Incredibly worrisome back to school night

[Anonymous]

Give it a little time. Some honors teachers are having to get used to having 2E kids and there may be a learning curve for the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Did you read too much into what she said? And why did you approach her to begin with? It’s not really the time to do so on BTSN. I get it, she brought it up but you had to say who your kid was since she even knew who you were. I doubt she launched into this in front of the entire class during the 10 min presentation.

Your post is filled with anxiety. Give it some time. Relax and see how he does and stop analyzing her comments. Next year, do not go up on BTSN and say “I’m Henry’s parents and we wanted to introduce ourselves.” I had to tell DH to stop doing this too. The teachers are exhausted and it’s not the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you read too much into what she said? And why did you approach her to begin with? It’s not really the time to do so on BTSN. I get it, she brought it up but you had to say who your kid was since she even knew who you were. I doubt she launched into this in front of the entire class during the 10 min presentation.

Your post is filled with anxiety. Give it some time. Relax and see how he does and stop analyzing her comments. Next year, do not go up on BTSN and say “I’m Henry’s parents and we wanted to introduce ourselves.” I had to tell DH to stop doing this too. The teachers are exhausted and it’s not the time.

Yeah follow this teacher’s advice and just don’t say anything at back to school night. Just walk in, sit down, don’t smile and just stare at them during their presentation. Or even better don’t go at all and encourage the school the cancel it. Why should parents need to see their child’s classroom or say hi to a teacher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you read too much into what she said? And why did you approach her to begin with? It’s not really the time to do so on BTSN. I get it, she brought it up but you had to say who your kid was since she even knew who you were. I doubt she launched into this in front of the entire class during the 10 min presentation.

Your post is filled with anxiety. Give it some time. Relax and see how he does and stop analyzing her comments. Next year, do not go up on BTSN and say “I’m Henry’s parents and we wanted to introduce ourselves.” I had to tell DH to stop doing this too. The teachers are exhausted and it’s not the time.

"And why did you approach her to begin with? It’s not really the time to do so on BTSN. I get it, she brought it up but you had to say who your kid was since she even knew who you were. "

This is such an unhinged take. I am going to repeat and clarify things myself to make it clear I wasn't unhinged, the teacher was at tables, we were all in the large cafeteria and they were spread out at tables after the presentation and said, come on by and meet us. So, we did.

Here is the thing. My husband really is the one who did the bulk of the work to support my son. He got him Orton Gillingham private tutoring, arranged the private in home tutoring (a different thing), did the legwork to get his inattentive ADHD diagnosed, including the testing, and lead the efforts on the IEP which were incredibly helpful and successful last year.

I think my anxiety is that I know...women. I can see the things that are unsaid and the non-verbal behavior and I just have my hackles up after that interaction. She very much had the vibe that she knows "advanced" kids and my son isn't the type she deals with.

One other thing. We are at a local level IV that really didn't even have that until recently. Our daughter went to an AAP center, struggled in math (she got in on her verbal COGAT of 160, her math was lower than her brother's). If anything, I think she doesn't want to deal with his handwriting issues around copying notes. That worries me.

His case manager is amazing and she's been with him last year, but I don't want to make trouble where there is none. I was just hoping to get some words of encouragement to calm me down a bit. I'm a worried mom.

[Anonymous]

some teachers think they don't have to deal with IEPs if they are teaching an advanced or honors class. Sounds like the issue is the teacher, not your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some teachers think they don't have to deal with IEPs if they are teaching an advanced or honors class. Sounds like the issue is the teacher, not your kid.

+1 unfortunately.

OP I would stay on top of this situation. On your end, make sure kid is keeping his grades up and doing all his work. Hopefully the grades can speak for themselves. And check in often with your kid to make sure he’s getting his IEP accommodations. He should NOT have to proactively “ask” for them. The IEP is a legal document.

If he’s keeping up his grades and getting his accommodations, there’s not much to be done other than gently explain to your kid that some teachers are prejudiced against kids with IEP’s, and it is unfortunate and unfair. If the IEP starts not being followed, then you have a case and should start looping in the AP and principal and then go up from there. The special needs forum will be more helpful at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be discussed at back to school night. That’s not the purpose of the night. She should have told you to schedule a conference and talk about it at a different time.

That's the weird part! We were like so nice to meet you! We hope our kid is doing okay! And then she just went in on this. That was jarring. Neither of us were prepared for this. There weren't any other parents at her table and she was alone so maybe she was making conversation but it was strange.

We always do conferences much later, like mid to late October to see how things are going. But this sort of raised a red flag for me but I can't decide if my son isn't up for this class or whether this teacher just doesn't want him in there.

You never should have said this. That was your mistake. You put her in a bad position - if she said fine and lied then you’d be pissed if you heard later he wasn’t doing fine (but she said he was doing ok at back to school night!) It’s a no win situation.

[Anonymous]

OP, care less
Let her be grim, or whatever. For one thing, she hasn't had much time with your son Or you. She doesn't know how much of a pain you're going to be. She was unprofessional, imo, but you are going to need to develop a much thicker skin.

Maybe step back and let your DH handle anything that comes up. Sometimes just a different personality changes the communication.

[Anonymous]

I think this teacher is lazy and doesn't want to accommodate your child's IEP. I would ask for a meeting with the teacher AND the assistant principal to discuss some concerning comments that she made at back to school night. You need a witness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be discussed at back to school night. That’s not the purpose of the night. She should have told you to schedule a conference and talk about it at a different time.

That's the weird part! We were like so nice to meet you! We hope our kid is doing okay! And then she just went in on this. That was jarring. Neither of us were prepared for this. There weren't any other parents at her table and she was alone so maybe she was making conversation but it was strange.

We always do conferences much later, like mid to late October to see how things are going. But this sort of raised a red flag for me but I can't decide if my son isn't up for this class or whether this teacher just doesn't want him in there.

You never should have said this. That was your mistake. You put her in a bad position - if she said fine and lied then you’d be pissed if you heard later he wasn’t doing fine (but she said he was doing ok at back to school night!) It’s a no win situation.

Oh come on, it's small talk. EVERY parent says this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be discussed at back to school night. That’s not the purpose of the night. She should have told you to schedule a conference and talk about it at a different time.

That's the weird part! We were like so nice to meet you! We hope our kid is doing okay! And then she just went in on this. That was jarring. Neither of us were prepared for this. There weren't any other parents at her table and she was alone so maybe she was making conversation but it was strange.

We always do conferences much later, like mid to late October to see how things are going. But this sort of raised a red flag for me but I can't decide if my son isn't up for this class or whether this teacher just doesn't want him in there.

You never should have said this. That was your mistake. You put her in a bad position - if she said fine and lied then you’d be pissed if you heard later he wasn’t doing fine (but she said he was doing ok at back to school night!) It’s a no win situation.

Oh come on, it's small talk. EVERY parent says this.

Nope. I am a parent who introduces herself to the teachers at BTS night. I only say - I’m Larla’s mom, just wanted to say hi. She’s enjoying your class so far!

No response needed. I would never say “hope she’s doing ok”. That requires a lot from the teacher on a very busy night.