Back on the job market after 11 years out of work

[Anonymous]

We moved for DH’s job and after a few temporary consulting jobs (not in DC), one while I was pregnant, I never got another after I had my child. Naturally DH used me being at home to ramp up his career and then began chasing promotions. I tried to go back to work but he always had a reason that he wouldn’t support it- he needed to travel more and couldn’t help with childcare, he was making so much money it wasn’t worth it, etc. Eventually I stopped getting nibbles for jobs so I focused on volunteer board work while raising our DC and doing all the work at home and parenting and accepted that his salary was more than enough to support us forever.

I have a t5 MBA and an undergrad ivy degree, which if anything are working against me because I’m old and irrelevant to the job market.

But DH has had a mental health break of some kid and has turned on us. I have a lawyer, and my DC will have enough money but I will only have long-term retirement savings and enough to live on for ~3 years. I desperately need a new start on a career so I have enough money to survive and not burden DC in my old age. I’m 46.

Where do I start? My former colleagues and friends from grad school and volunteering have said all of the right things, but my experience and age are limiting.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask why you aren’t getting more alimony? You should talk to a few lawyers you should be getting money for longer than a few years. How long were you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask why you aren’t getting more alimony? You should talk to a few lawyers you should be getting money for longer than a few years. How long were you married?

NP.

Reading the OP, maybe DH isn't the one with the mental health break.

[Anonymous]

Talk to alums from your school who are not your close friends. You need to go broader and have a higher volume of inquiries.

Anyone who is friendly to career women knows what your situation is likely to be. They will help if they can and want to.

Ask for an entry-level MBA position or a business manager/exec support (but not an admin role). As a woman with a top MBA who has been nearly continuously employed since graduation, I was always terrified that a career break would screw up my life and finances. I did mommytrack myself though. My impression is that there are still entry-level MBA jobs that are no more difficult than when we got out of school and don't require specific skills. It's just hard to get them.

[Anonymous]

I have an MBA (not from a T5) and I was able to re-enter the workforce after an 11 year break in 2018. I’m 49 now so I was 42 then. I think your biggest barrier is going to be the tough job market (if you’re in the DC area). I used FlexForce Professionals to help me find my first job (they specialize in helping women re-enter the workforce after). In my first job back I started at $85k and now I’m making around $225 )in a different job at a different company) so it can be done! Best wishes, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask why you aren’t getting more alimony? You should talk to a few lawyers you should be getting money for longer than a few years. How long were you married?

My state’s calculation works out to 2-3 years of alimony for 10 years of marriage. -OP

[Anonymous]

Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Call your MBA career services and ask for advice and see if they can connect you with alumni who are hiring. Attend alumni events from your former business school.

Apply for entry level and then a step up from entry level. Cast a wide net- private sector, public sector, nonprofits, higher education. Look for parental leave cover and temporary roles so you can beef up your resume and then use that to step into something else/ get a new reference/ make connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

?? what?? you think you are not better than a kid fresh out of college? I'd hire you above them easily. They aren't your competition nor should they be. Don't sell yourself short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

?? what?? you think you are not better than a kid fresh out of college? I'd hire you above them easily. They aren't your competition nor should they be. Don't sell yourself short.

OP and I don’t live in DC and I do think there is a strong bias towards younger employees where I live. It doesn’t help that a lot of people where I live were pushed out at 45-50 so hiring managers are often 30-35. The people I know who have sustainable careers through their 50s are all credentialed- either lawyers or in medicine. I did work briefly at two companies on projects with people much younger than me and it was hard because the culture of the job revolved around stretched-out work days and after work socializing, which wasn’t easy for someone who is responsible for a child. I definitely got dinged for not being a joiner 5 days/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

Starting over again is a small price to pay for watching your kid grow up and not letting someone else raise them.

[Anonymous]

First, this is an opportunity, OP. It may not seem like it but you are still young enough to have a great career. What sorts of things are you interested in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably only getting rehabilitative alimony because of credentials and 15 years marriage. This is why I would not ever give up my job. You will need to start at the bottom again. Good luck OP.

I would appreciate advice about starting at the bottom. I have tried and I am getting the feedback (indirectly, not from the hiring managers because pretty sure that would be illegal) that my experience isn’t the right fit and they would rather have a cohesive team, train from the beginning, etc.

Is there an industry or specific fields that are open to experienced hires basically starting from scratch? The only suggestions I’ve received so far are substitute teaching and working towards certification, and at this point it seems like it may be my only option.

?? what?? you think you are not better than a kid fresh out of college? I'd hire you above them easily. They aren't your competition nor should they be. Don't sell yourself short.

OP and I don’t live in DC and I do think there is a strong bias towards younger employees where I live. It doesn’t help that a lot of people where I live were pushed out at 45-50 so hiring managers are often 30-35. The people I know who have sustainable careers through their 50s are all credentialed- either lawyers or in medicine. I did work briefly at two companies on projects with people much younger than me and it was hard because the culture of the job revolved around stretched-out work days and after work socializing, which wasn’t easy for someone who is responsible for a child. I definitely got dinged for not being a joiner 5 days/week.

I would remove my graduation date from the resume and remove some work experience. It might be better if they think you are closer to entry level.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. You are going to have to hustle. Make sure that your skills are up to date and as much as possible try to get ahead of the curve especially in this AI obsessed business landscape. Network obsessively. Use LinkedIn and reconnect with everyone you knew before parenthood. If you tell us where in the country you are and/or what if any specific consulting you did, there may be people who can offer more specific suggestions. Gooc luck!