Partner is obsessed with food

[Anonymous]

It's like their entire existence revolves around food. For example, we went to the zoo yesterday. We had just had a decent breakfast before we left, oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, sausage and in the car, and as soon as we got to the zoo, they were talking about lunch, what we were going to get for lunch, and when we were eating lunch, it was about dinner. For dinner, we decided to get takeout they wanted a fish dinner until I said I would just finish the couple of slices left from when we ordered pizza, then they wanted to split the pizza too. There was literally 2 slices of pizza. They have eaten leftovers that were supposedly for me, which they got intentionally for me. At meals, if I don't immeadiaely pile my plate high or store it away and hide it somewhere in the fridge I can forget about leftovers or seconds. It doesn't matter if I increase the quantity of what I make. The issue is I feel like I either have to overeat at meals or hide food in order to have a small helping of seconds or take something for lunch the next day. Is this something that can be worked out or better to part ways if I can't deal with it. How likely is their fixation to change?

[Anonymous]

You have to respect each other. You shouldn't judge them but they should stay away from food designated as yours.

[Anonymous]

Are they fat?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like an eating disorder

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Maybe the person is a planner and likes to know what the food plan is before people get hungry. Have you told the person not to touch your leftovers? I’m sure if you said this was important, and apparently a deal breaker, the person would understand. Try communicating directly about your food preferences. My husband takes it as a compliment when I eat the leftovers he cooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they fat?

OP here. slightly overweight. i'm trying not to judge, but it is incredibly frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Get him on Ozempic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Maybe the person is a planner and likes to know what the food plan is before people get hungry. Have you told the person not to touch your leftovers? I’m sure if you said this was important, and apparently a deal breaker, the person would understand. Try communicating directly about your food preferences. My husband takes it as a compliment when I eat the leftovers he cooks.

No kids. I have said I'm going to eat it later and they still eat it. Surely you wouldn't eat all the leftovers unless your husband said he didn't want them?

[Anonymous]

It's not going to change. People who are fixated on food don't change without a lot of therapy and some medication.

[Anonymous]

Did they grow up with food insecurity? or in a house where you had to grab it or it was gone? I would address it directly but with curiosity. Also, do they have weight or health problems from excess consumption?

I would find that level of focus on eating irritating and problematic--esp if it is leading you to change your behavior (hide, hoard, etc).

[Anonymous]

Sounds super disordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him on Ozempic.

This. Sounds like a food noise problem.

[Anonymous]

This is an issue. Wegovy or Zepound will assit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like their entire existence revolves around food. For example, we went to the zoo yesterday. We had just had a decent breakfast before we left, oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, sausage and in the car, and as soon as we got to the zoo, they were talking about lunch, what we were going to get for lunch, and when we were eating lunch, it was about dinner. For dinner, we decided to get takeout they wanted a fish dinner until I said I would just finish the couple of slices left from when we ordered pizza, then they wanted to split the pizza too. There was literally 2 slices of pizza. They have eaten leftovers that were supposedly for me, which they got intentionally for me. At meals, if I don't immeadiaely pile my plate high or store it away and hide it somewhere in the fridge I can forget about leftovers or seconds. It doesn't matter if I increase the quantity of what I make. The issue is I feel like I either have to overeat at meals or hide food in order to have a small helping of seconds or take something for lunch the next day. Is this something that can be worked out or better to part ways if I can't deal with it. How likely is their fixation to change?

Carb heavy breakfast that will leave you super hungry an hour later, hungrier than if you had not eaten at all. Maybe your husband needs to have more satiating food around overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like their entire existence revolves around food. For example, we went to the zoo yesterday. We had just had a decent breakfast before we left, oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, sausage and in the car, and as soon as we got to the zoo, they were talking about lunch, what we were going to get for lunch, and when we were eating lunch, it was about dinner. For dinner, we decided to get takeout they wanted a fish dinner until I said I would just finish the couple of slices left from when we ordered pizza, then they wanted to split the pizza too. There was literally 2 slices of pizza. They have eaten leftovers that were supposedly for me, which they got intentionally for me. At meals, if I don't immeadiaely pile my plate high or store it away and hide it somewhere in the fridge I can forget about leftovers or seconds. It doesn't matter if I increase the quantity of what I make. The issue is I feel like I either have to overeat at meals or hide food in order to have a small helping of seconds or take something for lunch the next day. Is this something that can be worked out or better to part ways if I can't deal with it. How likely is their fixation to change?

It can change if she recognizes (on her own) that she has a problem with food. Sounds like she is a compulsive overeater. I used to have a food obsession. A therapist told me about overeaters anonymous which is a 12 step program for people who have unhealthy relationships with food (be it over or under eating or bingeing and purging or exercise bulimia). I would be eating one meal and thinking about and planning the next. The obsession was the symptom of a larger problem —trauma, neglect etc. I have recovered from this and it took at lot of work.