College Freshman Blues (First Week/Month/Year)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google the W curve

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-w-curve-theory

And then tell your kids how it is natural to feel this way due to the culture shock.

+1 and be prepared for the post-winter-break 2nd semester readjustment challenges. That was worse for DD than 1st semester.

[Anonymous]

My DC is pretty overwhelmed. They seem to think everyone there is smarter. It’s imposter syndrome on Day 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we all just ignore the trolling frat bro who’s trying to take over all the threads please.

Oh my God, he is such a LOSER.

[Anonymous]

Okay frat bro is annoying as all get out. But with three kids in college, the one that rushed has the largest network of friends and is hte most social. Was instantly happy at college. Took the other two more time but they found their niche. Can't imagine them ever rushing so it is not the answer for all. But, I was pretty anti-Greek and love the positives for my child. Plus, they plan a lot of family things which give you chances to visit and connect with your children that can be easier than the drop-ins. So for college parents to be - don't rule out Greek Life automatically due to this douchebag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay frat bro is annoying as all get out. But with three kids in college, the one that rushed has the largest network of friends and is hte most social. Was instantly happy at college. Took the other two more time but they found their niche. Can't imagine them ever rushing so it is not the answer for all. But, I was pretty anti-Greek and love the positives for my child. Plus, they plan a lot of family things which give you chances to visit and connect with your children that can be easier than the drop-ins. So for college parents to be - don't rule out Greek Life automatically due to this douchebag.

Nobody is ruling it out.

[Anonymous]

My 18 year-old said something insightful as we were leaving him at college—“I wish I could fast-forward 6 weeks.” He knew as unsettled as he felt right then, he would probably feel much better in a few weeks. He did.

[Anonymous]

Its normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could it be that some parents push their kids to schools that are elitist, stuck up, and a f-ing grind instead of going with good in state schools where you are guaranteed to know at least a handful of kids and are only a few hours away from home. My kid is LOVING college and I'm afraid he'll never want to come back home.

Your kid sounds like a social animal. Other kids, who might thrive academically at what you call grind schools, will struggle socially at ANY school (and probably be more at a huge state school than a smaller private).

Different kids have different talents.

[Anonymous]

A lot of this discussion (including annoying frat bro’s perspective) has focused on the social adjustment. What about the academic adjustment? My DC graduated from a rigorous college prep school and is still completely freaked out by the academic prospect. They feel as though they’ve been thrown in the deep end. I’m sure this is normal too, but I worry about DC getting terribly discouraged. They have learning differences that make everything harder. Worried mom, here!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of this discussion (including annoying frat bro’s perspective) has focused on the social adjustment. What about the academic adjustment? My DC graduated from a rigorous college prep school and is still completely freaked out by the academic prospect. They feel as though they’ve been thrown in the deep end. I’m sure this is normal too, but I worry about DC getting terribly discouraged. They have learning differences that make everything harder. Worried mom, here!!

Same but my kid went to a mid public. He is freaked out. But they haven't even had a paper or test yet. They just need the chance to prove themselves and it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could it be that some parents push their kids to schools that are elitist, stuck up, and a f-ing grind instead of going with good in state schools where you are guaranteed to know at least a handful of kids and are only a few hours away from home. My kid is LOVING college and I'm afraid he'll never want to come back home.

Your kid sounds like a social animal. Other kids, who might thrive academically at what you call grind schools, will struggle socially at ANY school (and probably be more at a huge state school than a smaller private).

Different kids have different talents.

My ds seems to be doing fine socially but he is/was still super homesick and emotional. That said, it has now been 24 hours since I have heard from him so I take that as a good sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year-old said something insightful as we were leaving him at college—“I wish I could fast-forward 6 weeks.” He knew as unsettled as he felt right then, he would probably feel much better in a few weeks. He did.

Smart kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could it be that some parents push their kids to schools that are elitist, stuck up, and a f-ing grind instead of going with good in state schools where you are guaranteed to know at least a handful of kids and are only a few hours away from home. My kid is LOVING college and I'm afraid he'll never want to come back home.

Glad you child is happy, but this is a silly comment. Sure, some small number of kids choose prestige over fit and life to regret it, but the vast majority in those schools wouldn’t be happy at a state school and had no desire to be with kids they already know. No wrong answer, depends on kid, but this isn’t it.

I disagree. The kids I know who are the most miserable, chose or were pushed to choose based on “rank” or “perceived prestige”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could it be that some parents push their kids to schools that are elitist, stuck up, and a f-ing grind instead of going with good in state schools where you are guaranteed to know at least a handful of kids and are only a few hours away from home. My kid is LOVING college and I'm afraid he'll never want to come back home.

I have three. 2 in college. Both have loved loved loved it from day 1. Elon and Denison. Both are happy schools. Only downside is they dont call and rarely text. Having too much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could it be that some parents push their kids to schools that are elitist, stuck up, and a f-ing grind instead of going with good in state schools where you are guaranteed to know at least a handful of kids and are only a few hours away from home. My kid is LOVING college and I'm afraid he'll never want to come back home.

I have three. 2 in college. Both have loved loved loved it from day 1. Elon and Denison. Both are happy schools. Only downside is they dont call and rarely text. Having too much fun.

Can you keep these stories to another thread? This is for parents with kids who are struggling. Thank you.