How often do you have good dinner conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family dinners are a priority and we have good conversations maybe 5 out of 7 nights. But deep conversations only about every two or three weeks.

Last night’s main conversations were what we should get grandma for her birthday next week, my daughter telling my son what she thinks he should do with his hair, one of my daughters opining about the wonders of potatoes, and my husband and I talking about yard work.

Is that an example of a “deep” conversation or just a “good” one?

[Anonymous]

You people are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts.

Yes, I agree many are. I’m the brow gel and cookie conversation poster.

Those who have regular deep conversations, please tell us the topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts.

Yes, I agree many are. I’m the brow gel and cookie conversation poster.

Those who have regular deep conversations, please tell us the topics.

What is nuts about conversing with your kids? The topics will vary because people are different and the dynamics change based on the combo of who’s at the table. In our house, Sephora brow gel would be dead in the water, even with my teen girl. But we could talk about cookies for a while. Everyone likes cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts.

Yes, I agree many are. I’m the brow gel and cookie conversation poster.

Those who have regular deep conversations, please tell us the topics.

The deeper topics usually start from talk about politics and evolve into personal belief systems. We aren’t a sit around for an hour family, but we do have kids who like to talk to us and like I said in a pp, it’s more organic. I don’t come to the table armed with questions to ask or topics I want to cover. It just…happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought that when my kids became teens, we would have lots of interesting and intellectual dinner conversations about current events, what's happening at school, things they're learning, etc.

In reality this almost never happens.

Many nights DH is working late or traveling and if he is there, he just wants light conversation. My teens (15 and 17) mostly don't want to talk and give short answers to questions. This reduces my motivation for conversation, and I'm also tired at the end of the day and after having cooked a meal, and so a lot of times we will either just make light conversation or even just quietly eat.

I know this is fine and that it's an accomplishment just to sit down for dinner together, but wondering if any others manage to actually have interesting conversations and what your secret is?

What topics do you define as deep? Politics? War? Religion? Funeral plans? Climate change? Talking about one topic v another doesn’t make 1 family more high brow or interesting than the one talking about the brow gel! Different families talk about different things and often if all family members agree on same politics, religion, etc only talk for so long about those topics because already all in agreement.

[Anonymous]

Same. When I was growing up my dad was a great story teller and would discuss all the things going on in politics, in his work, in the neighborhood, in society, in entertainment. We had great dinner conversations. We often had guests over for dinner. My own family is morning like this, though I wish we were. My DH is quiet. I do talk, but my kids aren’t particularly interested!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nights. As deep as kids are capable of.

Good job having dinner together tho - sorry your husband sounds like a dud.

Your husband is a bigger loser

[Anonymous]

It sounds counterintuitive but we find playing music during dinner leads to more conversation, and eliminates awkward silence. We do discuss social issues, books etc. but some days he’s not up for it. we have one kid who is very curious and reads a lot. We also talk about our day but we have jobs that lead to lots of stories.

[Anonymous]

Children aren't a substitute for adult relationships.

[Anonymous]

They like to discuss politics, news, but mostly they like to talk about curious situations with other students or teachers and get input from siblings and parent.

[Anonymous]

DD, 13, mostly engages in polite conversation about her day, classmates, and what's happening that week. Better conversations usually happen one-on-one, after homework has been completed and she has had some down time (We eat early and right after her after school activities, between 5:30pm & 6:00pm.) She's an introvert and so is DH. I have learned not to force it as she will open up when she wants and definitely knows how to behave in other homes and holds her own in conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought that when my kids became teens, we would have lots of interesting and intellectual dinner conversations about current events, what's happening at school, things they're learning, etc.

In reality this almost never happens.

Many nights DH is working late or traveling and if he is there, he just wants light conversation. My teens (15 and 17) mostly don't want to talk and give short answers to questions. This reduces my motivation for conversation, and I'm also tired at the end of the day and after having cooked a meal, and so a lot of times we will either just make light conversation or even just quietly eat.

I know this is fine and that it's an accomplishment just to sit down for dinner together, but wondering if any others manage to actually have interesting conversations and what your secret is?

Lol you watched one too many commercials centered around a dining table with everyone smiling as they dig into their salad and chicken

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest why the expectation of deep and interesting dinner conversations just isn’t realistic with teens, or heck, with many people. As you said everyone’s tired. Your DH after work, you after cooking, the kids after a day of high school and possibly other activities.

Keep it light and fun. No need to make the dinner table a recreation of the Kennedys or the Emanuels. Enjoy the time with each other at the end of a busy day, and let the deeper conversations arise organically.

OP here. Haha, yes I probably am trying to recreate the Emanuels.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for everyone's thoughts! Seems like some of this is more about personality than creating the right environment. Also interesting to hear that some grew up with this being forced on them and they didn't appreciate it.

I'll try to take some of the pressure off myself and just enjoy it as a moment of being together.