Default parent vent!
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Anonymous
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Default parenting never ends, it seems. DH and I have had major career changes in the last year. He was always the main earner, and even though I worked most of the logistics of household and kids fell to me. He resigned this spring, and I took a huge step up in role and responsibility. We're still working on the transition to his being more responsible for the smaller things that he never even knew existed.
This weekend he is on a Scouts camping trip with DS9. He just sent me a text saying that DS did not bring a jacket or anything long-sleeved. He wrote me, "I should have checked." Yes, he should have! Who takes a kid on a weekend camping trip without confirming they have a jacket?! Not to mention that last year on this same camping trip it poured rain, and the jacket DS had was not great...so we bought him a new one that still fits and would be exactly what he needs this weekend. |
Anonymous
| He’s your husband. What do you want us to tell you? I divorced an incompetent one. Do that, or take this up with your husband. |
Anonymous
| You are not the default if you did not pack the kid. |
Anonymous
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It's a good lesson for your DS 9.
Kids need to learn to pack too. I have told/nagged my older kids to pack things and then they still did not do exactly what I told them to do. So they lived with the consequences. In our family, pajamas are the most forgotten item. Hopefully your DH can make something work out of his clothes. |
Anonymous
| Ignore the text. Your son will be uncomfortable, but one of them will remember next time. |
Anonymous
That's exactly what I'm doing. But, man, it's taking a long time for DH to step up on basic parenting tasks. |
Anonymous
| I would never trust my husband to pack for the kids. There are some things that are better left to the person who can do the job. |
Anonymous
I think there are different standards for mom-organized work vs. what's expected of men. I now think letting go is a useful response. |
Anonymous
| I’m the default mom/parent and I f$& stuff up, I just don’t text my husband about it. Just respond “that sucks” and move on. Everyone makes mistakes and they’ll both learn from this one and no one will die. |
Anonymous
Well, it's a Scouts camping trip, and DH is even an assistant troop leader. But in general, this is the issue. I can't do everything nowadays with the changes in our work obligations. DH has to learn how to do certain things, even if he takes a different approach. |
Anonymous
| Maybe the dad can share his long sleeve shirt with his son |
Anonymous
| Probably not a good idea to treat DH in a way you would not want him to treat you. |
Anonymous
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Oh man that’s terrible. How far away are they? I wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of my kid being cold and I might drive it to them anyways if I could.
Totally something my husband would do. |
Anonymous
| I'm the mom and the default parent. I have forgotten jackets, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, etc in my many years of parenting. It happens. I would not text my husband and alert him to my failure. That was your husband's mistake. The kid is alive and probably having a great time. Some mom packed too much and your kid is now wearing the extra jacket. Relax and give your husband -who is on a weekend camping trip with your kid that he packed for - a break. |
Anonymous
This! |