| ...when I went back to work, I wfh for awhile with a nanny caring for them. This was fine until they developed object permanence and realized I was in the other room and would come in while I was in meetings. The nanny would bring them out and I always worried how this affected them. They are four now and one twin seems not affected but I wonder, if one twin was - he is way less affectionate than my other dc and has an attachment style whereby he will mostly be attached to dh, than switch to me and not want him, then back to him. I wonder if some of this is because we had a nanny while I wfh. Has anyone worried about something similar? Do you think your dc has trauma from it? |
| Assuming that the nanny was loving and appropriate, your son does not have trauma from being taken out of your office as a baby. He just has a different temperament. |
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Yes, this trauma has scarred him for life. At least you didn’t f up the other one.
WTF is wrong with you. Trauma?? |
| The two twins have different personalities, and that is the explanation. I have two kids (not twins) with very different attachment styles, even though they had similar care experiences. |
| Definitely. Quit your job and stay home with the twins to ensure no future damage is done. |
| Any trauma they might have is from their mom being a drama llama. |
| Trauma? Seriously, OP. |
| I hope you’re a troll. |
| It’s totally normal for kids to gravitate toward one parent and then change their preference. My kids were at home with me all day for year but when dad came home they got excited and wanted to be with him. But when they were sick or scared, they wanted me. Sometimes it felt like he was the favorite and sometimes it was me. It can be related to so many factors: stage of development, gender, parenting style, temperment, need for physical affection or comfort (that was always me), one parent is more fun, one is more a disciplinarian, etc. In our home, dad took them for donuts on the weekend and that was huge when they were preschoolers. But he also grew up in a more emotionally detached household and didn’t have patience for strong emotions (he got better!). It shifted many times over the years. |
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I don't think any trauma was caused. It's normal for kids to wander into rooms in their own home and space .. AND pick and choose which parent is their favorite. |
| Do you mean Drama? |
| Just put him up for adoption. You've clearly messed him up. Just keep the good one. |
| My twins were home with a nanny while we WFH during Covid. Everyone's fine now and the kids claim not to remember Covid times, either. Worrying about this is lunacy. |
Most definitely. We have an anti nanny troll |
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I wfh and have three kids (one is a baby though and does not yet realize I’m there).
They’re fine. Obviously I feel bad if they want me in moments they can’t have me but they’re very securely attached kids. One has adhd, but he’s not neurodiverse because I worked from home… |