Update: Coworker who grabbed me

[Anonymous]

Please tell your manager and/or HR!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He grabbed you physically? That's assault. If it happened as you say it did, tell your employer, in writing, where, when, and by whom you were assaulted and tell them you are likely to contact the police. You will be asked, by them and if you contact the, police, if there are any witnesses. They are not required, but obviously strengthen your claim. You will be asked why you didn't report it sooner. Say while you felt threatened, you have only learned the act qualified as assault and now want to report it to police. Keep in mind, being creepy or gross does not violate any law, but grabbing you physically is assault.

Op needs to deal with this co worker and go to HR, but people like you claiming assault make women sound like snowflake idiots.

DP, and a lawyer, but what the OP describes falls within the legal definition of assault. There isn't another way to describe it. Actually both the grabbing and the lewd tongue flicking thing near her ear both constitute assault in most jurisdictions (some places would categorize the grabbing as battery, which I'm sure would make you crazy).

I cannot imagine why calling something what it is would make a woman sound like a "snowflake idiot."

Stop trying to play lawyer.

Assault in most jurisdictions is an action with intent to cause physical harm. If op says she is ‘going to the police!!’ she will look nuts and lose credibility. A woman is able to express discomfort about this situation - and it was certainly wrong and highly inappropriate- without unnecessarily exaggerating what happened.

Define “playing lawyer”. PP is apparently an actual lawyer.

First, doubtful. Second, not any sort of lawyer who deals with real life criminal law. Ask me how I might know that... but sure, encourage OP to go to the police and waste her time, and also look like she may be part of the problem - an eggshell plaintiff. She has a valid complaint but she will look uncredible if she does this.

[Anonymous]

I am the Op.
thank you to everyone.

In my previous post I did mention how he was waiting for me outside the womens changing area when I had only worked there for a month.
Also how he patronizes me. Because I completely stopped looking at him he doesn’t do those kinds of things anymore.
However he’s messing with me, and someone I know told me that he just wants my attention. He’s harmless but just joking. This man is 40+. this is just not OK behavior. I feel uneasy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am the Op.
thank you to everyone.

In my previous post I did mention how he was waiting for me outside the womens changing area when I had only worked there for a month.
Also how he patronizes me. Because I completely stopped looking at him he doesn’t do those kinds of things anymore.
However he’s messing with me, and someone I know told me that he just wants my attention. He’s harmless but just joking. This man is 40+. this is just not OK behavior. I feel uneasy

So many posters told you to talk to HR but you don’t even acknowledge the advice. You dont have HR in your company? Talk to the owner then. Or you just want to vent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am the Op.
thank you to everyone.

In my previous post I did mention how he was waiting for me outside the womens changing area when I had only worked there for a month.
Also how he patronizes me. Because I completely stopped looking at him he doesn’t do those kinds of things anymore.
However he’s messing with me, and someone I know told me that he just wants my attention. He’s harmless but just joking. This man is 40+. this is just not OK behavior. I feel uneasy

So many posters told you to talk to HR but you don’t even acknowledge the advice. You dont have HR in your company? Talk to the owner then. Or you just want to vent?

Hr protects the company. Not me. Its not exactly welcoming me
/OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am the Op.
thank you to everyone.

In my previous post I did mention how he was waiting for me outside the womens changing area when I had only worked there for a month.
Also how he patronizes me. Because I completely stopped looking at him he doesn’t do those kinds of things anymore.
However he’s messing with me, and someone I know told me that he just wants my attention. He’s harmless but just joking. This man is 40+. this is just not OK behavior. I feel uneasy

So many posters told you to talk to HR but you don’t even acknowledge the advice. You dont have HR in your company? Talk to the owner then. Or you just want to vent?

Hr protects the company. Not me. Its not exactly welcoming me
/OP

What does it mean they are not welcoming you? Did you make a report?

[Anonymous]

Time to find a new job

[Anonymous]

Was it good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am the Op.
thank you to everyone.

In my previous post I did mention how he was waiting for me outside the womens changing area when I had only worked there for a month.
Also how he patronizes me. Because I completely stopped looking at him he doesn’t do those kinds of things anymore.
However he’s messing with me, and someone I know told me that he just wants my attention. He’s harmless but just joking. This man is 40+. this is just not OK behavior. I feel uneasy

So many posters told you to talk to HR but you don’t even acknowledge the advice. You dont have HR in your company? Talk to the owner then. Or you just want to vent?

Hr protects the company. Not me. Its not exactly welcoming me
/OP

DP
That is not entirely untrue BUT part of protecting the company is ensuring they don’t get sued for harassment etc. And this guy is a liability. I’d go to HR

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I posted here about a coworker who grabbed me and flicked his tongue in and out quickly, super close to my face.

It’s a blue collar job.

I stopped looking at him so he won’t talk to me. And it worked.

However now he wont stop staring. And he’ll be quiet but if he walks past me he starts singing or makes a noise. This is the kind of behavior where anything I do will make me look crazy. Because he doesn’t act this way infront of others.

Would you quit?

You have some obsessive issues you should think about and deal with OP.

It's not him, you will fixate on something or someone else after this guy. It's you. Not saying that to be snarky, but it's obvious.

[Anonymous]

I would have a chat to the police about him, first. Just in case something happens. I’d also start a email document trail with all details. Third, I would contact hr and say that you want hidden cameras placed around the office, including outside the change areas or wherever he stalked you last time. Tell them that you’ve already spoken to the police and that you’re keeping electronic records of everything, including your request that they install hidden cameras. They will know that’s code for you will sue them one day if there’s a bigger problem and they don’t do something about it now.

[Anonymous]

If hr or your supervisor isn't interested, follow the advice from the pp above. Make sure your relatives know this guys name and have a picture in case you go missing.

You need to be a new job before he escalates OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He grabbed you physically? That's assault. If it happened as you say it did, tell your employer, in writing, where, when, and by whom you were assaulted and tell them you are likely to contact the police. You will be asked, by them and if you contact the, police, if there are any witnesses. They are not required, but obviously strengthen your claim. You will be asked why you didn't report it sooner. Say while you felt threatened, you have only learned the act qualified as assault and now want to report it to police. Keep in mind, being creepy or gross does not violate any law, but grabbing you physically is assault.

Op needs to deal with this co worker and go to HR, but people like you claiming assault make women sound like snowflake idiots.

DP, and a lawyer, but what the OP describes falls within the legal definition of assault. There isn't another way to describe it. Actually both the grabbing and the lewd tongue flicking thing near her ear both constitute assault in most jurisdictions (some places would categorize the grabbing as battery, which I'm sure would make you crazy).

I cannot imagine why calling something what it is would make a woman sound like a "snowflake idiot."

Stop trying to play lawyer.

Assault in most jurisdictions is an action with intent to cause physical harm. If op says she is ‘going to the police!!’ she will look nuts and lose credibility. A woman is able to express discomfort about this situation - and it was certainly wrong and highly inappropriate- without unnecessarily exaggerating what happened.

Define “playing lawyer”. PP is apparently an actual lawyer.

First, doubtful. Second, not any sort of lawyer who deals with real life criminal law. Ask me how I might know that... but sure, encourage OP to go to the police and waste her time, and also look like she may be part of the problem - an eggshell plaintiff. She has a valid complaint but she will look uncredible if she does this.

Real life criminal attorney here. Assault is offensive physical contact. This qualifies if OP did not welcome the contact. Could also be a low grade sexual assault. The police would 💯 follow up on this because they don’t want to be responsible when he later rapes someone.
I am astounded she’s dealt with it by not dealing with it.

[Anonymous]

I’m not normally a fan of going to HR but in this case I think you should

[Anonymous]

Just keep ignoring this loser. He'll move on eventually.