AITA DD Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Is he just going to live there all semester or just hitchhike back home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has been dating this guy for a year. Both are college age, but DD is in college and he is not. He's good looking and seems pleasant. They enjoy each others company so much they see each other every day. The issue for me is that he is not in school nor is he learning any trade or any job that will lead to promotions or even health benefits. In his working years since high school, he has no car yet he'll buy her a nice dinner out and likes to dress well.

She wants me to drive him to school with her when I drop her off. I said no way and I think after a year she should break up with him. He's going nowhere and I'm not doing anything to promote this relationship. She said she's not looking to get married and likes his company.
AITA?

Yes, you are.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m sorry your question got hijacked by a bunch of kids.
I wouldn’t drive him back. If he wants to virus get at her college, it’s on his dime. I agree he’s a dead weight that will only drag her down.

[Anonymous]

“Virus get” =visit her

Autocorrect

[Anonymous]

Does she have low self-esteem/bad luck with guys?

And I bet he ends up crashing with her for months, hobosexual style. Also think it’s crazy they split his costs to visit her. When did men stop being men.

[Anonymous]

I bet her new roommates in the group house would not much appreciate her showing up first thing with her boyfriend for a "few" days. I'd tell her no because it's simply not appropriate to move in WITH HER BOYFRIEND. if I were a parent of any of the other roommates moving in, I would def say something.

[Anonymous]

The OP is not promoting this relationship between her DD and this boy so no, I wouldn’t want him to tag along. He can take the Greyhound bus at another time. Assuming your DD is not a freshman, I am surprised they are still dating.

[Anonymous]

There’s probably drugs involved.

[Anonymous]

What kind of kid have you raised? She has no discernment and any kind of survival instinct. Being guided by her hormones. Make sure that she is on birth-control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of kid have you raised? She has no discernment and any kind of survival instinct. Being guided by her hormones. Make sure that she is on birth-control.

Would your response be different if the situation involved a son with a good looking, but nothing going on girlfriend? Does he have no survival skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he just going to live there all semester or just hitchhike back home?

No way is he coming back. He's trying to hitch on that wagon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of kid have you raised? She has no discernment and any kind of survival instinct. Being guided by her hormones. Make sure that she is on birth-control.

Would your response be different if the situation involved a son with a good looking, but nothing going on girlfriend? Does he have no survival skills?

Statistics prove that most violence is perpetuated by men against women. And men's self-worth is dependent on their careers. So this is terrible that a college going DD is attracted to this charming man who has nothing to recommend except his good looks and clothes.

My advice for him to wear rubber, and the woman to have BC would hold true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah but at least a mill worker, or nowadays, someone in the trades could earn a living. He would not be dependent upon her.

OP here - I would be happy if he could learn a trade or skill and gain decent employment.

Have you invited him over for dinner, treated him like a decent human being, met his parents, and figured out why, exactly, he's not more gainfully employed? Maybe he wants to become manager of a fast food chain one day, and go up the ladder that way. You can ask him what his plans are if you get to know him.

OP here - yes, I have been kind, and asked questions. Most conversation is very superficial. He said his parents wouldn't pay for college but my DD heard his mother say otherwise. He once said he thought he could be a model. He spends a lot, too, on sneakers and clothes. I think I know why he doesn't have a car even after working. I don't need DD to get a rich guy, just someone who will be a partner not a, well, leach.

It’s leech. Did YOU go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s probably drugs involved.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet her new roommates in the group house would not much appreciate her showing up first thing with her boyfriend for a "few" days. I'd tell her no because it's simply not appropriate to move in WITH HER BOYFRIEND. if I were a parent of any of the other roommates moving in, I would def say something.

This happened to me in college and it was uncomfortable and awful. Most women don't want an out-of-town boyfriend moving in. The other parents will definitely not be pleased. Frame it this way if you need to take the heat off yourself!