Husband’s reason for Tinder account- validation

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I think that a nonzero number of the married men on tinder legitimately don't want to physically cheat and they do get off on women paying attention to them.

I obviously don't know what this number is. It's *possible* that OP's husband is one of them. At least currently.

But in all likelihood he is lying.

[Anonymous]

How does tinder work? Don't you have to put your picture there? Are the married men afraid they will be caught?

[Anonymous]

It’s code for he’s getting blowies in the motel on his lunch hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. I think that a nonzero number of the married men on tinder legitimately don't want to physically cheat and they do get off on women paying attention to them.

I obviously don't know what this number is. It's *possible* that OP's husband is one of them. At least currently.

But in all likelihood he is lying.

Unless that’s in their profile, they’re just lying and wasting the time of a different woman. Not less gross.

[Anonymous]

Oh honey. GTFO. NOW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out he had a tinder account??

When he purchased the app, the receipt wasemailed to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. I think that a nonzero number of the married men on tinder legitimately don't want to physically cheat and they do get off on women paying attention to them.

I obviously don't know what this number is. It's *possible* that OP's husband is one of them. At least currently.

But in all likelihood he is lying.

I agree with this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is validation the new buzzword for cheating or wanting to cheat?

So men have started using that old tired line now huh?

[Anonymous]

You deserve better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. I think that a nonzero number of the married men on tinder legitimately don't want to physically cheat and they do get off on women paying attention to them.

I obviously don't know what this number is. It's *possible* that OP's husband is one of them. At least currently.

But in all likelihood he is lying.

Unless that’s in their profile, they’re just lying and wasting the time of a different woman. Not less gross.

It's less gross if there's no STD risk.

[Anonymous]

I am a single lady that was on tinder and there are so many married men in there. You call them out and they admit it. Losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single lady that was on tinder and there are so many married men in there. You call them out and they admit it. Losers.

They were looking for the same thing as you ie to f***k.

What makes you better than those married men on tinder? Y'all looking to f***k

[Anonymous]

Seems plausible to me. It isn’t real world cheating, just a need for validation. What's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single lady that was on tinder and there are so many married men in there. You call them out and they admit it. Losers.

They were looking for the same thing as you ie to f***k.

What makes you better than those married men on tinder? Y'all looking to f***k

Lady, OLD is not about just finding someone to F**k. I have met some nice men online using Tinder. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

I support you in walking away. It doesn’t have to be “you must have cheated.” Maybe he did (probably), maybe he didn’t (looking around).

It’s the attitude
1. That he thinks monogamous married people can do this
2. That he had this attitude and when you found out
3. That he’d even think about it
4. That he’s not invested in building up relationship with you. It takes work, did he not get the memo? Did he think marriage was supposed to be easy street?
5. Maybe stretching my assumptions: It’s not just Tinder. Does he criticize you for x y or z but don’t fully trust or support you to manage x y or z. Like “you’ve gained weight” but then craps on you for things you’re tried, ties one arm behind your back “you can’t spend more” to fix it?

If you’re my friend, leave your sandbag behind, I’ll help set you up for a fun time without this guy holding you back. It sounds like it could be fun, not emotionally difficult.

If he gives what is owed, a massive apology about Tinder, his own work with a therapist, etc, then you can stay married to him.