Partner is obsessed with food

[Anonymous]

You should speak up when you want seconds ("Please leave some for me . . . I'm going to have some more.) and leave post-it notes on the leftovers in the fridge that you want saved for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did they grow up with food insecurity? or in a house where you had to grab it or it was gone? I would address it directly but with curiosity. Also, do they have weight or health problems from excess consumption?

I would find that level of focus on eating irritating and problematic--esp if it is leading you to change your behavior (hide, hoard, etc).

This. I grew up "going without" so having the means to buy whatever I want as an adult makes food fun af, where most people don't enjoy food choice anywhere near as much as I do. I don't see that part as being an issue. If your partner is eating more than their body can use, that may be an issue. That your partner is eating food you'd intended to eat presents a bit of an issue, but it sounds like you can easily clear that up by taking PP's suggestion and being specific about "I put a tupperware of leftovers in the fridge for my lunch, so please make sure to save that for me"

If you can afford the food and it's not causing health issues, this seems like a pretty minor issue. Let people like food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Maybe the person is a planner and likes to know what the food plan is before people get hungry. Have you told the person not to touch your leftovers? I’m sure if you said this was important, and apparently a deal breaker, the person would understand. Try communicating directly about your food preferences. My husband takes it as a compliment when I eat the leftovers he cooks.

No kids. I have said I'm going to eat it later and they still eat it. Surely you wouldn't eat all the leftovers unless your husband said he didn't want them?

Right. I hear you that they don’t take cues. Is the person clueless/forgetful, dismissive, or can’t fight the urge? If clueless, leave a note on the Tupperware, if dismissive be explicit that you see this as a problem, if can’t fight the urge, others have shared suggestions. Good luck, I’d be annoyed too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did they grow up with food insecurity? or in a house where you had to grab it or it was gone? I would address it directly but with curiosity. Also, do they have weight or health problems from excess consumption?

I would find that level of focus on eating irritating and problematic--esp if it is leading you to change your behavior (hide, hoard, etc).

This. I grew up "going without" so having the means to buy whatever I want as an adult makes food fun af, where most people don't enjoy food choice anywhere near as much as I do. I don't see that part as being an issue. If your partner is eating more than their body can use, that may be an issue. That your partner is eating food you'd intended to eat presents a bit of an issue, but it sounds like you can easily clear that up by taking PP's suggestion and being specific about "I put a tupperware of leftovers in the fridge for my lunch, so please make sure to save that for me"

If you can afford the food and it's not causing health issues, this seems like a pretty minor issue. Let people like food.

If it’s the case that this is disordered eating due to childhood food restriction, the weight loss medications can help a ton. I tried a range of treatments but nothing addressed food noise like Contrave. Still couple it with therapy and a dietitian when needed but it was a chemical problem that needed a chemical solution. It was just too hard wired. (Childhood neglect followed by a medical issue that made it hard to eat).

[Anonymous]

OP, I wish you wouldn't be so vague and couched in your language. When you say "partner," what do you mean? Is this a husband or a wife that you are actually married to, and thus have some vested interest in their eating, life and wellbeing? When you say "they," are you talking about a man or a woman?

These things make a difference for anyone who can give you practical advice. Or, you can just listen to the numerous posters for whom drugs are always the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Maybe the person is a planner and likes to know what the food plan is before people get hungry. Have you told the person not to touch your leftovers? I’m sure if you said this was important, and apparently a deal breaker, the person would understand. Try communicating directly about your food preferences. My husband takes it as a compliment when I eat the leftovers he cooks.

No kids. I have said I'm going to eat it later and they still eat it. Surely you wouldn't eat all the leftovers unless your husband said he didn't want them?

Right. I hear you that they don’t take cues. Is the person clueless/forgetful, dismissive, or can’t fight the urge? If clueless, leave a note on the Tupperware, if dismissive be explicit that you see this as a problem, if can’t fight the urge, others have shared suggestions. Good luck, I’d be annoyed too.

Yes, I think OP needs to be explicit here if she's (?) not. If it's a vague "I might have that later..." partner may interpret that as if it's not eaten within 24 hours it's ok to eat. I would try being more literal, putting a note with OP's name on it. If the partner blows past that without asking, that's totally disrespectful and not ok.

[Anonymous]

Cook/buy more food.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP's partner is not seriously overweight (slightly overweight according to OP)
so perhaps the partner just has a bigger appetite? If OP's partner were seriously overeating, they should be seriously overweight, which is not the case.

I recall my the first girlfriend I lived with complained that "I ate too much, hardly leaving any for her." I understood her perspective as we were splitting the food bill. On the other hand, I weighed more than twice her weight and I lifted weights and played sports so I probably needed twice the calories she did!

When my wife cooks the portion sizes are often skimpy. It seems she thinks what is sufficient for her should suffice for me, even though I outweigh her by 80 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Cook heavy lean meats, fish, eggs, chicken and beans. Less pasta, pizza and carbs!
Lots of greens, green beans, peas, more fiber!

[Anonymous]

Have you considered fat shaming them?