If you have a private college counselor…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the kid finally enters a competitive college, and the various types of parental/tutor support are unavailable, would that kid then struggle? Or is the secret that while it’s tough to get in, the school work is actually manageable without any extraordinary effort?

You encourage them to use their campus resources and not wait to get help. This means disability services, mental health services, office hours, writing center, on campus tutors, study groups etc. All of it has to be imitated by the student so it’s more about them being aware that they need to ask for help before it becomes an emergency and being able to advocate for themselves. Oh and of course selection - balancing classes and class work and finding out ahead of time about the amount of work and quality of the professor either online or word to mouth. I encourage my kids to talk to other people they know as well as using online resources. If there is something they need additional where the on campus resource isn’t enough- that where I get involved but it’s from a money standpoint to pay for x service and maybe if they need research to find options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel a better use of parental money is hiring tutors over the years to get their kids to a place where they can take challenging courses and get good grades; and if needed, address as much of their learning disabilities, ADHD, or whatever as possible. If on top of that a parent feels the need for a private college counselor, by all means, go for it!

I have a kid in college and one in high school. I debated hiring a private college counselor for both, and decided against it. My first had a complex academic profile and is twice exceptional (gifted with learning disabilities), and I felt that I understood him better than anyone else, and should be the person to guide him through college apps. And since I did that for this especially difficult kid, I think I can do the same for my second.

It was a HUGE effort on both our parts. He initially was very reluctant to think about college, make a list, visit or write essays. Finally I pushed him into writing the essays, which were by far the most laborious part of the apps. He wrote several drafts, I edited, he rejected most of my suggestions, had some great ideas and ultimately did accept a few of my edits to smooth out his disjointed paragraphs. I don't think any counselor could have cajoled him into making his best effort like this. There is no way.

Both my kids have had tutors to stay ahead in their advanced courses, and had or will have test prep. My oldest also had a psychiatrist for his mental health issues and my husband and I were his round-the-clock executive function coaches. It was not possible to hire an executive coach: he mostly needed help (cough-nagging) outside of business hours, in the morning and evening.

It all worked out. Right now he's studying abroad and doing well.

Hi PP - where did your kid go to school for college? I feel like you are describing my life with my DD. Your description of your role has validated what I have been informally doing for my high school junior. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

We have a counselor. Got a package. DC is a junior. So far is seems kinda pointless. They so far have given the kid a survey to identify their interests/majors, and have started the kid thinking about colleges and what they are looking for in a college. Similar to a prior poster, I am not sure the counselor is on the same wavelength as us in terms of college choices so this is annoying.

That said, our kid did need to take a survey to be able to articulate their preferred major. The kid does need some handholding to think about college preferences, and the kid also rejects a lot of what we suggest (could be our fault in how we communicate). The kid likes the counselor so hoping that this whole process will be more smooth than without. However, it's not rocket science. Your kid might be able to figure it out on their own, or you may be able to direct him or her.

We looked at another counselor who gave a few presentations on being point/finding your passion, but our kid needed a bit more direction and handholding to get from point A to point B. They weren't going to go out and start a project just based on going to a weekend seminar and listening to Ivy league kids say how they got there. This counselor was hourly so would have been cheaper, but I think our kid needed someone to break it down more for them.

[Anonymous]

I’m not involved at all. DD is very independent. She let me read her personal statement and then blew off all my feedback. But she seems to trust the counselor, so that’s good. I will probably ask to see her common app sometime soon to make sure it’s covering everything. And at some point before submission I will review the whole application.

[Anonymous]

I was pretty much hands off. The college counselor was worth in because my kid listened to the college counselor and did not listen to me .

[Anonymous]

My kid has been staying on track with essays and all due to the weekly meetings with college counselor. So, that is good. But, I just read some of her supplementals, which have been reviewed and “approved” by the CC I do not like them for various reasons. I also reviewed the common app, and there are mistakes and typos. ECs should have been drafted better. It looks like I need to be involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has been staying on track with essays and all due to the weekly meetings with college counselor. So, that is good. But, I just read some of her supplementals, which have been reviewed and “approved” by the CC I do not like them for various reasons. I also reviewed the common app, and there are mistakes and typos. ECs should have been drafted better. It looks like I need to be involved.

I also discovered this. Lots of missing periods in EC list, extra spaces.
Supp essays just weren't great. They were fine. Average. For reach schools they need to be exceptional.

Realized we didn't need a college counselor. We need essay coaching with laser-focused tailored advice.