How to elevate at-home bithday party for teen turning 17?

[Anonymous]

I think your teen is the best judge of what she would enjoy and what her friend group would enjoy.
I think you may be projecting your own fears and insecurities onto this.
Either it will be a fun party and the kids will have a good time, or it won't and your teen will learn something about hosting. Either outcome is fine.

[Anonymous]

I have a recent HS graduate and a rising HS junior. Since starting high school, most of their birthdays have been hanging out at home with their friends. They choose the food. No activities, because they just like to hang out and talk. For hours.

Most of their friends’ parties are the same.

[Anonymous]

Ask her. Would they like sushi? A makeup party? Karaoke? As others have said, it’s her party. Support whatever she thinks will be fun. If it turns out to be less than awesome, she can rethink things for the next celebration.

[Anonymous]

High Noons!

Just kidding-

[Anonymous]

My DD's at home parties have been similar. She asks one person to be in charge of the music and bring a portable speaker. They sit around and talk a lot. They eat and we do a cake.

We help to prep whatever food she's decided on. One time it was cooked ingredients, sauces, and toppings for make-you-own pasta bowls. Another time Chipotle-style-bowls at home. Sushi platters are fun, too.

A few decorations would elevate the occasion, but only with her approval.

Crafty friends would appreciate an organized activity, but some might find it too kiddish.

[Anonymous]

I’d ask if she would like something like a fancy order in (taco bar or sushi boat or something) rather than just pizza. That could make it feel more like an event rather than just a “hang.”

Maybe also something like order a bunch of the extensive nail polish if she’s into that? Or nicer jewelry making supplies if they are into that? There’s probably a way to take whatever she wants to do and kick it up a notch if that’s what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Interactive/activity at a restaurant has been a hit for us. Places where you build your own pizza, korean bbq, fondue, or korean hot pot. Do any of these excite her?

[Anonymous]

a "catered" dinner - a lot of the fast casual places do this. sparkling cider? buying a new game that she's into? an outdoor movie night with popcorn, candy, and soda? murder mystery party type game depending on the size of the group.

keep it simple!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 17. We have had the same format for the past 3-4 parties: dinner and board games at home; sometimes, we throw in a craft like decorating canvas bags with fabric markers. I am begging her to have her birthday gathering at a restaurant but she prefers to invite friends over, but I feel like it's almost not even age appropriate. What activities can I add or how can I enhance the gathering so it seems more age-appropriate?

You would be wrong. I’m in my 40s, and this sounds like an ideal birthday party to me. I just want a quiet night with my friends.

OP, try to dig into what you’re feeling. Is it embarassment? If so, what do you make up that other people are thinking or feeling? You need to manage your emotions around this.

+1 even many adults are happy to have bday parties like this. In college and 20s we didn't because most people didn't have the space to host. I still love a good house party or dinner party more than most "going out" or restaurant experiences.

For your DD age it also lets them talk and relax for longer than a restaurant meal usually goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 17. We have had the same format for the past 3-4 parties: dinner and board games at home; sometimes, we throw in a craft like decorating canvas bags with fabric markers. I am begging her to have her birthday gathering at a restaurant but she prefers to invite friends over, but I feel like it's almost not even age appropriate. What activities can I add or how can I enhance the gathering so it seems more age-appropriate?

Your child is not as cool as you want her to be, but she's happy and she has friends and they will have a great time. GET OVER IT.

[Anonymous]

My kid always had birthday parties at home. His friends always had parties in some fun locations like mini golf, airplane museum, arcade, trampoline etc.

Believe it or not he likes more the ones at home, and in the past few years his best friend started to have his at home too. They are more comfortable, intimate, and kids have more fun since you don’t have to leave at a set time, you do what you want etc.

I get catered food from a restaurant he likes, and an ice cream cake that’s always a hit.

[Anonymous]

It's kinda great that she wants a home party. That's how it used to be before the Kardashians and Instagram influencers got everyone thinking a birthday had to be an EVENT.

[Anonymous]

Have her and one or two of the friends make a cheese and charcuterie platter. Then some fun activity like make your own sushi or pasta bar.

[Anonymous]

At 17, this is the perfect opportunity to let her plan the whole thing from menu, activities, time, etc. It will be good for her to start practicing what it entails to be a hostess.

Maybe it will be nothing solid besides frozen pizza and chips, or maybe she will plan some fun crafts or games, prepare 3 or 4 special snacks in advance and send out fun invites.

Let her plan and order or make the cake, decide on drinks, learn that either the girls got bored, so next time she needs to have more activities, or her friends didn't care about activities and just wanted to sit around and have girl talk (probably while looking at their phones).