Kids are really expensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeding, clothing, a bed to sleep in do not cost much.

Daycare (or earnings hit), bigger house, activities, college, and setting them up is what costs $$$. A lot of that is keeping up with the Joneses. We take it for granted that it’s all “necessary”. Myself included.

There are lower cost activities and you don't need a big house, you want one, same as keeping up with the Joneses. We choose to keep our small house so we can spend more on activities and save more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then wife stays home

Wife? You mean parent.

No, I meant wife.

Charming. You're a real catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why women find it more difficult than men to climb the ladder in this country.

Partly. But sexism plays a role, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fascinating article in the Post. For DC, if annual COL for a two-earner couple is $77,100 - an extra 55%, or 42,100 is needed to cover the cost of one child. Daycare is a huge part of that of course. No wonder people aren't having kids.

https://wapo.st/45hfpUx

Lots of interesting data in this article.

Next up in DCUM…water is wet. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

It's cheaper if the woman can stay at home and raise them, then work part time at the children's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's cheaper if the woman can stay at home and raise them, then work part time at the children's school.

Yes, but only if they are financially protected.

DH and I never had a prenup. I never contributed to the household and grew all my earnings. I am equal partner in all assets. No abuse, adultery, addiction. No debt. No chance of my marriage breaking. Secure job and good pension for my DH. College and retirement squared away. SFH squared away. Lots of term life and disability insurance. No plan for me to every reenter the work force. I have full control of our money. Inheriance from both sets of grandparents. Living below our means. Enough money to spend on a good lifestyle with cleaners, vacations etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

Ours did but then it was $25-$30k per year per kid. We have three and spent $500k in after tax money on childcare. I don’t know others do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's cheaper if the woman can stay at home and raise them, then work part time at the children's school.

It’s cheaper, but the woman (or man) can often make more money than enough money to cover daycare if she works, and then have a surplus when kids are out of daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why women find it more difficult than men to climb the ladder in this country.

Are there any countries where women actually “climb the ladder” more than in the US? Genuinely asking because it seems like even where they have subsidized daycare, women are still expected to be primary caregivers and face sexism.

[Anonymous]

That's why couples where one parent (usually but not always the woman) is a teacher or Nurse or some other profession they stay him for 2-3 kids and then reenter workforce party time or full time without much loss in seniority. But someone else has to be the main breadwinner.

[Anonymous]

Lots of wise women get a license and earn amazing money providing high quality care for other children.

As a self-supporting single mother, I did this. It enabled my child private schools and annual summer camp in New England.

My rates were higher than the most competitive local preschools.

No screens, of course. You can do a morning program to start. Some families want that. I received payments one month in advance, just like schools do. You need written contracts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

Ours did but then it was $25-$30k per year per kid. We have three and spent $500k in after tax money on childcare. I don’t know others do it.

Wow. If there are parents willing to spend this kind of money on childcare I need to go into the childcare business. Hate to say this but you got robbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

Ours did but then it was $25-$30k per year per kid. We have three and spent $500k in after tax money on childcare. I don’t know others do it.

Wow. If there are parents willing to spend this kind of money on childcare I need to go into the childcare business. Hate to say this but you got robbed.

Do you understand the critical importance of stability, competence and love during the first there foundational years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

Ours did but then it was $25-$30k per year per kid. We have three and spent $500k in after tax money on childcare. I don’t know others do it.

Wow. If there are parents willing to spend this kind of money on childcare I need to go into the childcare business. Hate to say this but you got robbed.

Do you understand the critical importance of stability, competence and love during the first there foundational years?

*first three foundational years