What kind of relationship expectations do you have when you are 40-60?
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Anonymous
| Does it matter if you've never been married or are divorced or widowed? I keep seeing people, especially divorced women, say they would never marry again on this board but IRL I know a number of people this age who got married or remarried. If you are not marrying or interested, what does the relationship look like? Do you live with your partner? Do you see each other daily? |
Anonymous
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It’s still lovely. We have our own homes and kids (his kids are much older than mine; a few years from a total empty nest). He still does family stuff with me and my kids too (like pumpkin patches) and we also have solo/adult only dates.
When we don’t have our kids we have sleepovers. When I need help in an emergency he is always there. But we also have our space. And we take trips together. It takes planning but it’s fun. Of course I miss him but we also keep the mystery alive. I wouldn’t change it and I’m thankful for him. |
Anonymous
This is the standard, IMO. Each person keeps their own home, and you have sleepovers whenever no kids are around. I really prefer to live alone now, but have fun dates to look forward to when I have free time. |
Anonymous
| Ideally I would like to marry at some point, but the older I get, the less necessary it seems. Sharing a home would be nice, but it might be easiest to keep it in one person's name. I have a child and assets, so prenups on both sides would be good. Ideally we do stuff a couple/few nights a week, maybe a solo night out, a night with friends, and a chill night in. My current BF gets along with my daughter, and I would want that to be the case with anyone I date. |
Anonymous
| Permanent boyfriend desired. No cohabitation or marriage ever again. |
Anonymous
This sounds ideal! |
Anonymous
Same |
Anonymous
I’m the PP who described my relationship and I wanted to say thank you. I am thankful. I hope everyone finds that second partner in life. It’s special (though the sting from the loss of the first one never goes away even when ending it was 100% the right call). But that’s ok because we are honest. Wishing warmth for you all ❤️. |
Anonymous
| Long-term boyfriend, no marriage, no cohabitation (at least not more than 50% of the time), he puts me first (after kids is ok), we bring out the best in each other, are playful and have tons of fun, and are there for each other through rough times. Someone who is committed to my happiness and wellbeing and vice versa. |
Anonymous
| People say this on DCUM but I don't know of anyone in this type of relationship long term. They are either living together or married. I'm talking about people in that age group on their second marriage. I don't know anyone who is getting married for the first time at that age. I'm in NW DC and have friends in similar areas like CC, SS. |
Anonymous
I’m in DC and also don’t see it at all. Most live together or remarry. I tried to have a similar setup in my 40s - men eventually stray away of you don’t live/have sex regularly. Just drifted apart and the relationships died off |
Anonymous
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We are 39/43 and both divorced with two kids each.
We each have our own house and kid time 50%. We aligned our parenting schedules and stay together the other 50% of the time when we don't have our kids. Eventually we are going to get a shared pied-à-terre in the city (we're each in different burbs now) and a lake house. Unsure if we'll ever get married. He'd really like to, I'm pretty indifferent. |
Anonymous
| I expect her to be able to pay for herself. |
Anonymous
You mean a shag shack. |
Anonymous
We are happy to as long as the man is great looking sexy and younger than our age. |