How to safe guard elder parent’s assets?

[Anonymous]

My parents are getting older and looking to get their financial affairs in order. Backstory: found out father had a child before he married my mother but kept this a secret from us for several years. We didn’t find out until all us kids were adults. Mom was the breadwinner and major money saver and wants to insure all the money she has saved will go directly to us (her kids). We are completely fine with splitting or even having all of dad’s money go to his other child outside of us. How can we safe guard my mothers assets so my half sibling can’t stake claim after either of them pass?

[Anonymous]

They need to have very specific wills. What do they want? Talk to an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Your mom and dad don’t have individual money, they have joint money. If your dad dies first there won’t be a problem. If not, you get what you get.

[Anonymous]

We put my parents money into trusts, and the trust financial officer pays all bills and gives my parents spending money monthly. If they want to make a big purchase they have to submit a request - this is because caregivers have stolen so much money. Stolen credit cards, took my parent to bank and made withdrawals then pocketed the money… financial officer and I review credit cards periodically for fraud. Believe me, it’s there several times a year. It’s coming from spam emails, so I put a filter on the emails.
This sounds exhausting but we STILL had a former caregiver open a bank account with my dads info and a stolen check, cosigned him into a loan, not once but three times using her sons name, her husbands name…Caregivers obviously found enough personal info to pretend to be him. So, lock that up any identifying info- passwords, passport, drivers license, SS card, medical insurance, anything they could use to pose as your parent. Also look at recurring charges from hvac/plumbing/pest control companies who peddle “plans” charging $200 a month for ?
One last thing is handymen repairmen. One showed up to fix the garage door (not broken) and wanted check for $250 in his name. I said “send invoice via mail”. Later looked him up and he was 3x felon and convicted for armed robbery and rape. No one ever called for that repair. Vultures.

[Anonymous]

She needs a will. Where it gets complicated is if all the assets are joint.

[Anonymous]

You aren't safe guarding for them, you are safeguarding for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't safe guarding for them, you are safeguarding for you.

This!

[Anonymous]

My parents are getting older and looking to get their financial affairs in order. Backstory: found out father had a child before he married my mother but kept this a secret from us for several years. We didn’t find out until all us kids were adults. Mom was the breadwinner and major money saver and wants to insure all the money she has saved will go directly to us (her kids). We are completely fine with splitting or even having all of dad’s money go to his other child outside of us. How can we safe guard my mothers assets so my half sibling can’t stake claim after either of them pass?

You cannot safeguard someone else's assets. They are not your assets. Your parents are adults and take care of their own finances, right?

[Anonymous]

All of you saying "they're not your assets!!" gmafb. OP knows that. How would you feel to see your mom's hard work go to someone who has never met her and has no connection to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My parents are getting older and looking to get their financial affairs in order. Backstory: found out father had a child before he married my mother but kept this a secret from us for several years. We didn’t find out until all us kids were adults. Mom was the breadwinner and major money saver and wants to insure all the money she has saved will go directly to us (her kids). We are completely fine with splitting or even having all of dad’s money go to his other child outside of us. How can we safe guard my mothers assets so my half sibling can’t stake claim after either of them pass?

You cannot safeguard someone else's assets. They are not your assets. Your parents are adults and take care of their own finances, right?

Why the snark? Obviously I’m helping them with this matter. If you’ve lived a life never having to assist your parents with their personal affairs then good for you. That’s not how many people in this world operate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you saying "they're not your assets!!" gmafb. OP knows that. How would you feel to see your mom's hard work go to someone who has never met her and has no connection to her?

OP here - thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom and dad don’t have individual money, they have joint money. If your dad dies first there won’t be a problem. If not, you get what you get.

If he dies first and there is no will/trust in place - can his other child claim stake on any assets he had in his name (even if joint with my mom)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs a will. Where it gets complicated is if all the assets are joint.

Are they able to start separating their assets now while both are alive?

[Anonymous]

If there is significant money involved then I would seek a trust lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Talk to them about their will and their joint assets.

I think what's fair is that when one parent dies, if it's your mother first, your father gets a lump sum and the rest is divided between their children (not the half-sibling). When your father dies, your mother gets a lump sum and the rest if divided between ALL the children. Since the half-sibling is his child, and not hers.

Check with a lawyer.