DS only texts and calls his dad

[Anonymous]

OP, you may be interacting with your son in a way that makes him feel like a child.

Not judging.

However, when boys are seeking independence, they are likely to step away from you if you make them feel that way.. If your husband interacts with him more like a coach or someone who provides guidance while respecting his autonomy, your son is more likely to turn to him.

You do have to parent teens differently if you want them to continue talking to you. I would take the way your son is interacting with you as a signal that he wants a different kind of relationship with you.

Maybe look at some PEP classes for parenting teens?

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just turned 16. I'm divorced from his dad, but it is very amicable and we still do things together fairly regularly (like once or twice a month) as a family. DS is pleasant enough to me, but he is away all summer at a pre college program and has basically been responding with one word answers to my texts. My ex mentioned something about DS and a girl he is interested in, and I asked him how he knew - my ex said he has been texting him and calling him regularly. I feel hurt by this. I'm not sure why DS prefers to be in contact only with his dad and not me. I asked my ex why he thought this was and he said he really didn't know and suggested that maybe boys only become closer with their moms as young adults. Is this typical and am I wrong to feel hurt?

Older boys tend to gravitate to their dads more. Same with older teens of both genders really.

Man mom's can often be too intense or invasive and not laid back. Chillax and be friendly like a man would be, that's always worked for me.

[Anonymous]

+1. Also, if things are so amicable, why are you divorced?

Strange question. There's lot of people I can get along with well on an occasional basis that I don't want living in my home and to have a sexual relationship with.

[Anonymous]

It's likely that there is something about the way you interact with him that he probably finds annoying. This is pretty normal. It's also hard to fix at this point. He probably expects you to be annoying and keeps it brief as a result, which gives you no opportunity to change the way you interact with him. It might help though to reflect on previous conversations and try to be honest about whether you were saying things that could have put him off.

[Anonymous]

It's likely that there is something about the way you interact with him that he probably finds annoying. This is pretty normal. It's also hard to fix at this point. He probably expects you to be annoying and keeps it brief as a result, which gives you no opportunity to change the way you interact with him. It might help though to reflect on previous conversations and try to be honest about whether you were saying things that could have put him off.

It could be but generally I can tell when something I say annoys him. I know it annoys him when I comment on his driving, but since I am partially responsible for teaching him to drive, I can't give zero feedback. I haven't seen him be visibly annoyed in other contexts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's likely that there is something about the way you interact with him that he probably finds annoying. This is pretty normal. It's also hard to fix at this point. He probably expects you to be annoying and keeps it brief as a result, which gives you no opportunity to change the way you interact with him. It might help though to reflect on previous conversations and try to be honest about whether you were saying things that could have put him off.

It could be but generally I can tell when something I say annoys him. I know it annoys him when I comment on his driving, but since I am partially responsible for teaching him to drive, I can't give zero feedback. I haven't seen him be visibly annoyed in other contexts.

Some things boys won't talk about with their moms or even their dads.

[Anonymous]

Married - our son same age switches.