Husband Can’t Stop Staring at Beach Girls—Am I Overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop cryin ur man aint blind lol

Good luck with that, and you deserve someone like the OP husband.
The dude has no self control. Imagine what he does online.

Check the hard drive :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop cryin ur man aint blind lol

Good luck with that, and you deserve someone like the OP husband.
The dude has no self control. Imagine what he does online.

Probably occasionally looks at porn, like the vast majority of men.

[Anonymous]

It appears the pitch fork mobs have arrived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

What children did OP mention? 18-year-old adults who can sign contracts and attend college? Words lose meaning when not applied properly.

[Anonymous]

It's not normal

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. This time will pass. I think you're feeling particularly vulnerable and being surrounded by girls in bikinis didn't help. But I'd be less worried about whether he noticed them (he probably did) and more about how he responded when you asked him about it. He could have been kinder and given you some reassurance but chose to be dismissive.

Be straightforward with him about what your body has been through/is going through. Give him the full scope. Explain you want to get back to feeling good in many areas (including in the bedroom) and him being supportive would be a big help in getting there. He acted like a dick but I do think communicating openly, talking about how tough this phase of life is (even if you really enjoy your baby!) and how you look forward to the future will help him keep things in perspective and understand his role better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

What children did OP mention? 18-year-old adults who can sign contracts and attend college? Words lose meaning when not applied properly.

You, op and ops husband have no idea how old girls on the beach are. Quite telling that op used the word “girls”. Girls are children. Are you also a pedo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. This time will pass. I think you're feeling particularly vulnerable and being surrounded by girls in bikinis didn't help. But I'd be less worried about whether he noticed them (he probably did) and more about how he responded when you asked him about it. He could have been kinder and given you some reassurance but chose to be dismissive.

Be straightforward with him about what your body has been through/is going through. Give him the full scope. Explain you want to get back to feeling good in many areas (including in the bedroom) and him being supportive would be a big help in getting there. He acted like a dick but I do think communicating openly, talking about how tough this phase of life is (even if you really enjoy your baby!) and how you look forward to the future will help him keep things in perspective and understand his role better.

Great advice, hopefully he apologizes for acting like a creepy AH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I have never felt this way. I don't really get why women get upset about this, tbh. I look at people in bikinis too. It's hard not to! As long as they couldn't tell where he was looking, and he kept it in check, I think it's okay. It sounds like it wasn't really "oogling" in the sense that any of them would have felt uncomfortable? I think that's an important distinction.

But it sounds like your main problem is you're not having sex as much as you want to so I would just focus on that as far as relationship issues. That is a lot more important than sunglassed-beach-looking, isn't it?

I agree. He is probably horned up, and she is feeling frumpy, but they both seem to be at an impasse with a lack of sex and intimacy.

Everyone enjoys looking at attractive people; there are billion-dollar industries built around this. Especially, half-naked young adults at the beach. My husband and I point them out to each other with a knowing glance when we see attractive people. It is called being alive and having eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

What children did OP mention? 18-year-old adults who can sign contracts and attend college? Words lose meaning when not applied properly.

You, op and ops husband have no idea how old girls on the beach are. Quite telling that op used the word “girls”. Girls are children. Are you also a pedo?

That’s funny I’ve watched girls gone wild for years, never knew it was illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not normal

It is normal. It’s really hard to tell from OP’s post how often he was looking but it’s perfectly normal to glance at people on the beach. If he was really staring/ogling then that’s not ok but it’s hard to tell if that’s OP’s insecurity coming thru or not.

[Anonymous]

OP you say you are still recovering after 8 months.
Do you mean medically (rips, tears, prolapse, breastfeeding )or do you mean weight and being in shape? Energy? PPD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

What children did OP mention? 18-year-old adults who can sign contracts and attend college? Words lose meaning when not applied properly.

You, op and ops husband have no idea how old girls on the beach are. Quite telling that op used the word “girls”. Girls are children. Are you also a pedo?

Whoa, jumping to “pedo” over the word “girls” is a stretch and a half. On DCUM, people toss around “girls” all the time for women of all ages—think “girls’ night out.” It’s casual, not a legal document. Without actual evidence of creepy behavior, this is just stirring the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

What children did OP mention? 18-year-old adults who can sign contracts and attend college? Words lose meaning when not applied properly.

You, op and ops husband have no idea how old girls on the beach are. Quite telling that op used the word “girls”. Girls are children. Are you also a pedo?

Whoa, jumping to “pedo” over the word “girls” is a stretch and a half. On DCUM, people toss around “girls” all the time for women of all ages—think “girls’ night out.” It’s casual, not a legal document. Without actual evidence of creepy behavior, this is just stirring the pot.

Hey OP, your DH would love to stretch one of them out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I have never felt this way. I don't really get why women get upset about this, tbh. I look at people in bikinis too. It's hard not to! As long as they couldn't tell where he was looking, and he kept it in check, I think it's okay. It sounds like it wasn't really "oogling" in the sense that any of them would have felt uncomfortable? I think that's an important distinction.

But it sounds like your main problem is you're not having sex as much as you want to so I would just focus on that as far as relationship issues. That is a lot more important than sunglassed-beach-looking, isn't it?

I agree. He is probably horned up, and she is feeling frumpy, but they both seem to be at an impasse with a lack of sex and intimacy.

Everyone enjoys looking at attractive people; there are billion-dollar industries built around this. Especially, half-naked young adults at the beach. My husband and I point them out to each other with a knowing glance when we see attractive people. It is called being alive and having eyes.

Also agree. I feel like everyone (including OP) is missing the major issue - connection between OP and her husband, not bikinis.