gf will not stop venting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you new to dating? Please ladies don't insult me for saying this. OP this is how a lot of women communicate. You will get used to it. It's not a big deal.

In some ways, I agree with you. A lot of people (not just women) complain as a way to bonds. They aren’t really looking for advice.

The thing that seems like a big red flag to me is the types of complaints. She is being made out to be the “bad guy” at work. Some guy grabbed her and she didn’t say anything. That stuff is odd

[Anonymous]

Her coworker grabbing her is a big deal some empathy would be good coming from you and no it's not just easy to go to the boss or HR in many workplaces. It could mean loosing her job not fair but that's how it is. So she has to weigh being harassed at work vs possibly being unemployed and her boyfriend doesn't give a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m going to sound like. Douche but I know most people here are women and I need asvice. I genuinely don’t understand why my girlfriend just doesn’t fix her own issues if she cares enough to vent.

doesn’t like that she’s gaining weight - doesnt exercise

Tells me some guy at her work grabbed her tightly and keeps staring at her - doesn’t tell him to back off

Says she’s being made out to be the bad guy at her job because some loser went behind her back to her boss to ”tell on her” when said guy is the biggest jerk himself

These are her main things she talks about and I have given her solutions yet she keeps complaining. If im being honest these are ”non-issues”.
Who cares what coworkers do? I WFH so maybe i just dont get it. I don’t know

Should I just nod and listen from now on?

It's weird that you think another man being inappropriate to her is a non-issue. You should break up with her so she can date someone who cares and understands that this is important.

[Anonymous]

She lacks coping skills.
End the relationship if this is something that doesn’t work for you.

Things won’t improve ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is sending you signals that you need to pay more attention to her. She wants your attention.

I don't know why we women think this neediness is womanly, endearing, and something to expected and served by default.

She "wants"?! I want a pony, we all have wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her coworker grabbing her is a big deal some empathy would be good coming from you and no it's not just easy to go to the boss or HR in many workplaces. It could mean loosing her job not fair but that's how it is. So she has to weigh being harassed at work vs possibly being unemployed and her boyfriend doesn't give a shit.

That was my reaction too - one of these is not like the others! OP, as a woman who has been harassed like this at work (and honestly most women who have done any level of entry or hourly work have) the odds of her suffering from a complaint are at least as high as it improving things. Even if you break up with her over other stuff please understand she’s in a crappy position on this one and develop some empathy

[Anonymous]

Face it, you've become her emotional tampon. She thinks of you as a girlfriend she can babble on and on to like women do. She isn't looking for any of your mansplaining solutions. She just wants sympathy. You need to figure out how to shut her up and occupy that open mouth.

[Anonymous]

There is a whole Parks and area episode about this where the staff take Chris aside and train him not to fix things, but to listen and say “that sucks” to Ann’s pregnancy complaints. Sage advice from Andy Dwyer, who would have thought it?!

[Anonymous]

She doesn't have to be your girlfriend
You are choosing this life, making this choice of a woman
This is on you

[Anonymous]

Not gonna lie, she sounds annoying and way too passive, but OTOH, lots of times women just want empathy from their partner, not strategic advice. Only you know whether everything else about her makes putting up with her venting worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m going to sound like. Douche but I know most people here are women and I need asvice. I genuinely don’t understand why my girlfriend just doesn’t fix her own issues if she cares enough to vent.

doesn’t like that she’s gaining weight - doesnt exercise

Tells me some guy at her work grabbed her tightly and keeps staring at her - doesn’t tell him to back off

Says she’s being made out to be the bad guy at her job because some loser went behind her back to her boss to ”tell on her” when said guy is the biggest jerk himself

These are her main things she talks about and I have given her solutions yet she keeps complaining. If im being honest these are ”non-issues”.
Who cares what coworkers do? I WFH so maybe i just dont get it. I don’t know

Should I just nod and listen from now on?

She's a Negative Nancy.
A perpetual complainer.
You have to decide if you can be around someone like that. Personally I don't like people like that.