If you were in an abusive relationship/marriage, how do you forgive

[Anonymous]

OP here.

It’s really interesting to read other people’s definitions of forgiveness. I appreciate the versions of forgiveness that distinguish between wishing them the best and moving on with my own life for my own health, but not restoring the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It’s really interesting to read other people’s definitions of forgiveness. I appreciate the versions of forgiveness that distinguish between wishing them the best and moving on with my own life for my own health, but not restoring the relationship.

That's the only version of forgiveness that worked for me. At some point, I couldn't carry around its weight anymore, so I forgave and moved on.

[Anonymous]

How did so many people convinced you to stay?
I didn't didn't have a single person around me doing so. Ex was horrible even to them. Friends left and family members just stayed away.
Most were glad I left and several supported me in every way possible including taking me in.
Are you sure they knew?

[Anonymous]

I came from a dysfunctional family and my relationship with older sister was abusive and parents did nothing. (She now has major issues getting along as an adult in personal and professional life). My mother also had abusive tendencies. I wouldn't say I forgive, because for the person has to be accountable and they aren't. I just practice radical acceptance. It sucks, it should never have happened. I was gaslit, abused, and it was hard, but I survived and now I am skilled at dealing with avoiding jerks in personal life and managing them professionally. I accept reality and also am grateful I was chose a good husband who is nothing like them.