What kind of relationship expectations do you have when you are 40-60?

[Anonymous]

I like to think I wouldn't remarry, but gosh darn it I really like having a man around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People say this on DCUM but I don't know of anyone in this type of relationship long term. They are either living together or married. I'm talking about people in that age group on their second marriage. I don't know anyone who is getting married for the first time at that age. I'm in NW DC and have friends in similar areas like CC, SS.

I’m in DC and also don’t see it at all. Most live together or remarry. I tried to have a similar setup in my 40s - men eventually stray away of you don’t live/have sex regularly. Just drifted apart and the relationships died off

Drifting is far easier to deal with than a second divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People say this on DCUM but I don't know of anyone in this type of relationship long term. They are either living together or married. I'm talking about people in that age group on their second marriage. I don't know anyone who is getting married for the first time at that age. I'm in NW DC and have friends in similar areas like CC, SS.

I’m in DC and also don’t see it at all. Most live together or remarry. I tried to have a similar setup in my 40s - men eventually stray away of you don’t live/have sex regularly. Just drifted apart and the relationships died off

Drifting is far easier to deal with than a second divorce.

And that's okay, just stop pretending these "together apart" arrangements are stable and truly happy for many years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect her to be able to pay for herself.

We are happy to as long as the man is great looking sexy and younger than our age.

Fair enough. I guess then I’m only paying if she’s great looking, sexy and younger than me.

[Anonymous]

Sex and companionship. Friendship and kindness while together.

No commitment, no “I love yous,” no living together, no marriage, no kids. No promises.

No phone calls or texting in between dates.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex and companionship. Friendship and kindness while together.

No commitment, no “I love yous,” no living together, no marriage, no kids. No promises.

No phone calls or texting in between dates.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

I only see sex here, zero friendship or companionship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if you've never been married or are divorced or widowed? I keep seeing people, especially divorced women, say they would never marry again on this board but IRL I know a number of people this age who got married or remarried. If you are not marrying or interested, what does the relationship look like? Do you live with your partner? Do you see each other daily?

Marriage is an outdated concept in general, talking about the "legal" document and government intervention in marriage, not the personal part of it.

People should get government out of the marriage business, and quit recognizing "legal marriage" and simply be married couples same as BF/GF, lifetime partner, etc. whatever you want to call it.

You don't need a government document to be faithful and loving to a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect her to be able to pay for herself.

We are happy to as long as the man is great looking sexy and younger than our age.

Fair enough. I guess then I’m only paying if she’s great looking, sexy and younger than me.

It’s usually the case for me as a woman, so men always pay for dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if you've never been married or are divorced or widowed? I keep seeing people, especially divorced women, say they would never marry again on this board but IRL I know a number of people this age who got married or remarried. If you are not marrying or interested, what does the relationship look like? Do you live with your partner? Do you see each other daily?

Marriage is an outdated concept in general, talking about the "legal" document and government intervention in marriage, not the personal part of it.

People should get government out of the marriage business, and quit recognizing "legal marriage" and simply be married couples same as BF/GF, lifetime partner, etc. whatever you want to call it.

You don't need a government document to be faithful and loving to a spouse.

Women won’t birth kids in this set up. As marriage gives the primary parent a guaranteed assets and retirement claim for set backs in career

Later in life maybe.. but if the man is older (which is usually the case), the younger woman becomes a caretaker to him. No woman would stick around long term in that without joint assets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 39/43 and both divorced with two kids each.

We each have our own house and kid time 50%. We aligned our parenting schedules and stay together the other 50% of the time when we don't have our kids.

Eventually we are going to get a shared pied-à-terre in the city (we're each in different burbs now) and a lake house. Unsure if we'll ever get married. He'd really like to, I'm pretty indifferent.

You mean a shag shack.

Yep, happily!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect her to be able to pay for herself.

We are happy to as long as the man is great looking sexy and younger than our age.

Fair enough. I guess then I’m only paying if she’s great looking, sexy and younger than me.

It’s usually the case for me as a woman, so men always pay for dates.

Truth. I never paid for a date. What’s the point in dating if you have to pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex and companionship. Friendship and kindness while together.

No commitment, no “I love yous,” no living together, no marriage, no kids. No promises.

No phone calls or texting in between dates.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

This is the way. One of these in the city for workweek stuff, one for weekends, one or two for domestic getaways, and a few for international.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex and companionship. Friendship and kindness while together.

No commitment, no “I love yous,” no living together, no marriage, no kids. No promises.

No phone calls or texting in between dates.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

This is the way. One of these in the city for workweek stuff, one for weekends, one or two for domestic getaways, and a few for international.

It would be way easier for a woman to collect men like that, as few men can afford collecting women offering them all these things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it matter if you've never been married or are divorced or widowed? I keep seeing people, especially divorced women, say they would never marry again on this board but IRL I know a number of people this age who got married or remarried. If you are not marrying or interested, what does the relationship look like? Do you live with your partner? Do you see each other daily?

Marriage is an outdated concept in general, talking about the "legal" document and government intervention in marriage, not the personal part of it.

People should get government out of the marriage business, and quit recognizing "legal marriage" and simply be married couples same as BF/GF, lifetime partner, etc. whatever you want to call it.

You don't need a government document to be faithful and loving to a spouse.

This can never happen until we have universal healthcare and women are guaranteed all the same legal protections as men.

[Anonymous]

I am 61. We have separate places, but at times we practically live at my place. We spend holidays together, and see each other when our work schedules allow. His kid is grown and living out of state and I am childfree.