Husband Can’t Stop Staring at Beach Girls—Am I Overreacting?

[Anonymous]

We took our toddler to ocean city for a family day. I’m still recovering from giving birth to our son 8 months ago, and let’s just say our bedroom has been… quiet (like, ONE time since the baby). I’m feeling frumpy and exhausted, but trying to hold it together. Meanwhile, my husband spent the WHOLE day ogling girls in bikinis—some looked way too young, like…maybe barely 18. I caught him staring multiple times, and he didn’t even try to hide it. He acted initially like he was sleeping, using sunglasses to hide his wandering gaze.?I feel so humiliated and undesired, like I’m invisible since becoming a mom. I confronted him, and he brushed it off as “you don’t even know who or what I was looking at- if I was even looking! relax!” Am I crazy for being upset? Is this normal guy behavior, or is he crossing a line? How do I get his attention back on me when I don’t even feel attractive anymore? Mamas, help—what would you do? I can’t help but feel that he is chomping at the bit to relive his past, leaving me to raise the child.

[Anonymous]

Trade him in for a Peloton and some self-respect.

[Anonymous]

So he had his sunglasses on but you're sure he was ogling all these women? This sounds partly like I may be your insecurity talking.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I have never felt this way. I don't really get why women get upset about this, tbh. I look at people in bikinis too. It's hard not to! As long as they couldn't tell where he was looking, and he kept it in check, I think it's okay. It sounds like it wasn't really "oogling" in the sense that any of them would have felt uncomfortable? I think that's an important distinction.

But it sounds like your main problem is you're not having sex as much as you want to so I would just focus on that as far as relationship issues. That is a lot more important than sunglassed-beach-looking, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

It’s disgusting and disturbing. I would be very embarrassed

[Anonymous]

Thank God you don’t have a 13-year-old daughter—those sunglasses would’ve been glued to her friends at the beach.

[Anonymous]

Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

Hold up, ‘barely 18’ means they’re adults, not children—let’s not clutch our pearls too hard, Karen. Sounds like some frumpy moms are just mad their hubs would rather eye legal hotties than their yoga-pant struggle. Only a ‘child’ in God’s eyes, and a quick glance from afar isn’t a crime. 😎

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s disgusting and disturbing. I would be very embarrassed

+1000
Then his gaslighting...ugh...men

[Anonymous]

Stop cryin ur man aint blind lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ew I’d be so disgusted if my husband was checking out children at the beach. And lying and gaslighting about it? He’s a pig. I’m glad you called him out on it.

Hold up, ‘barely 18’ means they’re adults, not children—let’s not clutch our pearls too hard, Karen. Sounds like some frumpy moms are just mad their hubs would rather eye legal hotties than their yoga-pant struggle. Only a ‘child’ in God’s eyes, and a quick glance from afar isn’t a crime. 😎

It also means OP or her DH didn’t ID them. It’s quite likely they were younger. You are a pervert to creep on children. Stay away from beaches and playgrounds.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s funny that the same people who rush to judgment here have no problem with men in drag reading to children at the library. You probably advocate for them being in the schools too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop cryin ur man aint blind lol

Good luck with that, and you deserve someone like the OP husband.
The dude has no self control. Imagine what he does online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s funny that the same people who rush to judgment here have no problem with men in drag reading to children at the library. You probably advocate for them being in the schools too.

And yet so few drag queens commit sex crimes against minors. It’s usually republican men. So no, I don’t have an issue with dressy gals with lots of makeup reading to kids. I do have a problem with pedophiles and the people that support or excuse their behaviours.