Boundaries - DD 18 choosing messy boyfriend entanglement

[Anonymous]

You not new

[Anonymous]

The psychologist can't talk to you, but you can talk to the psychologist. Tell them your concerns. Most psychologists are good at asking about such things indirectly.

[Anonymous]

What did you expect to happen with her growing up with an abusive dad? Honestly, you sound like an ahole.

[Anonymous]

You’re a POS OP. You role modeled it for her never fixed yourself and expect her to be 180 degrees different? Why didn’t you send her away to college?? Her life is tracking after yours - rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take you to get away from her abusive dad? I would think you'd be more empathetic and understanding not only because you've had an abusive partner but because her issues with this guy stem from her issues from her abusive dad.

+1

It was sort of a throw away line in the OP, but that is likely where the root of this issue lies. You grew up with abuse and chose an abusive partner and now your daughter, who was forced to live through your issues - is creating the same.

I get you want her to be smarter than it sounds like you were, that’s natural, but what seems lost of you is that she’s repeating what she knows because it’s what you modeled for her.

The two of you should see a family therapist.