How to safe guard elder parent’s assets?

[Anonymous]

My parents are getting older and looking to get their financial affairs in order. Backstory: found out father had a child before he married my mother but kept this a secret from us for several years. We didn’t find out until all us kids were adults. Mom was the breadwinner and major money saver and wants to insure all the money she has saved will go directly to us (her kids). We are completely fine with splitting or even having all of dad’s money go to his other child outside of us. How can we safe guard my mothers assets so my half sibling can’t stake claim after either of them pass?

It sounds like your parents have separated their money? And your mother has more money than your father? This is not generally how marital assets work. Are they still married? If so, there are not separate "mother's assets" unless she has separate assets if she inherited them and kept them separate. Anything earned during the marriage is marital property. It doesn't matter if one person was "the breadwinner and major money saver".

[Anonymous]

Talk to them about their will and their joint assets.

I think what's fair is that when one parent dies, if it's your mother first, your father gets a lump sum and the rest is divided between their children (not the half-sibling). When your father dies, your mother gets a lump sum and the rest if divided between ALL the children. Since the half-sibling is his child, and not hers.

Check with a lawyer.

Unless there is a lot of money, the surviving spouse may need to inherit and the children may have to wait to inherit until the surviving spouse dies. This is more common unless there is a lot of money. And if there is a lot of money, your parents should have a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you saying "they're not your assets!!" gmafb. OP knows that. How would you feel to see your mom's hard work go to someone who has never met her and has no connection to her?

It sucks.

Trust me.

Hope that mom goes last. When she goes first, all hell breaks loose and so much hurt is caused by the next woman.

[Anonymous]

Trust or gift to you. Make sure to look at Medicaid look back and asset protection laws in your state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My parents are getting older and looking to get their financial affairs in order. Backstory: found out father had a child before he married my mother but kept this a secret from us for several years. We didn’t find out until all us kids were adults. Mom was the breadwinner and major money saver and wants to insure all the money she has saved will go directly to us (her kids). We are completely fine with splitting or even having all of dad’s money go to his other child outside of us. How can we safe guard my mothers assets so my half sibling can’t stake claim after either of them pass?

It sounds like your parents have separated their money? And your mother has more money than your father? This is not generally how marital assets work. Are they still married? If so, there are not separate "mother's assets" unless she has separate assets if she inherited them and kept them separate. Anything earned during the marriage is marital property. It doesn't matter if one person was "the breadwinner and major money saver".

Wrong. For estate planning purposes, whoever owns the account/asset controls where it goes, even if it was earned during the marriage. If the breadwinner saved in their retirement or brokerage account, it’s theirs to bequest as they choose.

[Anonymous]

Is the half sibling legally acknowledged as your father's child? Or does he have his own adoptive father? If your dad is a bio dad but not the birth certificate father, is he legally the father of a self-supporting adult for whom he never paid child support?

It sounds like your dad for sure wants to leave this kid some money. Maybe he and your mother can agree on a specific amount and have the will state that X amount of the estate after debts are settled goes to this kid. Then the rest to all the others.