Teacher just called us at home - kid is too social in class

[Anonymous]

What does his IEP address if not behavior like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to cut it out or he’ll be disciplined by you.

Why does everything have to be medication, accommodations, etc? Just tell him to stop that behavior, it’s not fair to the teacher, it’s not fair to his fellow students. Tell him you do not want to hear from the teacher again, unless it’s good news.

PARENT YOUR KIDS.

I'm the OP. I do parent my child, hence our discussion about the phone call and subsequent steps to deal with the issue.
Are you familiar with ADHD? This isn't about lack of parenting. It's about how to address lack of focus and hyperactivity. This isn't 1950s Catholic school where a nun would rap on your knuckles to keep a kid in line... which worked oh so well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to cut it out or he’ll be disciplined by you.

Why does everything have to be medication, accommodations, etc? Just tell him to stop that behavior, it’s not fair to the teacher, it’s not fair to his fellow students. Tell him you do not want to hear from the teacher again, unless it’s good news.

PARENT YOUR KIDS.

I'm the OP. I do parent my child, hence our discussion about the phone call and subsequent steps to deal with the issue.
Are you familiar with ADHD? This isn't about lack of parenting. It's about how to address lack of focus and hyperactivity. This isn't 1950s Catholic school where a nun would rap on your knuckles to keep a kid in line... which worked oh so well.

ADHD certainly existed 30 years ago when I was in high school and back then kids did not behave like they do today. I agree that there is lack of focus and impulse control that is harder for him than others AND he also needs to practice focusing and he needs a reason to stop blurting out. A lot of teachers spend half a class period trying to manage the talkers so they can actually teach. Give him tools—fidgets, gum, whatever. And practice with him at home. Family meditation time, quiet forest walks, whatever. And believe or or not, even kids with neurodivergence will change if there’s a logical consequence involved that is applied consistently and clearly. There’s a big range between absolutely nothing and physical punishment. I work in ES and assure you that ADHD kids facing a big reward can absolutely keep quiet for longer periods of time. If they are physically and mentally capable when promised a popsicle then they are physically and mentally capable when there’s no carrot in front of them. It is harder, yes, of course; some kids are born to focus. But they have to work harder and you need to hold them to high expectations so that they can succeed in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's favorite teacher (science!) said she really enjoys working with him because he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early and that the classroom dynamic is full of kids who are all friends. He had been on adhd medication but it made him very sick to his stomach. Just brought this up to DS and he denies that he does this behavior. Is next stop with his pedi again? He reacted terribly to adhd meds before, so I'm not sure the best next step.

Skip the drugs.
Teach him to meditate and calm himself on command.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early...

Classic classroom dynamic. Behavior of the kid with ADHD makes it harder for the other kids, especially those with ADHD. I like your kid's teacher. She is faced with a dilemma and she's staying positive and looking for solutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early...

Classic classroom dynamic. Behavior of the kid with ADHD makes it harder for the other kids, especially those with ADHD. I like your kid's teacher. She is faced with a dilemma and she's staying positive and looking for solutions.

PP again. Hit submit too soon. So you're working with a good teacher and that makes it easier. In the teen years as hormones fluctuate and kids grow. They might have a different reaction to meds than they did the year before. It can help to go back and re-try meds that didn't work last time, or find a doctor with ideas for a new med you haven't tried yet.

[Anonymous]

Has your kid ever been privately tested for dyslexia? Dyslexic kids tend to be highly social. I am not sure if that is cause or correlation. If this is public school, the teachers will be hiding the dyslexia because the tutoring is so expensive for the school district. You would need the eval to be private in order to find the dyslexia.

[Anonymous]

If he is finishing early- AND the work is good- ask about extension activities, or to see if he should move up a level (if they offer honors).
-former bio teacher turned AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's favorite teacher (science!) said she really enjoys working with him because he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early and that the classroom dynamic is full of kids who are all friends. He had been on adhd medication but it made him very sick to his stomach. Just brought this up to DS and he denies that he does this behavior. Is next stop with his pedi again? He reacted terribly to adhd meds before, so I'm not sure the best next step.

No, the next stop is a firm disciplinary talk from mom and dad that he'd better straighten himself out and that you do not want to get a report like this again.

Why in the world would you jump to medication for a lack of discipline problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to cut it out or he’ll be disciplined by you.

Why does everything have to be medication, accommodations, etc? Just tell him to stop that behavior, it’s not fair to the teacher, it’s not fair to his fellow students. Tell him you do not want to hear from the teacher again, unless it’s good news.

PARENT YOUR KIDS.

+1000. Your kid is a problem, OP. This is not something you just drug away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's favorite teacher (science!) said she really enjoys working with him because he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early and that the classroom dynamic is full of kids who are all friends. He had been on adhd medication but it made him very sick to his stomach. Just brought this up to DS and he denies that he does this behavior. Is next stop with his pedi again? He reacted terribly to adhd meds before, so I'm not sure the best next step.

No, the next stop is a firm disciplinary talk from mom and dad that he'd better straighten himself out and that you do not want to get a report like this again.

Why in the world would you jump to medication for a lack of discipline problem?

I think there's a big pharma shill on here always pushing pharma drugs. Perhaps could be a local shrink also pushing that angle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's favorite teacher (science!) said she really enjoys working with him because he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early and that the classroom dynamic is full of kids who are all friends. He had been on adhd medication but it made him very sick to his stomach. Just brought this up to DS and he denies that he does this behavior. Is next stop with his pedi again? He reacted terribly to adhd meds before, so I'm not sure the best next step.

No, the next stop is a firm disciplinary talk from mom and dad that he'd better straighten himself out and that you do not want to get a report like this again.

Why in the world would you jump to medication for a lack of discipline problem?

I think there's a big pharma shill on here always pushing pharma drugs. Perhaps could be a local shrink also pushing that angle.

It’s also a lot easier to drug your kid than be the grown-up in the room.

[Anonymous]

She was totally sugar coating it. Teachers don't call when the problem is small or even medium. He's a BIG problem. He may also be a great kid, ADHD is not a personality issue. You need to treat this like an emergency. Other teachers are probably annoyed at him and kids will eventually tire of him.

[Anonymous]

Do not jump to meds over one phone call when they made him sick. I’m a HS teacher and I have a kid with ADHD so I have a lot of experience here. Meds are not a magic cure.

He needs to strategies to help manage his ADHD, which he will have for life. He will grow and mature and it may get easier but he can put some things in place, with your help and the help of his teachers.

We all know the IEP isn’t the perfect fix either. If he’s done early, can he ask to use the bathroom to just have a min to get up and move? Then come back and do something else? For my son, the back of the room was always the best place.

If he was in front, he was always turning around trying to see what was happening behind him constantly. And then he would start talking when he turned his back to the front. In the back he could see the entire room at all times and constantly be seeing everyone, which seemed to help his nosey self!

He’s a senior now but we got a LOT of calls up until he was 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's favorite teacher (science!) said she really enjoys working with him because he's so dedicated to the subject and helping others -- I don't think she was just sugar coating it -- but also bluntly told us he's a joker who loves to socialize with everyone and can distract kids when he finishes early and that the classroom dynamic is full of kids who are all friends. He had been on adhd medication but it made him very sick to his stomach. Just brought this up to DS and he denies that he does this behavior. Is next stop with his pedi again? He reacted terribly to adhd meds before, so I'm not sure the best next step.

No, the next stop is a firm disciplinary talk from mom and dad that he'd better straighten himself out and that you do not want to get a report like this again.

Why in the world would you jump to medication for a lack of discipline problem?

I think there's a big pharma shill on here always pushing pharma drugs. Perhaps could be a local shrink also pushing that angle.

It’s also a lot easier to drug your kid than be the grown-up in the room.

Just like it’s easier to hand a kid a phone than teach restaurant manners.