so are consequences if you get caught. Is this your oldest? You've got to weigh keeping her safe and what's important to her. From your OP, I feel a little like you're being strict to tell others how strict you are. 7 pm phone return for a freshman is nuts. Mine barely gets home before that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe better off to monitor her in secret

I agree with this.

+2

[Anonymous]

High school 14 or middle school 14? If high school, loosen up. Seriously. Most of my kids extracurriculars use Instagram. She is rebelling because you are too restrictive. If middle school my answer is a bit different.

[Anonymous]

Catfish her, trick her into sending semi nudes, and then drop the bomb on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High school 14 or middle school 14? If high school, loosen up. Seriously. Most of my kids extracurriculars use Instagram. She is rebelling because you are too restrictive. If middle school my answer is a bit different.

There's no meaningful difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High school 14 or middle school 14? If high school, loosen up. Seriously. Most of my kids extracurriculars use Instagram. She is rebelling because you are too restrictive. If middle school my answer is a bit different.

There's no meaningful difference.

I think there is. High school it’s very common for clubs and sports to use Instagram and kids who aren’t on miss things. Middle school it’s not yet the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to block apps and specific websites with parental controls. And they will still probably log in and create one on a friend’s device. But at least they won’t be using it 24/7.

We already have 1 hour screen time limit for all apps together and phone handed in to us at 7pm.

Wait…your 14 year old has to turn her phone in at 7? No wonder she’s sneaking around.

DP. Honestly, I agree with this and I'm a parent who didn't allow Instagram until 15, so I also agree 14 too young. My 13 yo gets limited time on Snapchat and phone charged in my room at night. Pushing boundaries is very age appropriate for teens, but so are consequences if you get caught. Is this your oldest? You've got to weigh keeping her safe and what's important to her. From your OP, I feel a little like you're being strict to tell others how strict you are. 7 pm phone return for a freshman is nuts. Mine barely gets home before that

Yes, this is my oldest. We've always had fights and problems based off screen time. We are worried she will get too addicted to her phone and we use screen time restriction as a way to keep her attitude in check. If she has bad attitude, we take away screen time (once she had only had 5 minutes per day for all apps in total) but if she has good attitude we give her more screen time. Usually we forget to take her phone at 7 but she has dowtime so she can't access any apps after 7pm until 7am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catfish her, trick her into sending semi nudes, and then drop the bomb on her.

She's actually fairly harmless on Instagram. Her dm's are just her sending reels to her friends or texting them.

[Anonymous]

It would probably be a lot safer for her to have an Instagram account with a few best friends from school.

I had the 1970s version of todays no screen parent. We didn't have a TV or radio, only one house phone in the kitchen. Am I any better off than peers who watched TV and listened to music and talked to their friends in their room - no! At the time my parents thought the same as todays no screen parents and waged many battles to keep us way from the tech they thought was so harmful.

[Anonymous]

The essential question not yet asked:What is she posting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delete her account, delete Instagram and take her phone. She has proven she is not mature enough to have one.

I think she proved that her parents are immature and naive. The kid clearly knows how to do this. Just because she's breaking a family rule doesn't make her immature- she doesn't think the rule is reasonable. And it isn’t. This is why. Parents- learn how to parent in the age of technology. Banning it isn't teaching how to live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catfish her, trick her into sending semi nudes, and then drop the bomb on her.

Good lord. This shows how the adults in ths room need supervision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah good luck.
Your child is going to find a way to access IG.

This. Parents here need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High school 14 or middle school 14? If high school, loosen up. Seriously. Most of my kids extracurriculars use Instagram. She is rebelling because you are too restrictive. If middle school my answer is a bit different.

There's no meaningful difference.

I think there is. High school it’s very common for clubs and sports to use Instagram and kids who aren’t on miss things. Middle school it’s not yet the norm.

If a club is doing that, report it to the principal. That's a violation of policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catfish her, trick her into sending semi nudes, and then drop the bomb on her.

She's actually fairly harmless on Instagram. Her dm's are just her sending reels to her friends or texting them.

That's because the predators haven't found her yet.