Default parent vent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably not a good idea to treat DH in a way you would not want him to treat you.

??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably not a good idea to treat DH in a way you would not want him to treat you.

??

Putting him down, ranting, blaming, etc., etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m the default parent and I mess up sometimes. If your husband is generally doing a good job with the kids, appreciate that and try not to micromanage.

I’m the default parent and while I do a LOT more for our kids than DH, my husband doesn’t usually criticize how I do things nor do I think he fully realizes how much a default parent does on a never ending basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably not a good idea to treat DH in a way you would not want him to treat you.

??

Putting him down, ranting, blaming, etc., etc.

OP here. I've done none of these things. He sent me a text that irritated me. I vented here rather than sending a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the mom and the default parent. I have forgotten jackets, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, etc in my many years of parenting. It happens. I would not text my husband and alert him to my failure. That was your husband's mistake. The kid is alive and probably having a great time. Some mom packed too much and your kid is now wearing the extra jacket. Relax and give your husband -who is on a weekend camping trip with your kid that he packed for - a break.

DH found some reception and actually called me, so I know that DS is fine. He is using DH's long sleeved clothes.

The reason this situation is so irritating to me, though, is that DH and I both take outdoor activities and wilderness safety very seriously. Pre-kids, we were avid backpackers, climbers, and even mountaineers. He took a gap semester in college to do an international NOLS trip, and he was a camp counselor. I've been certified as a W-EMT. For ourselves, we both take things like the 10 essentials (which include extra warm clothes) very seriously. Our kids are in Scouts, partially to help reinforce these things. Even for day trips, we pack these things to build good habits.

For sure DH would never leave extra layers out of his own pack for a camping trip. The fact that he allowed DS to do so just demonstrates how little responsibility he feels for ensuring DS learns these lessons.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully your husband's next wife isn't such a piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

I’m a Girl Scout leader and there are certain items I have to see before we pack the truck. And the kid has to show us the stuff. And we do many practice runs before hand. By the time the girls are 8 they are not missing items. Extra stuffed animals are still a persistent problem but they get weeded out and sent home at the parking lot where we meet up before departure.

This is on your DH and your kid. I’m annoyed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the mom and the default parent. I have forgotten jackets, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, etc in my many years of parenting. It happens. I would not text my husband and alert him to my failure. That was your husband's mistake. The kid is alive and probably having a great time. Some mom packed too much and your kid is now wearing the extra jacket. Relax and give your husband -who is on a weekend camping trip with your kid that he packed for - a break.

DH found some reception and actually called me, so I know that DS is fine. He is using DH's long sleeved clothes.

The reason this situation is so irritating to me, though, is that DH and I both take outdoor activities and wilderness safety very seriously. Pre-kids, we were avid backpackers, climbers, and even mountaineers. He took a gap semester in college to do an international NOLS trip, and he was a camp counselor. I've been certified as a W-EMT. For ourselves, we both take things like the 10 essentials (which include extra warm clothes) very seriously. Our kids are in Scouts, partially to help reinforce these things. Even for day trips, we pack these things to build good habits.

For sure DH would never leave extra layers out of his own pack for a camping trip. The fact that he allowed DS to do so just demonstrates how little responsibility he feels for ensuring DS learns these lessons.

I get it, OP. He isn’t going into this naively as a first time outdoors dad. So by not having what he needed he’s actively choosing not to use his mental energy and the skills and knowledge he actually has to do this task. It’s gross.