When you need to get more involved in HW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9th grade. Unless some 8th grade scores carry over, and some do, I wouldn’t stress until high school. Then, the battle is on.

He is in 2 high school credit classes but grades don't carry over. Isn't this the year to pull it together? I feel like if we don't next year will be stressful

It would be better if he developed the skills now, but lots of kids go into HS still needing to learn.

I can’t tell from your post whether the issue is executive functioning or academic struggles. If it’s the latter, then a tutor is the answer.

For the EF piece, I had to work with my son to develop his own strategies. That involved me being able to specifically identify the breakdowns. Once he agreed with my observations, then I made sure he had everything he needed - which usually involved an expensive trip to Staples. I didn’t assist in identifying or selecting what was purchased. But I did expect it to be used so I would ask him to articulate how he planned to use what he was buying (well, what I was buying) and how it would help with his success. That was surprisingly successful.

Another issue was time management and finally in college he’s getting that down. Same strategy - identifying the issues, getting agreement on the problem and letting him develop the plan. For awhile that involved all school work being done at 5 am and, if possible, while walking on a treadmill (obviously not all work is amenable to that).

We also allowed him to choose where he would do his work (and still do - he lives at home while going to school). Right now he sits at the kitchen counter using noise canceling headphones. The rest of us work around that - we’re all committed to his success and it’s not that big of an inconvenience most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Op, I could have written your post, except my son is in 7th grade, at a private school, and doesn’t have any diagnosed special needs (though we may evaluate him this year for adhd). We are weekly getting notices from the school that our son has failed a quiz, missed handing in assignments, etc. looks like he’ll be getting Ds in all subjects except the one or two that he loves if he doesn’t shape up. Honestly I’m hoping he gets all ds so he is motivated to shape up. That said, we started doing exactly what you’re doing op. I now work with him on all of the writing assignments for English and social studies. My husband does language. He’s fine with math and science. It was shocking how bad his understanding of how to write a sentence/ short essay is. Like, there’s no organizational structure, and the sentences are often written like he’s speaking to the reader. But fortunately he has been very open to my help. We go over what’s a topic sentence, the structure of the paragraph generally and I help him brainstorm each and every sentence. We work on every single sentence together. Goodness it’s a painful process (for me) but I’m hoping this is a temporary fix until he gets it. Apparently the second issue is that none of this is getting through to him in the classroom setting. Everything that I’m doing with him I’m sure the teacher has taught, but just hasn’t sunk in, in class. That’s where the adhd component may be the missing piece.

[Anonymous]

I’m the pp from the last post. The other component we’re dealing with is executive functioning. For example I just got a notice that he got a 43% on a quiz that covered two major topics. I asked my son about it and he said well, yeah, the teacher never game him the material for one of the two topics so he couldn’t study. My son saw absolutely no issue with this — it was the teacher’s fault in his mind. After holding my breath so I didn’t explode at him, we had to have a long talk about taking responsibility and getting organized well before the day of the quiz to identify any problems. This seemed obvious to me, but to him it was not.

[Anonymous]

Op — can u tell us how your son was dx with dysgraphia? Where? When?