Back on the job market after 11 years out of work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved for DH’s job and after a few temporary consulting jobs (not in DC), one while I was pregnant, I never got another after I had my child. Naturally DH used me being at home to ramp up his career and then began chasing promotions. I tried to go back to work but he always had a reason that he wouldn’t support it- he needed to travel more and couldn’t help with childcare, he was making so much money it wasn’t worth it, etc. Eventually I stopped getting nibbles for jobs so I focused on volunteer board work while raising our DC and doing all the work at home and parenting and accepted that his salary was more than enough to support us forever.

I have a t5 MBA and an undergrad ivy degree, which if anything are working against me because I’m old and irrelevant to the job market.

But DH has had a mental health break of some kid and has turned on us. I have a lawyer, and my DC will have enough money but I will only have long-term retirement savings and enough to live on for ~3 years. I desperately need a new start on a career so I have enough money to survive and not burden DC in my old age. I’m 46.

Where do I start? My former colleagues and friends from grad school and volunteering have said all of the right things, but my experience and age are limiting.

This is the plot of The Good Wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. You are going to have to hustle. Make sure that your skills are up to date and as much as possible try to get ahead of the curve especially in this AI obsessed business landscape. Network obsessively. Use LinkedIn and reconnect with everyone you knew before parenthood. If you tell us where in the country you are and/or what if any specific consulting you did, there may be people who can offer more specific suggestions. Gooc luck!

West coast.

Brand strategy/product and design management (hard product, minimal digital work) and some work in TV and publishing before that. Zero of the jobs I used to do even exist anymore, which is alarming. Many of them have been swallowed up whole by a combination of digitization, AI, outsourcing, and mergers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved for DH’s job and after a few temporary consulting jobs (not in DC), one while I was pregnant, I never got another after I had my child. Naturally DH used me being at home to ramp up his career and then began chasing promotions. I tried to go back to work but he always had a reason that he wouldn’t support it- he needed to travel more and couldn’t help with childcare, he was making so much money it wasn’t worth it, etc. Eventually I stopped getting nibbles for jobs so I focused on volunteer board work while raising our DC and doing all the work at home and parenting and accepted that his salary was more than enough to support us forever.

I have a t5 MBA and an undergrad ivy degree, which if anything are working against me because I’m old and irrelevant to the job market.

But DH has had a mental health break of some kid and has turned on us. I have a lawyer, and my DC will have enough money but I will only have long-term retirement savings and enough to live on for ~3 years. I desperately need a new start on a career so I have enough money to survive and not burden DC in my old age. I’m 46.

Where do I start? My former colleagues and friends from grad school and volunteering have said all of the right things, but my experience and age are limiting.

This is the plot of The Good Wife.

Is this the tv show? I vaguely remember her being a lawyer, which goes back to my earlier comment about everyone I know who jumped back in or sustained a career having law or medical credentials. I never regretted not going to law school in my 20s but do now. The one divorced SAHM I know was an attorney before 6 years off and was easily rehired for doc review.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any contacts who could recommend you for leave cover positions? These often aren’t posted. An industry colleague of mine was impressed with a former SAHM who was working a maternity cover role at her company and passed along her resume to me when I had a permanent opening. I hired her for a great senior level position and she has been terrific. Hiring parents who are coming back from a career break also normalizes these life experiences for junior staff, which I think is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

This is just code for "you're too old" and is straight up age discrimination, but it would be hard to prove.

There's nothing wrong with teaching, but you can find something more relevant to your background. Keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I re-entered after a shorter period but I do have some thoughts. First of all, you can fudge people's perception of your age a little bit, by just not disclosing it. Take graduation dates off your resume. Color your hair if you aren't. Get a good LinkedIn photo in which you look sharp and professional.

The most important thing, I think, is to have something at the top of your resume that is recent. The board work could be good especially if related to the area you're targeting. You can also take some online skills classes, earn certificates, and put those on. It seems trivial but it helps you look engaged. This helped me get hired in a new industry.

You are not so old, and you have time to have a solid career ahead of you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

Starting over again is a small price to pay for watching your kid grow up and not letting someone else raise them.

Oh good always love a #mommywar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

?? what?? you think you are not better than a kid fresh out of college? I'd hire you above them easily. They aren't your competition nor should they be. Don't sell yourself short.

Yes a kid fresh out college will be better than a genxer who hasn’t worked since the premier of Hamilton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

This is just code for "you're too old" and is straight up age discrimination, but it would be hard to prove.

There's nothing wrong with teaching, but you can find something more relevant to your background. Keep looking.

In this job market? You need to get a teaching job asap before all the laid off Feds and tech workers scoop them up.

[Anonymous]

My friend who lives in Boston area left the workforce to raise her kids until they went to college so she stopped working 15-20 years. Undergrad Finance major with MBA. She did a ton of volunteer work at school and in community … fundraising, festivals, school libraries, software implementation projects at school.

She ended up going to work for a local bank and is now a commercial loan officer (she started lower level). She loves the job, no age discrimination.

Good luck! 46 is still young!

[Anonymous]

^^ I’m pretty sure my friend landed her job from networking within the community especially since she has met a lot of folks while volunteering.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.[/quote]

Starting over again is a small price to pay for watching your kid grow up and not letting someone else raise them.[/quote]

Oh good always love a #mommywar[/quote]


Yes, love the stay at homes judging those that worked. Have news for you, many of us did both. All good until the gravy train ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

This is just code for "you're too old" and is straight up age discrimination, but it would be hard to prove.

There's nothing wrong with teaching, but you can find something more relevant to your background. Keep looking.

In this job market? You need to get a teaching job asap before all the laid off Feds and tech workers scoop them up.

DP. Can we stop throwing teaching around as some easy, readily available option?

Teaching isn’t remotely easy, nor are most people prepared to simply jump into the classroom. It does a disservice to students and to existing teachers, who have to give up their precious planning time to cover classes when others quit.

If you’re genuinely interested in the work to become a strong teacher, then that’s a different sorry. But I think you’ll find it a short-lived backup career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

This is just code for "you're too old" and is straight up age discrimination, but it would be hard to prove.

There's nothing wrong with teaching, but you can find something more relevant to your background. Keep looking.

In this job market? You need to get a teaching job asap before all the laid off Feds and tech workers scoop them up.

DP. Can we stop throwing teaching around as some easy, readily available option?

Teaching isn’t remotely easy, nor are most people prepared to simply jump into the classroom. It does a disservice to students and to existing teachers, who have to give up their precious planning time to cover classes when others quit.

If you’re genuinely interested in the work to become a strong teacher, then that’s a different sorry. But I think you’ll find it a short-lived backup career.

OP and our kid’s former school, a private, was constantly begging for substitutes and would even include it in the August/September back to school information for parents. I didn’t mean to say that it was an easy job that anyone could just waltz into, but clearly there is active recruiting going on for people with other professional experience if I’m hearing it both from that school and from people in my network. There haven’t been any other jobs I’ve encountered that are proactively inviting inexperienced 40-somethings to apply. If I don’t apply for that job in principle, I don’t think it will do anything to prevent devaluation of education, sadly.

My first two degrees are in STEM and my board experience is concentrated in education and school governance, so that’s probably why people’s suggestions for me have trended that way.

[Anonymous]

^on principle