Would you allow your child to marry or date outside your culture or religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drove a carpool recently and one of the teens remarked on who his parents would allow him to marry. Others agreed. At least one set of the parents is second Gen, born and raised here. It was a little surprising to me how strict some parents in the DMV are in 2025.

Anyone else encounter this?

Indian?

My first thought.

[Anonymous]

I'm Indian and married outside of my culture and religion, so of course I'd be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

It's not my choice to make. My ILs tried to pull that crap when DH and I were dating. It was not only stupid and pointless, it soured my relationship with them forever. I'm cordial to them, but as cold as ice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be friends with people who are racist, so this wouldn't be coming up in a carpool.

You have no idea how 'racist' some groups of immigrants are, it would blow your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drove a carpool recently and one of the teens remarked on who his parents would allow him to marry. Others agreed. At least one set of the parents is second Gen, born and raised here. It was a little surprising to me how strict some parents in the DMV are in 2025.

Anyone else encounter this?

Indian?

JD Vance's wife seems fine with it. Kamala Harris' mom dealt with it as well.

[Anonymous]

"allow" is probably not the right word. they will marry the person they love regardless of their race/culture

- korean

[Anonymous]

I married into a religious family as a non-practicing person. It caused issues for many years. In the end I wouldn’t encourage it but also wouldn’t vocally discourage it as it’s not my decision to make. It

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drove a carpool recently and one of the teens remarked on who his parents would allow him to marry. Others agreed. At least one set of the parents is second Gen, born and raised here. It was a little surprising to me how strict some parents in the DMV are in 2025.

Anyone else encounter this?

Indian?

JD Vance's wife seems fine with it. Kamala Harris' mom dealt with it as well.

Mamdani's mom did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian and married outside of my culture and religion, so of course I'd be fine with it.

How common would you say this is (that marrying outside your culture and religion is enthusiastically blessed, not discouraged at all) and I'm interested to know, if there are regional differences (between different states in India)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drove a carpool recently and one of the teens remarked on who his parents would allow him to marry. Others agreed. At least one set of the parents is second Gen, born and raised here. It was a little surprising to me how strict some parents in the DMV are in 2025.

Anyone else encounter this?

Indian?

JD Vance's wife seems fine with it. Kamala Harris' mom dealt with it as well.

There is also a huge thirst for success and status culturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly, none of you have/had first generation immigrant parents. The pressure was real in my house. Now, my parents couldn’t force me to marry within my religion bc of my age, but I did bc I wanted to and I found the right guy. 25 years and counting….

If your strong in your religion or care how your (eventual) kids are raised, it can very much matter. That doesn’t make anyone a racist.

+1. I'm a first gen ABC and 100% agree with this post.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't surprise me. Majority of Asian families are vocal about this. Hispanic and Filipino Catholics are too. I personally wouldn't want my children to marry in to those cultures if they weren't our own because the expectations are so high and so different. It's not a good match unless the person is trying to leave their roots and then you have to hope they know how to handle their own baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drove a carpool recently and one of the teens remarked on who his parents would allow him to marry. Others agreed. At least one set of the parents is second Gen, born and raised here. It was a little surprising to me how strict some parents in the DMV are in 2025.

Anyone else encounter this?

Not surprised one bit. The bigger question is how strong the parents' influence is over their child, and if that differs by culture, background, and religion. I would say, yes.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with dating or marrying outside one's religion...but would have a problem if future spouse expects my kid and grandkids to join any strict religion.

I am Christian, but would not want my kid marrying an Evangelical as an example, just as much as I would not want them marrying an Orthodox Jew or strict Muslim...or a practicing Wiccan for that matter.

[Anonymous]

One of the biggest struggles I've seen was when a first gen kid married a person nominally of their culture and religion, but the person was a recent immigrant and was much more modern about it. The parents had kind of kept their culture of origin the same, like it was at their time of immigration in the 1970s, and much of their peer group had too. But the place of origin itself had not stayed the same, so the new wife wasn't doing their version of the culture. Very weird dynamic because they thought it would work well but it really didn't.