Knowing work colleague makes higher salary and is younger than you

[Anonymous]

Doesn't annoy me at all. I still make a good living and when I chose to SAH for a few years, I knew exactly what that would do to me career wise. Are there times when I think the extra income would be nice? Sure. And if I never stayed at home I'm sure there would be times I wished I had. Having regrets or anger about choices we made in the past are useless emotions.

[Anonymous]

Does she work in a revenue generating role? I know budget teams are often seen as cost center.

[Anonymous]

Ok but does she have kids? No, then what's the big deal...if you have three kids what and why are you comparing your life to hers. This is just silly.

[Anonymous]

Are you in different roles/teams? Because teams at my company have wildly different pay scales. So a director/VP in one org might make double than a director/VP in another.

[Anonymous]

I get where you’re coming from op. It’s not rational. I feel it too, every single time I log onto linked in and see my peers successes as partners, business leaders etc. I get intense fomo EVERY TIME I scroll through, even though I objectively have a good job with meaningful balance that others may covet for themselves , and even though I very much chose not to pursue the big leadership track (and frankly probably wouldn’t have succeeded at a leadership role even without kids). I think it’s just wistful fomo, maybe regretting that you couldn’t have it all and/ or weren’t driven the way your peers were. I don’t know…. If you find out how to get out of this negative loop, let us know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also mommy-tracked myself. I believe I will be happier in the long run.

Everything I've read suggests that family is the right emotional choice in the long run. Unless you're a fairly emotionless, materialistic person.

I am sorry I didn't fulfill my potential to rise levels. But I gave it up to ensure financial stability and pleasant living circumstances while my kids were growing up. Ambition involves taking career risk. I am responsible for 60% of my family's HHI.

Looking back, I realize I did make choices with knowledge of the consequences and I need to continue to be confident in my decision. I was laid off right after maternity leave with DC#2 and that was a setback I have never recovered from. I always remember that your kids love you but your employer doesn't really care. Almost all of us are replaceable within a short period of time.

Wait, does the ambition/emotionless thing apply to men, too?

IMO, if you choose to have kids, at least one parent needs to be committed to being around for family---you both shouldnt' have high powered careers where you are not around for the kids/constantly traveling. Sure you can hire nannies, but why have kids if you are never around?

[Anonymous]

Op - yes she has kids too.

I think it’s FOMO because I have a terminal degree that I don’t actual use much of.

My husband is in big law. He is the definition of putting his degree to use and achieving his career goals.

My job is secondary and has never been seen of as more than a means to get good health insurance.

[Anonymous]

Good health insurance is important too think about the incremental value add the extra money would have been and the trade offs for your family. Providing stability and parenting is equally important. I just that our society doesn’t value it as much.

[Anonymous]

i am 40 at least 5-10 years younger than all my collegtaues and manage about 15 people, most are older and i make 400k and they make 150-200k

[Anonymous]

You just said she has more responsibilities than you. Perhaps 150k more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also mommy-tracked myself. I believe I will be happier in the long run.

Everything I've read suggests that family is the right emotional choice in the long run. Unless you're a fairly emotionless, materialistic person.

I am sorry I didn't fulfill my potential to rise levels. But I gave it up to ensure financial stability and pleasant living circumstances while my kids were growing up. Ambition involves taking career risk. I am responsible for 60% of my family's HHI.

Looking back, I realize I did make choices with knowledge of the consequences and I need to continue to be confident in my decision. I was laid off right after maternity leave with DC#2 and that was a setback I have never recovered from. I always remember that your kids love you but your employer doesn't really care. Almost all of us are replaceable within a short period of time.

Wait, does the ambition/emotionless thing apply to men, too?

PP. Yes it does apply to men. Look at books about the elderly and what their sources of happiness and regrets are.

High-status corporate men are not immune to figuring out that they are rich nobodies after they retire. And that they prioritized the wrong things.

There are a lot of ways to handle raising children but if you are not present and emotionally connected during the 0-12th grade years, it's not going to change in later life.

I had a male executive boss who told me that his male mentor said: "The impact of any of us leaving the (F500) company is like pulling your hand out of a bucket of water".

As social roles change, it's more okay for men to admit to themselves what they might have waited until retirement to decide in the past.

Only some people agree with "He who dies with the most toys, wins".

[Anonymous]

Im 40 and manage a team of 6, 3 of whom are late 40s/50s. I used to feel weird giving them annual reviews and knowing they make a lot less than me, and have kids in college while mine are in elementary. But I'm good at my job. And I actually don't think I'll keep working in the role forever, I can see a future in 10 years when I step back and am being managed by a 35 year old. Its all about your path and your balance. Its nit a comparison.

[Anonymous]

My company has now found it fashionable to promote women and pay them more for similar job held by men..in fact the company brags about it.

[Anonymous]

It does not bother me 1 second. I just care about the paycheck. If you pay me what I feel is fair, have a 21 years old manage me (I am 48) and I'll be fine with it. I don't go to work to make friends..I go to work to make money and GTFO. I don't make work my existence..some people unfortunately have their entire existence tied to their job/career etc.

[Anonymous]

No regrets about working PT when kids younger. Yes, it factored into career progression, but absolutely no regrets.