They don’t know and/or don’t care. Super self-centered and yes, lack of self-awareness as a previous person said. Lack of empathy too. |
+2 Still recovering from being "raised" by a narcissistic mother. She can be so much fun but is at her core empty and hateful. So disturbing. And the lies! Nothing but lies. |
A lot of people can be both fun and hateful. Do they recognize it and try to change? A toxic person doesn't. They live their life the same way day after day. |
If she’s so awful, why isn’t she fired? |
I have observed four truly toxic people in my lifetime. I do not think they were aware, because when people inevitably turn away from them, they blame others. They also frequently fail to notice that they are bing "managed" by one or more people to protect others from the toxicity. Each ultimately became lonely, isolated, and bitter by age 50. |
No, they do not know their toxic they're blissfully unaware the damage they cause. Don't bother trying to show them or tell them it will be flipped back to you in a second. They will gaslight and point fingers never accepting that they're wrong that they cold EVER do anything wrong and you are the problem. They take zero accountability or fault. They lack any empathy. It's pretty scary to watch really. OP you are in a situation you can avoid this person so much better than this being your DH and your mother. Stay away from crazy. |
They are not aware they are toxic. When problems arise from their behavior, they easily blame others for them. Also, people like this often have a little cohort of people who have latched onto them and will support even their worst behavior. It's really interesting, but there are a lot of broken people in the world and this dynamic is bizarrely common. those hangers-on will happily tell the toxic person that she is the best and that anyone who doesn't like her is a hater, and in return the toxic person will reward them by treating them better than other people, so they enjoy an elevated position. |
Perfect example of toxic person blame |
Unfortunately that's not how the world works. |
I live with one they are unbearable and they are totally clueless. No self awareness at all nor do they care for any. |
Ah, yes. The "flying monkeys". |
Being rude, coarse, wrong, or even a flat out jerk, once, doesn't make someone "toxic". But staying in a dynamic where you're burned out, overlooked, abused, etc. and claiming zero responsibility for how that environment leads you to behave is 100% toxic. I'm sure all toxic people have a backstory/excuse, just like all toxic people have a choice. Grace is for the occasional "life happens" honest mistake, not someone's habitual bad behavior. |
So you realize it? |
Yep, seems like 8/10 of the posters here are toxic and don't realize it and won't admit it even to themselves. |
No. They think others are just like him. If others are not, why would they be. |