If you have a private college counselor…
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Anonymous
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… are you more or less hands off as a parent? Do you still find you have to help with the application and school list? Does your counselor help figure out good fit schools and guide DC on the nitty gritty stuff in the application? Brainstorming essay ideas?
Trying to figure out the best type of counselor and how much it costs for someone who truly helps guide DC on all aspects. (Or are parents pretty involved regardless?). Not looking for someone who writes the essays or changes DC’s voice. |
Anonymous
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You need to stay on top of it. Many of them claim they tailor their advice to the individual, but most of it is a formula they repeat ad nauseum.
You actually need to stay on top of the counselor more than the kid, in my experience. Us to Counselor - We are not looking at the Ivy league for our DD Counselor to DD - You should really apply to Brown Etc. |
Anonymous
| Our counselor gives kid work to do between meetings so there is still some reminding on my part. He is more of an average student so I’m not sure this counselor has really been “worth it”. There aren’t tons of supplements for his schools. I wouldn’t hire one again unless my next 2 kids are shooting for ivy+ |
Anonymous
We are still very involved with the school list, because we are a full pay family so don’t want DC spending time on an application if it’s not somewhere that we also deem a potential good fit. CC basically provides the framework and then expert advice, but DC is driving and all of us are along for the ride. |
Anonymous
| I think it depends on the kid. We let ours select the counselor, which may have made him more invested in the process. By the hour. It allowed us to be parents and not nags. |
Anonymous
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I've hired and will continue to hire a range of professionals. Right now we have a college counselor that also works on executive function for a bright kid not used to having to plan or study.
I'm a fairly recent (<20 years) HYPSM grad so I know exactly what it takes to get in. My kid isn't interested in that at the moment so I'm not pushing it. |
Anonymous
Chances are, neither you nor most of your peers would get in these days…adjust your expectations. |
Anonymous
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I feel a better use of parental money is hiring tutors over the years to get their kids to a place where they can take challenging courses and get good grades; and if needed, address as much of their learning disabilities, ADHD, or whatever as possible. If on top of that a parent feels the need for a private college counselor, by all means, go for it!
I have a kid in college and one in high school. I debated hiring a private college counselor for both, and decided against it. My first had a complex academic profile and is twice exceptional (gifted with learning disabilities), and I felt that I understood him better than anyone else, and should be the person to guide him through college apps. And since I did that for this especially difficult kid, I think I can do the same for my second. It was a HUGE effort on both our parts. He initially was very reluctant to think about college, make a list, visit or write essays. Finally I pushed him into writing the essays, which were by far the most laborious part of the apps. He wrote several drafts, I edited, he rejected most of my suggestions, had some great ideas and ultimately did accept a few of my edits to smooth out his disjointed paragraphs. I don't think any counselor could have cajoled him into making his best effort like this. There is no way. Both my kids have had tutors to stay ahead in their advanced courses, and had or will have test prep. My oldest also had a psychiatrist for his mental health issues and my husband and I were his round-the-clock executive function coaches. It was not possible to hire an executive coach: he mostly needed help (cough-nagging) outside of business hours, in the morning and evening. It all worked out. Right now he's studying abroad and doing well. |
Anonymous
| Private counselor gives DD a list of tasks to complete for each meeting. Among those tasks, we might help DD with things like essay brainstorming and editing. Counselor is excellent at essay editing. We don't get involved in the nitty gritty details of the application, but will have a chance to review it all before submitted. We have already signed off on the list. DD is more accountable to counselor than to us, so we feel it was a very good investment...no nagging and excellent guidance. We're in a very good place right now. |
Anonymous
Man- what’s the kid going to do once he gets to college. Will you have a staff for him there too? |
Anonymous
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Didn’t hire one. Kid did very very well in admissions. Nobody knows my kids as much as we do so we were better at digging out topics in brainstorming and knowing what schools would be a good fit.
Yes- it’s hellish and a lot of work with full time jobs ourselves - but part of it even became bonding in a weird way—the collective effort. Kids always had As and high scores w/out help so our job was more about taking what they had (just did what they liked for ECs/sports) and helping them create a narrative with their material. |
Anonymous
| ^ I also did tons of research/reading on my own for the first one. |
Anonymous
| When the kid finally enters a competitive college, and the various types of parental/tutor support are unavailable, would that kid then struggle? Or is the secret that while it’s tough to get in, the school work is actually manageable without any extraordinary effort? |
Anonymous
This. Unless she means she graduates 2 years ago… |
Anonymous
| I paid $6k for a counselor and I do everything. Our counselor was useless. It was money down the drain. |