12 yo HFA doesn't want to text or be on group chats. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your 12 year olds really all have phones? My son is 11 and I cannot imagine him being mature enough for that technology in a year.

Yes, most 12 year olds have phones. Do not push the group chats. There is plenty of time for that.

Those early group chats are overwhelming as many don’t understand texting social skills and a lot of parents don’t monitor anything. In 6th-8th grade, massive group chats happened with both my son and daughter. There was always some kid who would blast the group repeatedly and then get kicked out or worse, FaceTime everyone on it repeatedly. Even if they are just texting, the constant messages can be overwhelming.

This was all too much for my son with ADHD. He was the annoying one a couple of times and needed more monitoring from us. Early on he learned to remove himself from these chats because he started to hate them.

My daughter loved the social aspect of them and didn’t have these issues. We still had to monitor because the texts would never stop and come in 24/7.

It all settles down as the phones aren’t new anymore and kids get used to having them. But then you are into social media and how to handle all that, which is different for every kid as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Adding to above, my son is a senior now and socially fine. He has a few friends who he texts with or uses whatever app they are using.

He’s very ty different than my social butterfly daughter who is still communicating with lots of people at all times.

I’d encourage your kid to reach out to friends individually and avoid the group chats.