Male friendships - what counts

[Anonymous]

Men are lonely because women work so now family life is all squeezed in the non-work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are lonely because women work so now family life is all squeezed in the non-work hours.

Doesn’t make sense. When only men worked, the only time he had for family life was during non work hours then too.

The difference is that back then wives accepted that husbands should get some time with their buddies, but today that causes wives (especially in the DCUM set) to start shrieking that he is selfish and irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are lonely because women work so now family life is all squeezed in the non-work hours.

Doesn’t make sense. When only men worked, the only time he had for family life was during non work hours then too.

The difference is that back then wives accepted that husbands should get some time with their buddies, but today that causes wives (especially in the DCUM set) to start shrieking that he is selfish and irresponsible.

m
I meant all the labor of family life ;’: cleaning, chores, etc which used to be accomplished during the week by a sahw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are lonely because women work so now family life is all squeezed in the non-work hours.

Doesn’t make sense. When only men worked, the only time he had for family life was during non work hours then too.

The difference is that back then wives accepted that husbands should get some time with their buddies, but today that causes wives (especially in the DCUM set) to start shrieking that he is selfish and irresponsible.

I meant all the labor of family life ;’: cleaning, chores, etc which used to be accomplished during the week by a sahw

Yet women complain that men don't do any of that stuff, so that can't be what's holding him back from hanging out with his guy friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was a pretty introspective discussion typical of how we lose friends. Men pivot to the family and in a way that doesn’t easily beget new friends (I’m friendly with my kids other dads but rarely had time to have those long idle hours where friendships bloom, proximity is key you know).

I am good at staying in touch with friends from high school and college, but only see them sporadically — like every few years but getting better now that kids are older and I can maybe go away for a weekend without undue hardship for family.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/25/magazine/male-friendships.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

In articles like this do they mean no local regular male friendships or none at all even long distance? I can’t image in having lost touch with everyone — but it’s possible because we moved to DC for work and had kids right away so no time to build friendships here.

Also, side note, the bike ride altercation sounds completely out of character, and I wonder if it’s from the podcasts binge? It was crazy based upon the image of what kind of mellow dude the author seemed.

If you get your information, and base your life views, from sources like the NYT, then I don't know what to tell you. That's entertainment reading. Same as all pulp garbage, so don't take it seriously.

As far as men and friends, I've seen that most men tend to keep friends from childhood, but harder to make friends as adults, because men are less sociable and more loner types or devoted to family.

Women on the other hand usually are more social-herd types, who crave female companionship.

There are exceptions to both obviously. I am one, as I don't like catty gossiping weak women and think more like a man.