How do you know it's time to switch doctors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

Yeah, sounds like he's the definition of the problem.

Look, this isnt' rocket science—his skills are worthless if he can't get the information necessary to make an accurate diagnosis, and his accurate diagnosis is worth absolutely nothing if he can't communicate back the relevant facts, the risk, and the best way to treat. If he only gets half the story, his diagnoses are worthless, if he figures out what's wrong, but leaves the patient confused, frightened or uncooperative about followup treatment, it was just a big waste of time.

Health problems are terrifying and overwhelming for most people, and some people will respond very well to a no-nonsense approach, and your husband might be a great doctor for those people. But in fairly overwhelming numbers, most Americans feel the healthcare system is cold, impersonal, monolithic, confusing, etc. Some of it is the nature of health problems, some of it is the bureaucratic system, the byzantine financial end, the unfriendly admin side workers, etc... So, for a lot of people, your husband's approach is the worst one. Go talk to anyone who has ever worked in journalism, sales or retail... if you can put a person at ease, it's insane what you can convince them to tell you or do for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

I personally prefer doctors like your husband over the warm and fuzzy type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

Yeah, sounds like he's the definition of the problem.

Look, this isnt' rocket science—his skills are worthless if he can't get the information necessary to make an accurate diagnosis, and his accurate diagnosis is worth absolutely nothing if he can't communicate back the relevant facts, the risk, and the best way to treat. If he only gets half the story, his diagnoses are worthless, if he figures out what's wrong, but leaves the patient confused, frightened or uncooperative about followup treatment, it was just a big waste of time.

Health problems are terrifying and overwhelming for most people, and some people will respond very well to a no-nonsense approach, and your husband might be a great doctor for those people. But in fairly overwhelming numbers, most Americans feel the healthcare system is cold, impersonal, monolithic, confusing, etc. Some of it is the nature of health problems, some of it is the bureaucratic system, the byzantine financial end, the unfriendly admin side workers, etc... So, for a lot of people, your husband's approach is the worst one. Go talk to anyone who has ever worked in journalism, sales or retail... if you can put a person at ease, it's insane what you can convince them to tell you or do for you.

I don't get why you're making the assumption that he's not communicating the relevant facts. I have a doctor like PPs husband and I've found that she communicated the facts, treatment plans, prognosis, etc far better than any other doctor I've had. She's not warm and fuzzy. She's not going to sugar coat things and I love that about her. I feel like I actually get the whole picture of what's going on vs the watered down version I've gotten before with the doctor that most would say had an amazing bed side manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

I personally prefer doctors like your husband over the warm and fuzzy type.

Those aren't the two options. Someone who effectively communicates and successfully gets the patient to participate in treatment is the goal.

I want a doctor who is knowledgable, but who also makes eye contact, is patient with my questions, does not treat me as someone who is wasting their time, etc.

It's no different from any other retail job—it takes all kinds and some people like different things, but most people like being treated well. Most doctors today fail that test wildly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

Yeah, sounds like he's the definition of the problem.

Look, this isnt' rocket science—his skills are worthless if he can't get the information necessary to make an accurate diagnosis, and his accurate diagnosis is worth absolutely nothing if he can't communicate back the relevant facts, the risk, and the best way to treat. If he only gets half the story, his diagnoses are worthless, if he figures out what's wrong, but leaves the patient confused, frightened or uncooperative about followup treatment, it was just a big waste of time.

Health problems are terrifying and overwhelming for most people, and some people will respond very well to a no-nonsense approach, and your husband might be a great doctor for those people. But in fairly overwhelming numbers, most Americans feel the healthcare system is cold, impersonal, monolithic, confusing, etc. Some of it is the nature of health problems, some of it is the bureaucratic system, the byzantine financial end, the unfriendly admin side workers, etc... So, for a lot of people, your husband's approach is the worst one. Go talk to anyone who has ever worked in journalism, sales or retail... if you can put a person at ease, it's insane what you can convince them to tell you or do for you.

I don't get why you're making the assumption that he's not communicating the relevant facts. I have a doctor like PPs husband and I've found that she communicated the facts, treatment plans, prognosis, etc far better than any other doctor I've had. She's not warm and fuzzy. She's not going to sugar coat things and I love that about her. I feel like I actually get the whole picture of what's going on vs the watered down version I've gotten before with the doctor that most would say had an amazing bed side manner.

Because she said he only speaks in clinical terms, refuses to engage with the patient and both common sense and actual research shows that most people don't respond well to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

OP here. I would really appreciate this (it's the autism ). Like a PP said upthread, I do better with facts, not a pitch. That said, I appreciate that some on this thread have said they need the opposite: more warmth, more feelings, more connection. I guess it's a matter of knowing what you need and then finding a provider who works the way you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.

Your husband is why so many people get such bad healthcare in this country.

He can be the best diagnostician in the world, but if he can't communicate with patients and elicit useful information, it's his fault. The patient doesn't know what's wrong with them and doesn't know what information to provide and a lot of important information is hard to articulate or embarrassing. Interacting with people is a talent and to a degree a skill, and your husband should get off his high horse and work on improving his relationship with patients.

PP you replied to. You seem confused. He explains very well, and has often led seminars on how to let the patient talk, instead of asking leading questions right off the bat. But he only talks science. No small talk. No feelings. He's not warm and fuzzy, but very clinical. He's an infectious disease specialist with an MD and a PhD (and autism tendencies ).

OP here. I would really appreciate this (it's the autism ). Like a PP said upthread, I do better with facts, not a pitch. That said, I appreciate that some on this thread have said they need the opposite: more warmth, more feelings, more connection. I guess it's a matter of knowing what you need and then finding a provider who works the way you do.

OP again. For what I pay them, my insurance should index its in-network providers with some kind of rating scale or symbol code for this. Let me sort for my "just the facts" providers before I waste my time and theirs! Let the people who need warmth and validation find their people! Trial and error seems like a massive waste of time and resources for something like this.

[Anonymous]

My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

Sounds like you made the right call and I'm glad you got the care you needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

Sounds like you made the right call and I'm glad you got the care you needed.

Thanks, me too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

PP's husband would coldly explain that he knows better and would charge you $400.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

PP's husband would coldly explain that he knows better and would charge you $400.

It's always the nastiest people who need the most love, attention, and gentle care. Probably because they're even meaner to themselves than they are to random, strangers, etc. I hope you heal, PP.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of people who seem rude and condescending and at the same time they are perfectionist and do a great job.
So for a surgeon I would go with great reputation based on recommendations from my primary care physician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My doctor wouldn’t treat my psoriasis in any way that made it better. I told her the tubes of ointment she prescribed smelled awful and didn’t work and stained my clothes and sheets and she kept prescribing them. I finally told her I thought it needed to be treated from the inside, out. Rather than the outside, in. More ointments.

So I left. Went to a different doctor. Got on Tremfya and now nobody can tell I have it.

PP's husband would coldly explain that he knows better and would charge you $400.

It's always the nastiest people who need the most love, attention, and gentle care. Probably because they're even meaner to themselves than they are to random, strangers, etc. I hope you heal, PP.

Describing frightened overwhelmed people suffering from a health crisis as “the nastiest people” says a ton about the way many doctors think.

“Shut up and do as I say - you’re just a payment on my new Audi - I’ve got other patients to see! No questions - don’t you know I went to med school?”