Trauma from wfh with nanny....

[Anonymous]

I think it's just a quirk.

[Anonymous]

Read the news. Babies are being blown out of their mother’s arms in Gaza. Children in Sudan are also dying from starvation and violence.

The way Americans use the word trauma is making the word have no meaning at all. It’s used for every little thing, the word is diluted.

The OPs child will have difficulty coping as an adult if the parent blow things up like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the news. Babies are being blown out of their mother’s arms in Gaza. Children in Sudan are also dying from starvation and violence.

The way Americans use the word trauma is making the word have no meaning at all. It’s used for every little thing, the word is diluted.

The OPs child will have difficulty coping as an adult if the parent blow things up like that.

Too late for that! I’m sure he’s getting psych services as we speak to cope with being asked to leave a room with his brother so he could be supervised by a competent adult in a different room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...when I went back to work, I wfh for awhile with a nanny caring for them. This was fine until they developed object permanence and realized I was in the other room and would come in while I was in meetings. The nanny would bring them out and I always worried how this affected them. They are four now and one twin seems not affected but I wonder, if one twin was - he is way less affectionate than my other dc and has an attachment style whereby he will mostly be attached to dh, than switch to me and not want him, then back to him. I wonder if some of this is because we had a nanny while I wfh. Has anyone worried about something similar? Do you think your dc has trauma from it?

Trauma? that's not trauma. You had a bad nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...when I went back to work, I wfh for awhile with a nanny caring for them. This was fine until they developed object permanence and realized I was in the other room and would come in while I was in meetings. The nanny would bring them out and I always worried how this affected them. They are four now and one twin seems not affected but I wonder, if one twin was - he is way less affectionate than my other dc and has an attachment style whereby he will mostly be attached to dh, than switch to me and not want him, then back to him. I wonder if some of this is because we had a nanny while I wfh. Has anyone worried about something similar? Do you think your dc has trauma from it?

I don’t think this is unusual for 4 year olds. It’s not a trauma response. You sound overly anxious.

[Anonymous]

One of your twins seems to have inherited personality from you...

[Anonymous]

Fraternal right? Diff personalities.

Get some anti-anxiety meds and settle in. It's going to be a long ride....

[Anonymous]

I don’t know but I had some trauma from this when I was home with my second. When I stayed home with my third I let the nanny go because it was much easier to deal with three kids than it was to deal with children that didn’t want to be separated from me to go with the nanny.
The oldest is in college now. She seems to like me okay but honestly I’m still getting over how tough those six months were. It really was a breeze taking care of three, by comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this trauma has scarred him for life. At least you didn’t f up the other one.

WTF is wrong with you. Trauma??

[Anonymous]

Im glad you prioritized your career over bonding with your child. Luckily your ladder climbing endeavors enabled you to pay anotherwoman to perform that chore. Your holes obligation to the universe has been satisfied.

[Anonymous]

OP, assuming this is real, you are stretching the definition of "trauma" beyond any rational meaning. Take a pill or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know but I had some trauma from this when I was home with my second. When I stayed home with my third I let the nanny go because it was much easier to deal with three kids than it was to deal with children that didn’t want to be separated from me to go with the nanny.
The oldest is in college now. She seems to like me okay but honestly I’m still getting over how tough those six months were. It really was a breeze taking care of three, by comparison.

Your post is a perfect example of misusing the word trauma. That was not trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...when I went back to work, I wfh for awhile with a nanny caring for them. This was fine until they developed object permanence and realized I was in the other room and would come in while I was in meetings. The nanny would bring them out and I always worried how this affected them. They are four now and one twin seems not affected but I wonder, if one twin was - he is way less affectionate than my other dc and has an attachment style whereby he will mostly be attached to dh, than switch to me and not want him, then back to him. I wonder if some of this is because we had a nanny while I wfh. Has anyone worried about something similar? Do you think your dc has trauma from it?

They only found out because you look at them in.

[Anonymous]

i think you need to be off with their voices

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, no, your kids aren't traumatized.

Among hunter gatherers, infants are passed around to 8+ people per *hour*. Humans were not at all meant to be raised by one person and to spend 24 hours a day with one person. We were meant to be handed off to several adults.

Back when I was an undergrad, we watched documentaries on hunter-gatherers where mom would go off to forage for food and other adults watched the children. Yes, some of the kids cried and were sad mom left. The other adults just reassured them, a few hours later mom came back, everyone was fine. Nobody was traumatized.